


Land of the Rising Son

by escapeasy



Series: Land [1]
Category: Code Geass
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bottom Suzaku, Drama, Drama & Romance, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance, Seme Lelouch, Seme Lelouch/Uke Suzaku, Top Lelouch, Top Lelouch/Bottom Suzaku, Yaoi, uke suzaku
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-10 10:29:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 55,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2021586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escapeasy/pseuds/escapeasy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>YAOI AU: Kururugi Suzaku, the Prince of the East, and Lelouch vi Britannia, the Prince of the West, are in a secret love affair. Despite the distance and the difficulties they’ve built a strong relationship—but the reality that Suzaku is the sole heir to the Japanese throne throws its weight and threatens to squash their love to dust! Lelouch OR Japan? Why not BOTH?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a short I wrote in _With a Side of Cake_ ; 9) Waste.
> 
> Note:
> 
> ‘English’
> 
> “Japanese”
> 
> *Also, all _italic_ openings are lyrics from the song _Love Letter to Japan_ by _The Bird and The Bee_. ([Link](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWYoIoqJURA))
> 
> Disclaimer?: I feel I should say that I don’t claim to be an expert on anything Japanese (or being a prince, for that matter). This is all just fictitious fun set in an alternate CG reality with a Suzaku-focus, who is Japanese. So, uh, yeah…

_Dearest one, I had a dream_

_I mouthed the words, the sound came out_

_I spoke to you in Japanese_

_Oh, my love I cannot see, I heard your name_

_I know at once the was no place I’d rather be_

_All at once, there was no place that I would rather be_

-•-

Land of the Rising Son 

Part 1 

_‘I have a love~ly surprise for you at the villa!’_

When Suzaku received that fairly cryptic message this morning, he wasn’t sure what to expect – if only because of the sender. Clovis la Britannia might be the third prince of his home country, but he is an  _odd_  sort of gentleman. While he’s always been nice to Suzaku he also has an ego as large as his homeland – which comprises of  _both_  the southern and northern areas of the continents – and often overflows with backhanded compliments. He isn’t a malicious man but has been finely crafted by the luxurious and elitist hands of powerful aristocrats and modesty simply isn’t a part of his design.

When he said little else other than to arrive at lunch time, Suzaku figured it was harmless enough – not that His Highness would really harm Suzaku… physically – and that he would only know the “surprise” at that time.

Suzaku doesn’t mind surprises, anyhow.

Spontaneity is a fun part of living.

Fortunately, Suzaku is free of his own duties today so he is able to join Clovis – not that the other prince had  _asked_  if he is available…

When he arrives at the wide, two-story mansion sprawled over gravel studded with topiaries, there’s nothing out of the ordinary within sight just yet. Suzaku steps into the ripe summer sunlight when an attendant opens the car door for him. The sleek black vehicle is a stark standout from the traditional Britannian aesthetic of whites and creams coating the villa. Pops of colour are along the circular driveway and in the trim bushes bordering the house with blooming flowers –  _always_  blooming no matter the weather. The variety changes, to suit the season, but the  _Lady_  of the house is responsible for that much in regards to gardening this place even when she isn’t staying. The light, floral scent spins in his nose with a light breeze as he walks to the door with his escorts in tow—

When the double-doors suddenly burst open and a rainbow flood of balloons is unleashed into Suzaku’s face before they float up to the sky as if fleeing the flamboyant man behind them. Prince Clovis stands at the entry with outstretched arms and shinning smile that isn’t nearly as bright as the custom kimono draped around him. Suzaku does his best to suppress a sigh at the flaming lions – literally, their manes are made of fire – printed on the sky blue robes, aware that it’s just this… eccentric prince’s way of celebrating… something.

‘Suzaku, my boy!’ Clovis sings, his flaunting voice bouncing around the large foyer.

‘Your Highness.’ Suzaku greets in a much more mild fashion with a dip of his head.

‘What do you think? It just came in!’ Clovis rotates to let Suzaku’s eyes truly behold the entirety of his kimono, directing with waving hands.

‘It’s…’ The obi sash isn’t even tied properly – a fact that’s only more obvious what with it being the  _brightest_  orange Suzaku has ever seen. The lions are ferocious with roaring mouths and springing claws, perhaps angry with existing on such a flashy getup, and small white flowers are peppered throughout with their rounded petals centered by diamonds. ‘…really something.’

Clovis smiles appreciatively, smoothing his hands over his creation with too much admiration. ‘Leaves you rather speechless doesn’t it?’

Suzaku laughs quietly in uneasy agreement.

It certainly does.

‘Good thing you like it,’ Clovis says, flicking a loose lock of his braided, long golden hair from his face. ‘Because I have one just for you, too.’

…Erm. ‘Is… that the surprise?’ Suzaku cautiously asks, uncertain if he’s being rude or not. Because, that kimono is…

Clovis chuckles behind his grin as steps behind Suzaku. ‘Close your eyes~!’ Clovis enthusiastically exclaims before taking the honor upon himself by slapping his hands over Suzaku’s eyes and pushes forward as if steering a horse. Suzaku tries to coordinate his steps through Clovis’ guiding but he feels much less graceful than if he just followed his other senses. A muddled grimace is waving across his lips as he listens to Clovis’ not-so stifled giggling, grasping the older man’s wrists if only so he doesn’t flail over his flouncing feet—

Until they reach an abrupt stop.

If not for the bumper of the hands on his face, Suzaku’s nose might’ve been what broke his fall.

‘You—!’ Clovis suddenly yells, his pampered voice shredding through his strain, ‘I told you—!’—an aggravated sigh—‘Please wait here a moment,’ he says in Suzaku’s ear, patience dissolving from his cheerful demeanor. ‘Don’t peek.’

‘…Yes Sir.’ Suzaku sheepishly replies after realizing Clovis is waiting for such response.

‘What happened to the  _bow_?!’ Suzaku hears Clovis grouse. ‘I picked it out especially—Don’t struggle!—Stay still and do as I told you!!’

‘Like Hell!' This second voice prickles right through Suzaku’s ears to his eyes with a twitch. ‘You don’t own me. There’s no way I’d wear that  _stupid_ —!’

‘It  _isn’t_  stupid! Stop being so difficult. It looks so fetching on you’

‘Get  _away_  from me!!’

‘…Lelouch—?!’ at that last fiery bellow, Suzaku’s eyes snap open, recognizing the owner and no longer able to follow orders—

But the scene before is eyes isn’t what he expected:

A black-haired man is attempting to untangle himself from his bigger brother who has an  _extremely_  red bow with little heart droplets hanging from lacy tendrils held tightly in his hand.

Scratch that. It’s  _exactly_  how it sounded.

Lelouch straightens his clothes with a haughty huff as he shoves and steps away from his older brother, who also huffs, brushing off the annoyance with  _dignified_  sweeps. For a few seconds, while caught in those amethyst eyes, Suzaku doesn’t –  _can’t_  – breathe. He just feels his heart pump loudly and hotly through his body as if yelling at him with frustration, demanding his bones to  _hurry_  his ass over to the taller man he hasn’t seen since  _winter_.

‘I—!’ Suzaku could hardly care less about bows or kimonos this moment. ‘I thought you weren’t coming until July?’

‘Surprise.’ The western prince’s lips ooze with charm as he smiles with a lazy shrug.

This is when Suzaku realizes he’s bouncing on his heels. His bubbling excitement is reflecting back at him in Lelouch’s cool countenance and he stills himself with a subtle cough – not without noticing the way a fleck of amusement quirks Lelouch’s lips. Suzaku can’t keep from smiling to the point that it might tear through his cheeks, however. He’s acting the part of an excited puppy, bounding up to Lelouch with unbridled gusto and jumpier than normal for a  _friendly_  greeting.

The truth is that his affections aren’t as innocent as a dog’s would be.

“Nice to see you as well, Tohdoh.” Lelouch smiles at Suzaku’s shadow, reminding the Japanese prince of his  _surroundings_. ‘You look well.’

‘Same to you, Your Highness,’ Tohdoh greets with a curt bow. ‘It’s been too long.’

‘Indeed.’ Lelouch says amiably, a quaint smile on his lips. ‘I know Jeremiah missed your company.’

Tohdoh lifts an eyebrow while Lelouch chuckles at the deadpan expression on the blue-haired Knight’s face who escaped Suzaku’s notice in the background – whether that’s do to Clovis’ colourful feathers or Lelouch’s sudden appearance, it’s hard to say.

No. It’s both.

‘Prince Suzaku,’ Jeremiah greets with a courteous dip of his head now that he’s been somewhat formally acknowledged.

Bashfulness touches Suzaku’s small smile. ‘I always tell you ‘Suzaku’ is fine.’

‘Of course, Sir.’

Suzaku’s simper is no less pleased by Jeremiah’s polite refusal.

“Will you be joining us for lunch?” Lelouch asks Tohdoh.

The older man hums with a shift of his eyes. “If you’ll excuse me, Your Highness, I’ve only come to see Suzaku well. I’ll return for him later.”

“I see.” Graciousness is glazed across Lelouch’s soft – do  _goddamn_  soft – lips even as they slightly frown. “Another time, then.”

Tohdoh hadn’t mentioned anything about  _leaving_  Suzaku alone before now, though.

‘ _Why_  is it that  _I_  wasn’t  _included_  in the  _greetings?_ ’ Clovis whines.

‘Jeremiah, greet my attention-deprived brother.’ Lelouch commands with an offhanded gesture at the stiff guard after Tohdoh’s exit. ‘Then take the day for yourself.’

Clovis squawks at that but Jeremiah reverently bows, ‘Yes, Your Highness,’ with an arm crossed over his chest as his master leaves with Suzaku herded into one arm.

‘And just  _where_  are  _you_  going?’ The older brother demands, his petulance ricocheting against marble floors and crystal chandeliers.

‘I’m going to show Suzaku his new kimono that you designed especially for him.’

‘I see!’ Clovis lights up like a flare of fireworks, any maltreatment towards him instantly torched and forgotten. ‘Do take your time!’

•-•

“We’re not really going to do that now, are we?” Suzaku asks hesitantly as they enter Lelouch’s private room. “I mean, I appreciate the thought, but—”

The lips on his neck and arms that wrap around his waist from behind effectively silence Suzaku’s mouth. He shudders, a weakness rippling through his body as he feels Lelouch’s kisses against his skin and spins himself around right into those  _delightful_  lips. He flings his arms around Lelouch’s neck as they sloppily and somewhat desperately kiss with tongues reaching to touch everything as if they feared never getting this chance again. Suzaku moans lightly at the back of his mouth when Lelouch’s hands sink into his plump posterior with squeezing fingers. The brunet hugs the coal-haired male tighter as if trying to merge them together, clinging to the body his has missed.

‘Forget about my stupid brother.’ Lelouch’s words steam against Suzaku’s lips when they break; dark and seductive like a sweet poison pouring into his mouth. ‘We’re alone and the door is locked.’

Why did Suzaku think Lelouch  _actually_  meant what he said to Clovis?

And did Clovis take his brother seriously, too? Or did he catch the  _implication?_

‘How long do we have?’

‘As long as we want.’

‘But, the lunch…?’

‘Like I said. Just forget it.’

Not a problem!

Suzaku’s back is flat against the bed swiftly enough as he pulls at Lelouch pants, bumbling with a black belt and zipper while Lelouch sheds his royal blue, yellow-trimmed blazer and white cravat. He’s still unbuttoning his silky, frosty gray long-sleeve shirt when a thoughtless moan pours from Suzaku’s lips as his fingers find the bulge concealed in Lelouch’s slacks. He smoothes his palms over the hard heat in Lelouch’s black boxer-briefs and spreads his legs wider apart for the man between them, hearing a deep chuckle in return. Lelouch hooks his hands under Suzaku’s knees and pulls them up after his shirt is abandoned to the floor, wedging himself comfortably in the middle of the brunet’s bare thighs. Suzaku moans again into a kiss as Lelouch pries into the split of his striped, two-toned forest green kimono and light gray under clothes, rubbing their hips together while the carefully folded sides of his garment are undone.

‘I do love you in a kimono, though.’ Lelouch amorously announces after leisurely unwrapping until Suzaku’s naked body is exposed with his arms splayed out as if in surrender.

‘Why’s that?’ A sly grin bends Suzaku’s lips and he tilts one of his bent knees to the side to let Lelouch’s hungry eyes funnel between his thighs. He doesn’t bother mentioning that his father’s  _traditional_  taste is responsible for his clothing – and not just because any thoughts of his father at the moment are extremely unwelcome. (If his father could see him now: eagerly spread underneath Lelouch, waiting to be taken… Just what expression would he have?)

‘Because it makes undressing you like opening a present.’ Suzaku can feel Lelouch’s salacious gaze slide over his skin, a prickle of excitement pebbling over his flesh in its wake and hardening his nipples. ‘It’s so…  _erotic_.’ Lelouch’s voice is overflowing with lust, a dark honey dripping into Suzaku’s ears and filling his head like a spell when they kiss again.

A slight snicker bumbles up Suzaku’s throat when Lelouch’s lips, tongue and hands begin roaming his body; lapping and gliding over the tracks his heated violets left behind. It’s Suzaku’s way of agreeing without saying so. There’s just something about the anticipation for touch as he’s peeled like a banana and then laid bare, vulnerable, under Lelouch’s hands and eyes that’s inexplicable exciting. Lelouch is already sucking and biting skin, making quick work of marking Suzaku as he savors his lover – but the foreplay feels like an unnecessary preface, especially when Suzaku’s nipples are involved. The mouth that suckles on his tense bud is like gasoline on a fire and he squirms, rubbing to feel Lelouch’s skin against his thighs while grabbing at the hand pinching his other nipple. It’s as if Lelouch is trying to start Suzaku up by pressing the power button when he’s already  _turned_   _on_. Perhaps he’s sending the wrong message, because when Suzaku mewls and rotates his hips, his impatience, against Lelouch he’s only pressed more firmly into their dip on the bed. Suzaku can feel Lelouch’s  _arousal_  jutting against him as its owner switches to his other pink nub without compunction. Lelouch even grinds their shared excitement together as his tongue traces the stiff spot on Suzaku’s chest that simmers delightedly in response unlike the urgent  _somethings_  father south that don’t appreciate the teasing.

That’s why, after spending  _months_  apart, Suzaku can’t – nor does he  _desire_  to – pace himself.

Time is always too slow when it should be faster.

‘Lelouch…’ Suzaku calls, a husky-wrapped plea floating on a push of desperation. “We can do more later, so…” So desperate that he can’t manage English on his tongue as he pulls his knees towards his chest, “for right now, just…”

The western prince lifts his head to settle the smoldering sight of his eyes on Suzaku’s face. ‘…I don’t want to hurt you.’

“You won’t.” The affirmation is much more solid in his voice than it is in Suzaku’s head, but it’s his body’s thoughts that are stronger this moment. “Please.”

Lelouch is looking equally dazed with a striking rouge across his cheeks and a sheen from his wet lips. Suzaku’s mouth feels dry, empty, just as his body has felt without Lelouch. His hesitance is understandable, considering the separation that paused the physical aspect of their relationship, but unnecessary – maybe Suzaku is too deprived to be cautious, but he doesn’t care.

‘…Lelouch…’ Suzaku beckons again, feeling much too overwhelmed with swirling emotions, euphoria overtaking lonesomeness like a flood across the desert and it’s welling up in his eyes. Lelouch kisses the palm that reaches for him, lowering to kiss the lips that so sweetly and delicately implored him. Suzaku relishes a moment of feeling Lelouch’s chest against his, the way their hearts pound as if in greeting, and he holds tightly to the black-haired man until hands are pushing at his bald shoulders.

‘Don’t want to stain your clothes, do you?’

Suzaku blinks at the blunt words that zing through his lovey-lusty fog but promptly sits up to pull away his ancestral attire while the older chap rifles in his pants pocket. The flush on Suzaku’s face is nearly cooked completely off of his skin when a small tube of lubricant is brought into view – a little item Lelouch  _knowingly_  stored in his pants. Suzaku’s breath catches in his chest and he slides his bottom lip up against is teeth as a zealous sensation twists inside him, quite pleasantly mewling at the way his underwear is wrenched from his hips. The open eagerness of Lelouch’s actions only boil that coiling feeling within Suzaku as he lies against the bed again, adoring the view from underneath the veneer the Britannian wears for everyone else. This fiery side of the famously cool prince only excites Suzaku even more, adding spice to the feeling of Lelouch’s dry fingertips surfing down the brawny currents of his flexing thigh muscles. A throaty sound of pleasure sails from Suzaku as Lelouch’s lubricated digits press against him, enter him, and the sensation squirms up his spine. Suzaku’s hips are uncontrollable at Lelouch’s hand, shifting like a wind sock in the breeze as another similar moan seeps from his lips. It’s soft and content as his eyes briefly close while those long fingers prepare his nearly-celibate body—

‘Have you been doing this  _yourself_?’

“…Like you didn’t know.” Suzaku groans a bit at the truth that teasingly nibbles from Lelouch’s mouth and presses his curled fist against his forehead.

‘I mean  _outside_  our  _phone_  calls.’

Suzaku  _isn’t_  in the mood to be teased. He already feels too  _close_  for comfort and he’d rather be with Lelouch when the  _end_  falls upon him. All the concentration at his entrance was appetizing but he’s too famished to be satisfied with Lelouch’s fingers alone – such an act is suitable for his lonely showers, not when the flesh he desires is right in front of him. His hands are once again reaching for Lelouch’s crotch that’s pressed closely to his, fingers wanting to claw at a task he somehow forgot to finish. Perhaps it was Lelouch’s intention to distract Suzaku – if so, it worked – and he will surely make up for that as his stretching shorts are yanked out of the way. Lelouch grunts at the blunt unveiling but still flaunts a proud smirk on his lips as he watches Suzaku gape with an eye-full of  _all_  that’s revealed. Lelouch hasn’t let on that he’s  _this_  aroused, which is rather unfair in Suzaku’s eyes—

‘So impatient,’ Lelouch taunts, his devilish voice twisting off his tongue and slithering into Suzaku’s ear as he leans forward.

Suzaku is somewhat surprised by the lips that press against his; he opens for the kiss but is disappointed his view has been obstructed—which is so much  _more_  unfair. Lelouch forces Suzaku deeper into the pillow with his tongue and all the brunet can hear are the fingers that exit him and their greasy movements over the  _something_  he wanted to admire. He presses his hand against Lelouch’s chest when the older boy leans over him, a teasing pressure building at his bottom; the slick, soft tracing of his waiting entry is circular and too tortuous. Lelouch is pushing and rubbing but not entering, making Suzaku writhe as if his body has become a tornado.

“Ngh. Don’t tease me…” Suzaku groans, one hand clenching Lelouch’s shoulder and the other fisted at his teeth as his spine worms with insatiable temptation.

Lelouch chuckles again, a deep and quiet rumble like thunder and the anticipation for the storm is brewing under Suzaku’s skin. Suzaku’s cheeks are already red-hot when Lelouch pushes into him and now he thinks his chest might burst as the moment spreads within him in a slow singe. The long craving burning through his flesh is languidly being fed as Lelouch’s solid erection slides through his tight opening in a pleasant, scorching spear. An airy moan breezes from his throat as he feels himself being filled, his body curving as Lelouch’s hips finally meet him. It’s almost too much and yet not enough. His muscles are a chaotic spasm of satisfaction and greed as deep breaths hoist from his lungs and he takes a moment to enjoy the sensation of  _finally_  being joined with his  _lover_.

‘Suzaku…?’ Is the concerned huff from Lelouch’s lips as he pets the side of the brunet’s face.

“It’s fine. I’m fine _._ ” Suzaku assures with a faint smile, tightly bending his legs around Lelouch, never wanting him to be  _anywhere_  else. ‘It’s… good _._  You’re good.’

Lelouch presses his forehead against Suzaku’s, the moisture on their skin hot and sticky but pleasant unlike the humid summer days Lelouch had cursed when first visiting this island nation. A soft smile of reverie splashes Suzaku’s mouth as he wraps his arms around the man hunched over him like a rainbow and kisses the warmth that’s so much hotter than he can seem to remember.

“I’ve missed you so much it hurts.” Suzaku murmurs against Lelouch’s lips, fingers firmly threading in onyx hair like knots. ‘I love you so much it hurts even more.’

‘…I’m moving now,’ Lelouch declares in a rather brusque mutter, apparently ignoring a raging rash of something  _emotional_  trampling across his cheeks. He pushes his hips heavily against Suzaku, making the younger man’s body tighten and his face slightly purse, squeezing a small gasp of excitement from his lungs—

Just before Lelouch is moving his body and Suzaku is easily lost in the motions as they surge over him. He is in a comfortable trance on the bed as his body remembers Lelouch through these initially tame intrusions that still seem to be a torrent tear right through him. Lelouch is dominating his every sense, nerve and breath and he’s drowning while breathlessly chanting for more. As Suzaku’s eyes are trapped and mesmerized by the lustful amulets that are Lelouch’s amethyst eyes, he understands the desirous swashing in his head is just another claim.

Indeed, Suzaku has known for years that he belongs to Lelouch – just as Lelouch belongs to him – and right now that feeling couldn’t be greater expressed than how tightly they’re fitted together. He feels utterly delirious as his lover moves inside his body, reaching the place allowed only for him to touch and unearthing something only he can inspire. Suzaku lies at the bank of pleasure as Lelouch’s body fluidly laps at his, flowing and ebbing with stronger tides that tumble unintelligible Japanese from the his mouth. Suzaku doesn’t cry to any god or any heaven, just half-eaten praises that are given right back to him by Lelouch’s hips. Such earnestness from the aloof prince is a subtle language dripping on Suzaku’s skin and filling him up to the brim of his skull until any straggling thoughts are oozing out of his ears.

Every deepening thrust that enters Suzaku slices away the time they spent apart. All that snail-sliding time that splinters under Lelouch’s body, kiss and touch after thrust shattering the time that was trapped in Suzaku’s chest like a sandglass. Each and every grain of sand that encumbered him is whirled away as Lelouch fills him with the hot haze of pleasure instead. Suzaku becomes a breathless puffing machine under this sweaty bliss that has seared into his memory and never cooled. It kept him warm while Lelouch was away; sometimes they were a fuzzy heat that made him feel weightless until they roasted too hotly and burst his bubble with lonely aches that sometimes moistened his dreams…

Odd how now Suzaku can’t tell if he’s really awake.

Lelouch pushes against the back of Suzaku’s knee with one hand and Suzaku’s wrist against the bed with the other as he throws all he can manage through his hips as they hustle to the peak. Suzaku is deep underwater, body moving in the natural rhythm of an oceanic passion where their scent is a reassuring, heady aroma clouding in his head. The brown waves of his hair are moist and mussed as his head rubs and tosses against the pillow, ears overflowing with Lelouch’s labored grunts and breath that bathes his skin. Suzaku can even taste it on his tongue as he gulps for air around uncontrollable sounds pumping up from these hardy thrusts, neither ever seeming to ease in the slightest.

The world is tilted as their desires chase all that time they never shared together. Suzaku can feel the rush barreling through his body as he consumes everything Lelouch is giving him and he closes his free leg tighter around the fair-flushed man to keep him from drifting too far. Impatience, desperation, infatuation… Suzaku doesn’t even know the word for this any longer – other than  _ecstasy_. He’s moaning with chops of elation that flood his nerves as the person he wholeheartedly loves kisses, marks and pleasures him with equal affection. Lelouch’s thrusts are precise and adept, pushing Suzaku with pleasant persistence that nudges him steadily, carefully to the edge in an almost torturous way – but Suzaku adores each bump of those boney hips against him that always land with promise…

Before he even thinks about it, he’s reaching for what was ignored between them and is touching himself with anxious fingers. His strokes are harsh and hasty, even clumsy against the strong repetition of Lelouch’s body against him, but he doesn’t stop. Not only can he already hear the painful  _wheezing_  of Lelouch’s dying energy but the climax is an undeniable pressure corked in his erection like a bottle of Champaign he’s slowly twisting to  _pop_. Lelouch’s head slump to the side, croaking pants painting across Suzaku’s cheek and wading into his ear as the grips on his wrist and thigh tighten.

‘… _Suza…ku_.’

It’s a surprisingly fragile murmur of his name, soft despite the hoarse huffing of failing lungs, and never has the sound of his own name been so  _sexy_. It has purred from Lelouch’s lips through a smirk or with a slight cackle over the phone, but  _this_  is so sweet it twangs through Suzaku with a shudder. He clenches his eyes shut and gropes his hard length with fevered squeezing as Lelouch’s hips swing against him like a pendulum ticking time – an utterance of Suzaku’s name is the  _warning_  this time and it’s enough to yank his orgasm right out of his youthful body, but he holds it. He wants to wait. Lelouch’s name is slurring from his heaving lungs as he clamps himself, all of the older prince’s efforts burgeoning to the brink until a sudden, choked noise scratches in Lelouch’s throat and his body stiffens with a last and lingering thrust. Suzaku releases his hand not even a second later and everything unravels in a rapturous rush until he’s another sag of flesh and bones on the moist patch of bed. Lelouch flops to the side on his back with a heavy gust while Suzaku is a weightless whip of fluff. He rakes his fingers through the wet flurry of his hair as he sits up, lazily emerging from his tranquil surfing with a dopey smile.

‘Lelouch, you were…’ Suzaku starts, his simper falling and eyebrow raising once his greens land on closed eyes. ‘…You’re not falling asleep, are you?’

Lelouch barely bothers to groan.

‘What about lunch?’

He shifts in his increasingly sleepy state. ‘…Forget it…’

‘But, I’m actually hungry.’ Suzaku grins, poking Lelouch’s shoulder as the older boy curls a bit onto his side.

‘…Mm… Then go…’

‘By myself?’

‘ _I’m_  sleeping. Do whatever you want.’ Lelouch grumbles, eyebrows lightly furrowed.

‘How romantic.’ Suzaku dryly quips, glancing at the time. ‘You got what you wanted and now you’re checking out? Won’t you even cuddle with me a little, at least?’

‘…’

‘…Lelouch?’

His only response is quiet breathing.

Suzaku leans closer, nestling on his stomach and in the contour of Lelouch’s slender frame, rubbing his thumb over a hot, pink cheek.

‘…I guess you were pretty tired even  _before_  this, huh?’ Suzaku smiles softly to himself, skimming the tip of his finger over Lelouch’s plump lower lip.

Can’t be helped, Suzaku supposes. Lelouch can rest.

…For now.

•-•

‘…So you snuck away, in other words?’ Suzaku grins; seated at the small, round table in the salon with a wide view of the backyard garden and courtyard.

‘ _Sneaked_. ‘Snuck’ is improper.’ Lelouch coolly deflects. There was apparently supposed to be a trio of string performers to play for them while they ate, but Lelouch did away with that.

‘So you’re not denying it?’ Suzaku’s grin widens at the blatant dodge.

‘Why, are you complaining?’ Lelouch arcs his thin ebony eyebrow, stabbing his fork into a seasoned red potato wedge.

‘I’m not.’ Suzaku coyly shrugs, sipping his water. ‘I just don’t want you to get into trouble.’

‘I’m already 20 years old. A legal adult even by your standards.’ Lelouch deadpans, blandly chewing his bite. ‘I don’t ‘get in trouble’ anymore.’

‘But you left your mother there alone. She won’t be happy about that.’

Lelouch sighs. ‘She’s also an adult. She doesn’t need me to take care of her.’

‘I guess that’s true. So, your mother will be visiting in July as planned, then?’

‘Yes. And it’s never a good idea to leave Clovis alone for too long.’

‘What? I’ve only been here for a month.’ Clovis is the only person keeping them from being alone. Lelouch was very vocal about that, as well, but the man won’t budge.

‘And now you can leave.’

‘So cold!’

‘This isn’t your play house, it’s my home. Don’t overstay your non-existent welcome.’

‘Why are you so mean to your big brother who went through all this effort to please you?’—And yet he couldn’t even leave the two birds  _alone_  to enjoy it.

‘I didn’t ask you to do anything.’

‘What about the message I got from him?’ Suzaku asks.

‘That was all I required, and he was even weird about that.’

‘And to think if I didn’t do all of this for you Suzaku would’ve just come here to your face and  _nothing_  else! What kind of surprise is that? Where is the  _pizzazz?_ ’

‘Suzaku doesn’t need  _pizzazz_.’ Lelouch tersely says.

Clovis gapes. ‘You hear that, Suzaku? He doesn’t think you need to be treated with any sort of specialty!’

‘That  _isn’t_  what I said!’

Suzaku just  _simpers_.

Lelouch was right, even if it sounded wrong.

Just seeing Lelouch here was surprise enough and all he wants.

…Not that he  _doesn’t_  appreciate Clovis’ troubles.

‘I wanted to do a dinner for the two of you.’ Clovis continues as if not hearing his younger brother. ‘They’re much more refined and romantic but Lelouch  _insisted_  we do lunch. He said he just  _couldn’t_  wait until evening to see you.’

‘You did?’ Suzaku flicks big doe-eyes on Lelouch with incredulity – because Lelouch would  _never_  openly voice something like that.

‘I didn’t.’ Lelouch says, surly, with a glower at his brother.

See?

‘He was much too impatient. Fussing about as I did what little I could. If it had been later, I could’ve done so much more. Candles, swans, chocolate fountains – the works!’

‘I just didn’t see the point in waiting when I was already here. You did lunch all on your own.’ Lelouch dismissively utters with a sip of his Bloody Mary – a scoff dropped like a rug over his honest emotions, but Suzaku still smiles softly at him. ‘And I  _told_  you to leave before he got here.’

Clovis ignores him. ‘I nearly had to literally whip the staff to get  _these_  meager preparations in order on time. And then he didn’t even wear the pretty bow! Honestly!’

‘Like you would lift a finger even for that. And  _no one_  told you to do anything.’ Lelouch angrily retorts. ‘ _And_  I  _never_  said I would wear it!’

‘I think it’s sweet.’ Suzaku says, smiling a gooey-sappy smile that makes Lelouch cough as if it’s stuck in his throat.

Clovis hums. ‘The sweetest you’ll probably get from him, no?’

‘Why are you still here?’ Lelouch coldly grouses. ‘No one wants you around.’

As Clovis flounders in the insult Lelouch slapped across his face and the two begin to bicker, Suzaku stifles a chuckle. These two brothers have always been a bit at odds but nothing serious or cruel. At most teasing is their pass-time even though Lelouch is sometimes too dry to make his sarcasm stick and Clovis is too sensitive to always know the difference. This time, though, Suzaku is betting Lelouch’s bitterness is on his interrupted sleep. The only reason Lelouch is even at lunch is because of Clovis’ persistence – he phoned Lelouch’s bedroom a number of times to get him up, but when that was ignored – by way of an unplugged phone courtesy of an ireful Lelouch – a personal visit at the door was required. Clovis didn’t let up until Lelouch was stalking down the stairs for the extravagant meal he planned. Suzaku is grateful, even if he panicked prematurely and dressed himself in haste and Lelouch is grumpy when he’s tired.

Suzaku is just pleased to spend time with Lelouch.

And, of course, he’d been  _expecting_  to eat.

Sex only made his stomach hungrier.

Once Clovis scurries to the wash room in a hurry, after Lelouch told him he had something in his teeth, said younger brother sighs off some irritation and swallows more alcohol.

‘He was supposed to make himself scarce.’ Lelouch gripes, pressing the iced, sweaty glass against his forehead. ‘Why did I think he actually would?’

‘He’s just excited.’

‘Puppies get excited. Clovis is at this level 24-7.’

‘You could’ve just told him that you wanted to be alone.’ Suzaku softly smiles – inwardly wry for the same comparison he made of himself earlier.

‘I did.’

‘In those words?’

‘…I don’t see what difference it makes.’

‘You, of all people, should know you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.’

‘I don’t  _want_  to catch flies. I want them to leave me alone.’ Lelouch sets his glass down on the red velvet table cloth cluttered with confetti and valentine-themed roses. ‘Besides, he’s used to it.’

Suzaku hums. ‘Just how brothers are?’ Not like Suzaku would really know. He’s had similar interactions with his cousin, but Kaguya is a girl and not over all that often.

‘Well…’ Lelouch appears to catch the lonely twinge in Suzaku’s voice, knowing he’s grown up a lonely, only child. ‘More like that’s just how you’re supposed to treat Clovis.’

‘That’s mean.’

‘No, it isn’t. He’s nothing more than an overgrown, spoiled child. Harsh treatment suits him.’

_Tough love_ , is it?

Suzaku snickers a bit mockingly. ‘Or maybe you’re just suited to treating others harshly.’

Lelouch’s expression is blank barely a second before he’s coating it with his more lecherous shade. ‘You’ve certainly never minded when I treat you a little ‘harshly.’’

‘That—!’ Suzaku isn’t blushing at that. ‘ _That_  is very different.’ He  _isn’t!_

Lelouch chuckles in his chest, those deep rumblings that Suzaku loves to hear  _except_  in this moment.

‘Listen,’ he says as he sets his arm across the  _heart_ -shaped back of Suzaku’s chair. ‘I wanted to do this  _privately_.’ He glances in the direction where Clovis scampered like a cat with its tail on fire. ‘Luckily his vanity buys us some time. It’s about your birthday present.’

‘You mean your  _presence_  isn’t my present?’

Lelouch clears his throat at Suzaku’s attempt at a joke. ‘…Yes and no. I’m moving here.’

—!?

‘…What?’ Suzaku’s brain  _might’ve_  just broken.

‘I mean officially. This Villa has become my new home.’ Lelouch smirks and tousles Suzaku’s messy brown head, easily answering the question he sensed within it. ‘No more country hopping unless it’s important or unavoidable.’

Suzaku’s brain has definitely frozen, but his body definitely hasn’t. He springs to his feet before words can even complete themselves in his head and he’s hauling the taller male out of his chair.

‘This—! I can’t even—! You—!’ Suzaku’s limbs spare him any more sputters by simply yanking Lelouch to his body in a bear-hug.

‘ _Happy birthday_.’ Lelouch grates through a wince, encased in the jittery Japanese prince’s arms. ‘It’s just  _one_  part of your gift, though.’ When Suzaku pulls back with a curious blink, a satiny smile softly blankets Lelouch’s lips as he taps Suzaku’s nose with his finger.

Suzaku’s lower lip trembles. ‘I—! I don’t need anything else!’ he emphatically declares as he squeezes Lelouch to ward off his joyful tears.

‘ _Suzaku…! Can’t_ …  _breathe_ … _!_ ’

‘S-Sorry!’

Lelouch manages to chuckle again, breathlessly and red-faced, patting Suzaku’s head while the teen wishes he wasn’t so emotional. He sniffles slightly as the Britannian wipes the undignified expression from his face with a sweep of his hair—

Before his cool violets are pounced by gleaming greens. ‘Guess that means I can have you whenever I want, then?’ Suzaku murmurs, trying on his most impish tone.

‘As long as you understand it works both ways.’ Lelouch grins, bedeviling in all the right ways.

•-•

Suzaku can’t keep track of his own breathing as he moves his body, hips set in a strong, bobbing rhythm on Lelouch’s lap. He’s riding on building pleasure as he watches the way enamored excitement blooms on those Britannian cheeks below hooded eyes. Suzaku likes the way Lelouch’s razor stare carves into him as pinkened fingertips caress the slopes and angles of his body. Despite looking comfy in his nest of feather-filled, neutral-toned cushions, Lelouch is keeping his hands very busy roaming the bouncing body straddling him. Suzaku truly enjoys the way fair hands slide over his skin as he carries them to the tip-top, gasping a stray breath as he feels them rub and squeeze his nipples. Teasingly toying with his pointed nubs, Suzaku’s back curves into a tighter arch and that gleams hotly in Lelouch’s eyes; they’re such vivid violets that blaze so intensely, it makes Suzaku feel even more empty-headed and dizzy than he already is.

He grabs Lelouch’s shoulder as he drops his head and shifts his hips to a faster gear that makes the proud prince under him grunt as he pushes himself down more roughly. Suzaku kisses that sound from Lelouch’s wet lips, licking and huffing as the fingers that explored his body sink into his round rump and  _squeeze_. Those long, firm digits clench and pull his flesh to the rhythm of his thrusts, almost urging him along faster. Suzaku can tell by a glance at his love’s face that the end is near and he straightens himself with a sprouting moan that twines between his pants. He lets his head fall back as his eyes fall shut, clutching Lelouch’s arm with his other hand and loses his body to the tossing of pleasure and Lelouch’s heavy breathing. Suzaku’s mouth drops open and a scoop of sound escapes his control; an indulgent leap of his voice that coils around his spine and yanks when release shatters both of them. All at once he’s stiff and loose as he feels Lelouch deep in his body and the spinning world topples with a crash…

Suzaku’s head is still in a daze when his entire body goes limp, looking down at Lelouch as the mingled pieces of themselves divide and melt back into place. Lelouch is sweaty and spent like a dead fish, making Suzaku wonder if maybe this was more than his partner could bear. He knows the older man’s endurance isn’t close to strong – more like  _below_  average – and coupling that with the fact that they’ve spent the  _majority_  of their reunion in bed… It’s always a glaring sign of Lelouch’s depleted energy levels when he  _allows_  Suzaku take the more active role.

‘Lelouch… are you tired?’ Suzaku asks as he catches his breath, feeling himself recover more quickly than his fatigued friend.

‘Yes—No. That is…’ Lelouch wipes the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand and closed eyes. ‘I need a moment.’

‘I’m sorry if I’m being too eager.’ Suzaku says a bit quietly – insecurely – as he lies beside Lelouch underneath the caramel satin sheets. ‘I just…’

‘Don’t  _apologize_.’ Lelouch chides, closing his fingers around Suzaku’s chin and pressing their lips together. ‘It’s understandable that you missed me so strongly you became overwhelmed with uncontrollable passion upon our reuniting  _and_  was consequently hungered by my announcement.’

‘I…’ Suzaku simpers. ‘I didn’t say that.’ But he was  _damn_  close to admitting it.

Lelouch is smirking, softly but still smirking.

When he chuckles knowingly at Suzaku’s weak argument, the eastern prince has no choice but to sigh as his neck is kissed by the man attached to this ego –  _and_  that Suzaku has only increased its size.

‘Good thing for you  _that_  is no longer an issue.’ Lelouch carries on, sincerely soaked in his own conceit. ‘I’ll be right here whenever you  _need_  me.’

Suzaku rolls his eyes – not that Lelouch notices.

‘I think I’ll miss these  _passionate_  reunions where you  _plead_  me to take you or hearing you gasp my name with your sweet voice over the phone, but…’

‘I can arrange some  _distance_  right now, if you’d like.’

‘Relax.’ Lelouch’s cheeky half-smile says. ‘I’m just teasing you.’

‘…I won’t miss it.’ Suzaku softly says as he skims a finger down Lelouch’s wet chest. ‘I prefer you close to me.’

‘I think we’ve established that.’ Lelouch quips.

Suzaku sticks out his tongue.

‘But, we won’t always have the chance to be attached at the hip’—Lelouch wags his eyebrows at the implication and Suzaku shakes his head—‘For instance, right now I’m sure you’re thinking it’s getting late and that you’ll need to leave soon. Even though you  _really_  want to stay right here with me all night.’

Dead on.

‘I’m that easy to read, huh?’

‘You’re not even a challenge.’ The arrogant prince murmurs as he nuzzles into Suzaku’s ear, lips pecking his jaw. ‘And  _I_  think you should stay the night regardless of whatever  _you_  are thinking.’ Lelouch’s words are a trickling tingle down Suzaku’s skin that bubble up from his stomach and out of his mouth in little giggles like a giddy foam as lips press light kisses down his neck.

‘I thought you said you needed a moment?’

‘That  _was_  a moment.’ Neither Lelouch nor his kisses falter as they speckle delightful bumps over Suzaku’s body as he pecks along a collarbone.

‘Mmm… Maybe I could… make a call…’ Suzaku technically has lessons tomorrow and he knows Tohdoh is waiting to retrieve him, but… if he wakes up early enough in the morning, he should be able to adhere to his schedule.

‘Maybe you should.’

Somehow it doesn’t seem even  _that_  will be possible when Suzaku is already yielding on his back and Lelouch’s mouth is closing on his nipple. He doesn’t resist the pleasant tingle Lelouch’s tongue needles through his blood but he does shift with a quiet chide of the other prince’s name on his lips as he weaves his fingers into onyx hair. Lelouch relents only to smear a possessive kiss on Suzaku’s mouth as he presses his body against the one beneath him with unyielding weight.

‘I’m  _not_  letting you go home tonight.’

•-•

Suzaku revisits a different heaven as they lie tangled together in Lelouch’s bed, breathing-in the soft peace of sleep. Lelouch has long since gone comatose but his body is warm, tangible and like another blanket with an arm draped over Suzaku’s waist. Face to face and chest to chest, Suzaku relishes the close proximity of the man who keeps his heart and rests at ease in the darkness, awash in Lelouch’s scent. He’s soothed by the soft swath of Lelouch’s breaths wafting across his cheek and the heartbeat that pumps his with contentment. Just by being bundled up in blankets and limbs, Suzaku is in heaven.

Such simple heaven he never has to be separated from again.

Not by oceans.

Not by borders.

Not by all that distance that makes the world too large.

•-

-•

The sun is filtering brightly through the trees outside one of the tall windows of the palace library, casting warmly over Suzaku’s arm and the open book of his nation’s economic policies. It’s more than a  _little_  complicated and more  _boring_  than Suzaku is willing to openly admit, but today is a  _study_  day and he’ll read whatever is assigned to him – even if his tutor has left the room. How much of it will  _stick_ , however, is a different story…

The revelation that Lelouch is practically permanently becoming Suzaku’s neighbor should be calming, and in a way it is, but he’s giddy with the news that’s still freshly fizzy in his blood. All of those dreaded days and nights when all he wanted was to be near Lelouch; to see his smile, feel his body, listen to his heartbeat… Those grueling moments are extinct. They may have to spend some time apart, Suzaku understands, but nothing to the extent as they have been until now. They’ve been friends since childhood and romance isn’t really a new addition to their relationship. It was a smooth transition – the only renovation required is how to handle the distance while yearning, but Lelouch has already settled that issue.

A sudden snarl snags Suzaku’s ears, and he pries his green eyes away from the truly fascinating details and stipulations of foreign trade to the much more pleasant sight to his side. Suzaku smiles softly at the other prince slumbering on a nearby sofa that’s safely tucked away from the intruding sunlight. He isn’t sure if Lelouch is tired from jetlag or sex – they did burn quite a lot of  _energy_  yesterday and that always takes a stronger toll on Lelouch than it does Suzaku. Or maybe Lelouch was just bored. The ironic part is that Lelouch wanted to tag along with Suzaku today to help adjust his internal clock to Japanese time. The older prince had  _strongly_   _suggested_  Suzaku should skip his study work several times but Suzaku didn’t waver. Lelouch then resigned himself with a dramatic sigh and settled on the couch in wait. While Suzaku doesn’t always  _enjoy_  his lessons he understands their importance – and perhaps Lelouch does as well, since he wasn’t as persistent about sneaking off to do something more fun as he could’ve been. Suzaku wanted to. He  _really_  did. But now that Lelouch is here to stay, Suzaku doesn’t feel so… anxious to tie himself to the other prince.

Moreover, he doesn’t have the same luxuries Lelouch has – although that isn’t quite the right way to put it… Lelouch vi Britannia is the 11th son of the Britannian Emperor and 17th in line for the throne. The odds of him ever ascending to power are slim, as he’s even noted (not without “ _major housecleaning_ ,” as he put it), so he allows himself to live more lazily than he should – the fact that he’s decided to move to Tokyo instead of furthering his education is telling. The truth is, if Lelouch  _wanted_  to be in the race for power of any kind within the government of his country, he would be. He’s cunning, savvy, and fearless but he lacks the desire and despite being adept at politics he is averse to them. Suzaku can’t blame him for that, but he sometimes wonders if it’s a waste – or if he just envies that untethered lifestyle…

Suzaku, on the other hand, is the only child to the Japanese emperor. It’s a long way off before he’ll ever obtain the throne after his father, and he won’t be alone in leading the country, but he is the tip of the spear. Suzaku will one day sit at the top and he needs to be as prepared and knowledgeable as he can be to properly lead his people – a more than intimidating thought, but he’s been familiar with it his entire life, having been groomed for nearly just as long.

Even so, he’s only really ever felt like a prince in name. His father, Genbu Kururugi, is a strong leader that has the respect of the majority even if he isn’t always kind. He’s fair but very strict. He involves himself heavily in running their nation, more than maybe many other present-day monarchal societies. The truth is that his father is very much beloved by their people for rejuvenating the hard-hit and slumping economy of his predecessor, subsequently uniting the torn nation. He improved relations with some of their allies and launched a very lucrative field of aiding the Britannians with developing their knightmares. When it was revealed that that Japan harbored the largest amount of a rare resource, known as sakuradite, in the world, it wasn’t long before the collaboration between the two old nations strengthened their friendship even further – and in turn boosted the wealth as they began to merge more with Britannia’s economy which was in better shape. Soon enough, Japan returned to the strong, proud nation they once were as they climbed out of a rough recession… Suzaku tries to not think too much about how big the shoes are that he’ll need to fill – after all, his father is still healthy and relatively young as far as politicians go, so it won’t be too soon before he needs to step up.

The young prince forgets his worries with a stretch, stress cracking from his spine with seductive procrastination and he’s up on his feet for break time fairly quickly without another glance at his assignment. He steps lightly over to Lelouch, sweeping his eyes around for any spies, and kneels beside the blissfully sleeping man. A delicate slide of his fingertip pulls back the fray of Lelouch’s sable hair, revealing just how  _ridiculously good-looking_  he is. This scene calls certain western fairy tales to mind and while Lelouch wouldn’t appreciate being compared to a  _princess,_  mischievousness flares the edges of Suzaku’s mouth. He dips his head to place a chaste kiss on the sleeping beauty, feeling Lelouch’s warmth on his lips as he gently brushes—

But a choking grip clamps on his neck below his Adam’s apple—

And then he’s a coughing mass on the floor.

Isn’t there a saying about not bothering a sleeping animal…?

Lelouch certainly looks a bit like a feline with springing claws as he notices Suzaku on the floor.

‘Oh, Suzaku…’ but he doesn’t sound nearly as alarmed.

“You…”— _hack_ — _couch_ — _couch_ —“got my throat.” His trachea, to be more accurate.

‘Mm… Reflex.’—Is all Lelouch offers in apology as he sits up with a yawn and a leisurely stretch.

‘You didn’t forget where you are, did you?’ Suzaku rubs at his neck, knowing he’ll be  _a lot_  more careful around this sleeping beauty – and he’s somewhat grateful Jeremiah isn’t in the room to see what just happened.

‘I felt someone kissing me. That’s  _assault_  regardless of where I am.’ Lelouch perfunctorily says as he stands and straightens his clothes.

Of course… Lelouch would  _never_  allow himself to be so vulnerable even—no,  _especially_  in his sleep. Suzaku knows Lelouch has learned some form of self-defense on his mother’s insistence despite having a Knight, but has never actually  _witnessed_  it. He’s even seen the pistol Lelouch carries but never in use. To think his mother had him learn about the vulnerabilities of the human body and how to exploit them… Even though Lelouch is slow and weak, he could still do some damage – and combined with the pistol, now that Suzaku thinks about it… This cool prince has just become exceedingly more dangerous.

Suzaku attempts to laugh but it’s a measly, uneasy patter of his voice tripping through the space between them. He still isn’t sure if Lelouch’s  _preparedness_  is comforting or worrisome.

‘A-anyway, are you hungry? We could have lunch outside in the gazebo.’ Suzaku gets back to his feet after Lelouch offers him a hand.

“Sure.” A smile. ‘You look like you need some air.’

•-•

‘There is a nice breeze today,’ Lelouch casually notes before sipping a small cup of tea.

‘Yes. I’m glad it’s not too hot today.’ Suzaku smiles softly to himself, looking out across the emerald lawn sparkling under the midday sun and at all the wild hedges bordering the covered, stone walkways that sway gently in the wind. ‘It feels nice.’

Lelouch’s eyes slide and pin on Suzaku as he lowers his cup. ‘Jeremiah.’

‘Yes, Your Highness?’ Said man responds from the edge of the large square gazebo, standing the most respectful distance he allows between him and his master.

‘Is there anyone else nearby?’ Lelouch places the cup on its saucer, eyes locked with Suzaku’s that look at him with curiosity.

‘No, Your Highness.’

‘Then,’ he slides his arm across Suzaku’s shoulders, sparing only an impish curl of his lips at the guard, ‘would you mind turning around?’

Suzaku swallows the instant the broad back of Lelouch’s knight is facing them, more than ready for the lips that touch his. It’s a somewhat bitter, herbal taste that swims into his mouth as he opens for Lelouch’s tongue, feeling it sweep over his bottom lip before diving in as he grasps at the other arm that reaches for him. He lets himself become cradled when a soft, warm hand cups his face, tilting and pulling him deeply into the kiss the passes slowly between them. Suzaku’s heart is full, thudding happily as everything other than Lelouch, his touch, his taste, is carried away by the wind that sifts lightly through his hair—

‘Incoming,’ Jeremiah quietly warns with practiced ease – a reality that’s all too painful. Considering the man is always stitched to Lelouch like a second shadow, he’s been more than aware of the  _relationship_  between these two princes – it probably wouldn’t be unfair to say that Lelouch uses him as a buffer more than a body guard in moments like these. Even if his back is turned now, he’s inadvertently seen Suzaku naked at one time or another. He’s always been very… professional, and that always makes Suzaku uncomfortable when the man addresses him by title. All things considered, it feels too formal.

(Or like  _mockery_.)

Suzaku mewls against Lelouch’s lips, clinging to fabric like sacred beads as he wishes for this moment to never end – to not have to hide behind a lie or pretend it doesn’t hurt. When Lelouch’s lips withdraw, Suzaku has no choice but to follow suit, reluctantly releasing the sleeve of Lelouch’s rustic red jacket. He resigns himself to the creeping coldness of Lelouch’s absent touch as a few palace servants scuttle by in the distance.

‘…It  _does_  feel nice.’ Lelouch says this with a playful tongue licking at his smirk, words dripping from his mouth like melted frosting into Suzaku’s ears.

Lelouch can smile hollowly but Suzaku can only quickly press his fingertips to what he lost from his lips.

‘This part of the palace grounds reminds me of the Aries villa, back in Britannia.’

‘Ah—! I’ve seen pictures of it. It must be beautiful this time of year.’ Suzaku smiles but hates the formal tone they’ve suddenly adopted. So  _unnatural_.

‘It is,’ Lelouch agrees, taking another sip of tea and casting a sultry gleam into Suzaku’s eyes. ‘But, I look forward to spending the seasons here in Japan again.’

‘Yes…’ Suzaku tries to keep his voice from wavering but isn’t so successful. ‘And I would like to see your home someday.’

‘You will.’ Lelouch smiles – so innocent and mild on the outside that no one would suspect he has fangs that can bite, and  _corrupt_ , hidden on the inside.

They’ve known each other for a long time but Suzaku doesn’t often leave the palace any more. Not too long ago there was an old rule, of sorts, that forbid royalty to leave the palace walls. While that order no longer stands, thanks again to Suzaku’s father, it doesn’t mean he’s wandered freely. Suzaku has become very familiar with his home country, as he understands he should, but that’s about the extent of his travels. He’s accompanied his father from time to time as educational trips overseas but those are few and far between – not that his father travels much himself. Genbu always stated that Suzaku was too young, or he needed to focus on his studies, or he’d be too busy… As Suzaku has gotten older, he’s wondered if those are all just excuses. He can understand his father being cautious, but at some point it feels less like he’s protecting Suzaku and more like he might be ashamed…

After all, now that Suzaku is older and has finished his grade-school studies, he’s still stuck in a classroom instead of getting his feet wet.

‘I’ll be visiting Nunnally and Rolo in the fall for their birthday; perhaps you could come with me then, for a bit.’

‘Ah, yes! October, isn’t it?’

‘Correct. She’ll be turning 18 this year. An official adult in Britannia.’

‘…Wow. So fast?’

‘Yes, it’s troubling.’ Lelouch sighs, wearily and heart-broken. ‘Mother has done well with deterring any marriage proposals and the like while we were young, but once we’re old enough she stops being that shield.’

‘Marriage proposals?’ Suzaku asks with a small frown. ‘You’ve gotten them?’

Lelouch nods. ‘She’s always let us make our own choices. Nunnally is smart and strong just like mother, but I worry about the  _reprobates_  that will be after her. It’s easy for me to say no, but I’m always concerned she’s too nice…’

‘Have  _you_  received many proposals?’

‘Hm?’ Lelouch’s eyebrow lifts at Suzaku. ‘Oh, yes. You’d think they’d give up because I always reject them, but no.’ He waves off the notion as if it were an annoying insect buzzing around his face. ‘It’s ironic since so many of them have looked down on my mother for being a commoner and yet they hop on her children like steps on the ladder.  _Disgusting!_ ’

It’s understandable that Lelouch would get proposals but the thought has never struck Suzaku’s mind. Their relationship as lovers might still be young, but they’ve known each other for most of their lives. It feels as though, for as long as Suzaku can remember, it’s always been him and Lelouch – but it remains true that this western prince sprouted from a place virtually unknown to Suzaku. He knows the  _country_ , of course, the entertainment and celebrities, the politics and the relationship shared between it and Japan, but… that’s only outsider knowledge. The fact is that there’s a side of Lelouch’s life that Suzaku doesn’t know.

‘What’s with that expression?’ Lelouch asks, rather – and rarely – clueless.

‘I just… didn’t know… that you get proposals.’

Lelouch arcs an eyebrow. ‘So?’

Suzaku’s face purses with wry pity – Lelouch always says Suzaku is an idiot, but  _he’s_  the one who’s dense when it comes to  _this_.

‘I guess it bothers me.’

‘You  _guess_?’ Lelouch dubiously echoes. ‘You shouldn’t be bothered. I have you. I don’t want anyone else and I never will.’ Suzaku snickers and it draws a sharp slice of Lelouch’s violets over him. ‘What?’

‘N-Nothing.’ Suzaku hides his amusement behind his hand while Lelouch huffs and drinks more tea.

True enough, Lelouch can be oblivious about romance and the emotions of others, but that also means he’s capable of delivering almost-absentminded lines of affection like he just did. To Lelouch such a statement isn’t romantic it’s just  _fact_. He’s a…  _pragmatic_  type of romantic.

And Suzaku loves that about him.

‘I feel the same.’

Lelouch scoffs. “Of course.”

Even so…

The feeling was mutual before they secretly consummated it. While it  _might_  be true that Lelouch’s older brother, Clovis,  _might_  have been the one who pushed the two boys into the snowball of their relationship – not that Lelouch ever likes to give his “ _foppish and delusional_ ” brother any credit – it was Lelouch that made the first  _actual_  move. Clovis had been visiting with Lady Marianne way back when and had quite  _flippantly_  noted how much in love the two younger boys were after watching them interact. Lelouch had sputtered indignantly in a way Suzaku had never seen from his eloquent friend but he didn’t deny it – Suzaku, on the other hand, could only resort to a fevered blush. Thanks or not to Clovis, Lelouch and Suzaku trudged through a short-lived awkwardness before Lelouch plunged in with all his  _authority_  during one of their friend’s outrageous campus games involving love and trading heart-shaped hats. He nabbed Suzaku’s hat as per the rules but also offered his own for Suzaku to choose – take Lelouch’s hat for romance… or reclaim his for no romance. Suzaku chose to trade hats, of course.

And yes, that was pretty much Lelouch’s  _confession_.

Suzaku had laughed giddily at the time, charmed to death by the prince who lacked romantic charm.

It was true for quite some time that Suzaku didn’t have friends. His interactions were always very limited when he was young, which is partly how he and Lelouch became so acquainted. Because of the distance between Britannia and Japan had been shrinking, and perhaps because Genbu recognized his son’s need to socialize, Lelouch became a regular in the first place. They met as children and, after breaking some barriers inscribed to them from ignorance and unfamiliarity with each others’ cultures by way of some sticks and stones, they became the best of friends as if they had never been anything else. It isn’t unfair to say that it’s all thanks to the Knightmares. Because Japan and Britannia began collaborating, a research facility was built in a naval port allowed to Britannia by the Japanese Emperor and it was none other than Lelouch’s mother who was a notable pilot and once a distinguished Knight of the Round Table. Even after becoming an empress and mother, she continued to dedicate some of her time living and working in Japan and often brought her children along with her.

At the same time, however, the  _vi Britannias_  didn’t  _officially_  live here in this country and the time spent was typically only seasonal. For entire summers and sometimes winters for many years Suzaku had Lelouch to himself, but that was it. When the science and technology wasn’t as fruitful, reached a frustrating plateau or she wasn’t needed, however, the visits decreased and nearly ceased. The two princes didn’t see each other for much of their middle years until Lelouch decided to study in Japan during high school. Through some miracle, Suzaku was able to convince his father to allow him to attend the same academy – since it was a very  _prestigious_  and  _celebrated_  school – and he was soon back into that natural beat with his childhood friend.

The rest is history.

Suzaku used to wonder, at first, often when his mind was left alone after Lelouch returned home, just why he deserves  _this_. If Lelouch deserves something better – or simply something more  _appropriate_. A smart and charming girl he can openly kiss. Not a clumsy, dim boy he has to hide with in the shadows. Not a relationship that’s still scorned and misunderstood by much of the world.

But, these are old thoughts creeping up from Suzaku’s insecurities like weeds. Lelouch’s feelings have been made clear – and not only by the seemingly offhanded utterances about his fondness for being in Japan, for loathing his overgrown family, his strong distrust and cynicism for the human race… Lelouch is an elegant and stunning flower that has surrounded itself by a thicket of thorns. Somehow, Suzaku became the only outsider allowed to reach him, and now he’s unable to leave – not that he wants to. Suzaku only fears he might be forcibly plucked from Lelouch’s side and torn to red, bloody ribbons as a result.

But, Suzaku tries to not think about that…

Especially when this proud flower is standing tall and beautiful right next to him rather than on the other side of the world.

Also, Lelouch’s hand  _might_  be currently groping up Suzaku’s thigh…

It makes Suzaku smile a stupid, silly grin as his body fills with a fluttering heat that only Lelouch can make him feel.

The reality also exists that Lelouch has become much more traveled over the years and met more people than Suzaku, and yet, he always finds his way back to Japan and its Prince. To a place he likes to call home.

To a place that has  _become_  home.

•-

-•

A couple of uneventful days crawl by as Lelouch settles himself into his new home. Suzaku attends his studies as per usual thinking of this new chapter in their lives all the while. Even the little joys like phone chats and texts are abundant as they now share the same time zone. Truly, Suzaku’s body has dissolved into air and concentrating isn’t common amongst the clouds – which has earned him some deserved-scolding from his tutors and Tohdoh – but he tries to keep his feet on the ground.

The effervescent smile on his face is harder to tame.

But, perhaps, an avoidable yank on his ankles is what is needed to ground him.

Suzaku is just finishing some work for his subject of the day, arithmetic, when he’s called to his father’s office…

It isn’t strange for Suzaku to be summoned to his father’s private study as it’s practically the Emperor’s home within a home, it’s just not that common for them to meet face-to-face. Suzaku can’t even remember the last time he’s met with his father outside this office let alone outside of a  _meeting_.

He walks along the raised wooden pathway into his father’s office that’s flanked by indoor flowerbeds and covered by a skylight of equal-length to the walkway. The dirt is moist and pungent in Suzaku’s nose – recently watered, he gathers – and the small shrubs and a trees planted in a straight line as if in procession have been trimmed since the last time he saw them…

The flaming, red circle on a crisp sheet of white is the first thing that scalds Suzaku’s eyes. It hangs vertically, loud and proud on the wall behind a bulky, dark wood desk, and as such behind the Emperor himself. Beside it in modest shadow boxes are the medals his father received during his military service while some old relics of the past lie and old banners hang in a viewing case on the other side – all of which Suzaku was never allowed to touch. The room itself is large and uncluttered, few furniture other than his father’s desk and a couple of chairs for visitors. The floors are polished wood and the walls are coated in a muted earthy sponging, decorated sparsely with reprints of important government documents along with aging portraits – some of former royalty or military men and the like. Their black, sleek frames and glass are shinning due to the windowed corners of the back wall behind his father, one of which has a cushioned chair and table for outside viewing of a garden – but Suzaku has never seen his father use it. The red velvet drapes are pulled back by gold cording but at night a single desk lamp and old wall-lanterns illuminate what’s important and nothing else.

His Majesty Genbu is a tall, stout man of his middle ages whose brown hair has thinned and turned to ash but his brown eyes are still sharp – while Suzaku’s resemblance is strongly inherited from his father’s features, his eyes were borrowed (or perhaps  _taken_ ) from his mother, as even Kaguya, Suzaku’s cousin from his mother’s side, also has green eyes. His father is stuffed into a solid steel-blue kimono with a white undershirt, starchy and tightly fastened despite the summer heat and his barrel chest. Although Tohdoh has spoken of the Emperor’s physical prowess, it’s been resigned with all his years bunkered behind this very desk.

Suzaku feels the heat of the sun glaring down on his back – but not from any windows – as he stands before his father, waiting to be acknowledged. He silently watches his father’s thick fingers slide a manila folder to the edge of the desk near him and swiftly return to scribbling a fountain pen to the quiet, soft tune of crisp classical music playing from his computer.

“Suzaku,” Genbu addresses his son with a formal coating, not lifting his eyes from documents at the tip of his pen. “Take this. I want you to familiarize yourself.”

Suzaku unclasps his hands from behind his back to take that same folder his father slid. He doesn’t sit as he opens it, because he wasn’t told to (why should he, for a brief visit?), and finds confusion as he flips a few of the pages inside it.

“…I don’t understand.”

“You will become an adult very soon – legally speaking. I realize you are still young, but this will give you plenty of time to seriously consider your options.”

“…Options?”

At this, his father’s sharp eyes pin to Suzaku and seem to deflate his chest. “I’ve already chosen to belay this more than perhaps I should have, but I believed you should become of age before even stepping into it. You’ve matured, and that’s important, but this is equally important. I wasn’t able to choose for myself but… it was your mother’s request that you be given a choice.”

Suzaku’s heart leaps to his throat at the mention of his mother, unable to speak or even swallow for a moment. The Emperor never speaks of his late wife. So much so that Suzaku knows very little about her.

Pensiveness tightens his lips and eyes as he closes the folder. “…How much time do I have?”

The Emperor seems to hum on that a bit, pen swiveling. “It’s not a matter of urgency, but… don’t be too casual about it.”

Just another  _assignment?_

One that demands Suzaku to be proactive?

“…Are these my only ‘options’?”

“They are recommended.”—in other words, they already have the Emperor’s  _approval_.

Suzaku wants to speak more, to ask questions, to just converse –  _communicate_  – with his father, but he isn’t sure his voice can be heard over the scratching of that pen or that it won’t evaporate in the blistering sun being eclipsed by his father’s head.

All Suzaku can think of are violet eyes.

“…I understand.”

“Good.” The finality in his voice hits Suzaku like a hammer—no, a bomb. Something that fell from nowhere and is still ringing in Suzaku’s ears even after he’s dismissed from behind a pile of papers and red sun. “That is all.”

•-•

His feet are no longer light as he shuffles from the interior of the palace to the veranda outlining (caging) his entire world. Prim and trim topiaries and bushes. Neatly crafted rock gardens. Pampered blooms of flowers from bushes to tree blossoms—

It all pales to the colourful life outside these walls.

Like the gardens touched by the green thumb of Lelouch’s mother. Suzaku’s father could never be bothered to spare the thought about the pointless aesthetics of flowers. It’s always been the same. Suzaku’s always had the same view. Well-cared for but overlooked. Not like when he met Lelouch and—

His mobile is already pressed against his ear as he stands on the gravel path cutting through a large round of short-cut grass surrounded by sand and rocks. The sky above him is gray but it has yet to rain.

‘How is your head?’ That soothingly deep and placid voice floods Suzaku’s skull.

“…What?”

‘You had your math studies today, didn’t you? You’ve always been terrible at math.’

A joke.

But Suzaku doesn’t feel like laughing.

‘…Lelouch…’ Suzaku quietly beckons, gravity strong on the slim folder slipping in the grip of his fingers. ‘Would you… like to have dinner at the palace with me tonight?’

‘Dinner?’

‘U-uh, that is—you’re probably busy. I shouldn’t have—’

‘I’ll be there.’

Suzaku swallows the assertive answer but it doesn’t seem to make him any lighter.

Not like before he visited his father.

And he wishes he wasn’t so nervous.

Or that he didn’t feel so out of place.


	2. Chapter 2

_From the west to the east, I have flown to be near you_

_I have come all this way to be close, to be here with you_

_And now, all my heart I will lay down precisely at your feet_

-•-

Land of the Rising Son

Part 2

It's late evening when Lelouch arrives for dinner.

He's donned in a slim, dark sepia three piece suit with a white shirt and yellow tie – always dressed to impress, this one, but Suzaku likes it. Lelouch has that  _refined_  sense about him that sometimes leads his wardrobe to be flaunted even in such a casual setting as this. Suzaku has already bathed and is wearing a simple gray  _yukata_  printed with white dot-lined squares – not that he'd be dolled-up otherwise.

"Good evening, Your Highness Lelouch." Suzaku's trusty guardian, wearing a solid navy-blue kimono, is the first for greetings, standing as the prince and his own trusted guardian enter the sitting room. "Sir Gottwald."

"We are honored to have you." says a short-haired woman beside him, wearing a maroon kimono scattered with soft pink cherry blossoms.

"Ah, good evening. Glad to see you could join us this time, Tohdoh." Lelouch smiles while the Knight silently dips his head to not speak over his master. "And, Chiba, it's been a while." He smiles graciously and half bows to her like a  _true_  gentlemen. "Good to see you again."

"Same to you, Your Highness." She briefly looks him up and down,  _and up_ , with a peculiar smile. "You've gotten so much taller. You and Suzaku were the same when I last saw you."

"That was some time ago," Lelouch easily agrees with way too much pride. "Guess our birthday boy stopped a bit short, hm?"

Suzaku maintains a plain line in his lips – he doesn't care about either his or Lelouch's height and he's not sure what it matters. They had been roughly the same as children and during high school, but apparently Lelouch hit a growth spurt since graduation a year ago while Suzaku stopped pretty much altogether. Lelouch is more than half a head or so above Suzaku now but he hasn't gotten any taller since they last met in winter so he must've hit his peak.

"How about you? You look well."

"Oh, well, thank you." Chiba says with the slightest of a blush and a soft smile after a glance at Tohdoh.

"Still keeping that husband of yours line, eh?" Lelouch says to her with mock subtlety and a head tilted in Tohdoh's direction.

"I'd like to think he'd fall apart without me." She laughs quietly at that while Tohdoh merely smiles.

"I'm sure he would." Lelouch smirks. "—Ah, where are my manners? I'm sorry I'm a little late. It seems the weather is finally acting up. There was a bit of traffic. Isn't that right, Jeremiah?"

"Yes, Your Highness." He looks a bit awkward, as he probably wasn't expecting to join in the feast – even if he is dressed in the more casual clothing of a dark, midnight-blue suit and white shirt, no tie. He's usually dressed in his more formal Knight uniform.

"No, please. I'm just glad you could make it at such short notice." Suzaku says with an overbearingly apologetic overtone as he leads them to the conjoined, western-style dining room.

Lelouch waves it off. "The luxuries of living close by mean I can dine with you at any time."

"Yes…" Suzaku is sheepish – but this guilt, he can't tell where it's springing from within him. "But I hope this isn't interrupting anything for you."

Lelouch gives Suzaku a brief stare – silent chastisement for continuing on with this act. "Like I said, it's no problem. I was just thinking of taking a break, anyway."

Soon enough they're seating themselves around a long, rectangular table and the servants quickly scurry in and out with steaming bowls of a light soup for the first course and fresh drinks – a few bodies silently remain nearby for future needs. Suzaku and Lelouch are across from each other with Tohdoh, Chiba and Jeremiah sitting beside them, respectively. Only the Emperor sits at the head of the table.

(If he ever bothered to show up.)

"Suzaku tells me you've begun your move here?" Tohdoh asks before swallowing a salty slurp of broth.

"Yes. Many of my belongings have arrived late, so I've been busy settling in."

"If I may ask, why the move?"

Lelouch's lips quirk with something coy. "You really don't have to be so formal with me, Tohdoh. After all, you've known me since I was a child."

"You're right. Old habit." Tohdoh glances at Suzaku's quiet stirring. "Is there any particular reason you've decided to live here?"

Lelouch nods, sipping a red wine Suzaku requested to be available because he knows Lelouch likes it. "I've spent much of my time here, so it seems logical. Most of the royal family lives in the capital, so I suppose I'm being a bit rebellious."

"Rebellious?" Tohdoh grins very lightly.

Lelouch shrugs. "I might also be heading the research facility."

"You're the new director of the entire facility?" Chiba asks, amazed, over the light clanking of silverware.

"Might as well be productive while I'm here." The western prince slyly smiles.

"I see." Tohdoh says, a note of cheerfulness in his voice. "Congratulations are in order, then."

"I appreciate that, but it's not necessary."

Tohdoh nods and looks to Suzaku. "It will be nice to have such a close friend live so near to you, now."

Suzaku simpers. "Yes… It'll be like when I was schooling at the academy."

Lelouch… well, he's being somewhat honest. He came to Japan, to Tokyo, to be closer to Suzaku, but he needed a more  _official_  and less private reason than that. It's appropriate, though. He opted out of continuing his education with college or anything else of the sort. He spent some time traveling with a few of his siblings, even dabbled with something military based for a while before ultimately dropping everything – quite recently. He dislikes politics, dislikes his relatives and has always enjoyed the time spent with his mother here in Japan around the thrumming of knightmares and buzzing of summer cicadas with Suzaku. It's very fitting even if he can't personally operate them at more than a basic level.

As far as anyone else is concerned, this is an adequate answer.

"Speaking of which, the old club says they want to see you." Lelouch notes before swallowing some soup.

"It has been some time since I last saw them." Suzaku says in a glum tone.

"I know, you've been the hard-working student here at home. Don't worry, it'll all fall together. Summer holidays are soon."

Suzaku isn't staying at the palace with private tutors because he  _wants_  to. His father wanted it. Suzaku would've liked to spend time abroad, learning in another land – maybe even with Lelouch – but his father didn't like the idea. He wants Suzaku to learn what's  _important_ , and that's about ruling the country. Even so, Suzaku doesn't understand why he hasn't already started… Instead he's sitting in lessons and listening to tutors drone on about the more nitty-gritty backbone of everything involving Japan rather than learning at his father's feet with his hands and eyes – which is the best way Suzaku learns anything.

"I'm sure it can be arranged if you'd like to see your friends." Tohdoh says, almost sounding like he's chiding Suzaku for not mentioning it sooner.

"No, it's fine. I still keep in touch with them, meeting just isn't always easy."

"That's how it is." Lelouch coolly agrees after patting his lips with a napkin. "Even I haven't met up with them in some time."

Indeed most of his old school chums have gone along their own way. Even so, many of them have remained in the country. Rivalz Cardemonde stayed in Japan to make a career in auto-mechanics, since he was always so fond of tinkering with his motorbike – he was also very fond of their  _club president_  and not so much his father back home. Nina Einstein was picked up by the Britannian military – according to Lelouch, she's found her place at the same facility he runs – and that's most Suzaku has heard. She's always been too shy to socialize. Shirley Fenette also decided to remain in Japan even after her father went back to Britannia once his naval tour ended; she is currently pursuing a very promising professional swimming career. Kallen Stadtfeld joined the Japanese military after graduation and neither Suzaku nor anyone has heard from her since… He at least knows she's still  _alive_  in whatever it is she's doing…

"Do you still talk to them?" Suzaku asks.

"Milly, of course. Just about the only friend in the press I have." The Ashfords, who own the academy Suzaku and Lelouch went to as well as some old prototype knightmares, are also family friends of Lelouch's mother, so he and Milly are practically siblings.

Suzaku envies that.

"I know. It's… hard to believe." As Suzaku understood it, Milly was supposed to be the new headmaster of Ashford academy, but she chose her own route by becoming a reporter in Tokyo – a pretty popular one, at that. "She's done very well for herself."

Suzaku envies that, too.

"Indeed. Prying into the lives of others and then sharing what she finds with as many people possible – it's her dream occupation." Lelouch agrees with a bitter curl on his lips. "She was very cross when she heard you visited me recently and I didn't inform her."

"She hasn't said anything to me, though."

She always did like harassing Lelouch and  _any_  reason she can find to do it is good enough.

(And she of course knows nothing about Suzaku and Lelouch's romantic relationship, nor do any of their friends.)

"At any rate, I'm sure Milly has big plans for your birthday." Lelouch says and not sounding particularly pleased about it. "Because the national festival doesn't include her."

The lives of the Japanese royal family are mostly private but that doesn't mean they lack a certain celebrity status. The people know Suzaku and adore him as they do his father, which means they'll celebrate this important birthday with him. It will largely be treated as a national holiday in typical festival style with some honoring events in place like a fireworks show and possible parade.

A bit flashy, but Suzaku is hardly one to dissuade the enthusiasm of others.

"Here's hoping she won't end up like the giant pizza fiasco." Suzaku feels himself smile.

"…Giant pizza?" Chiba asks curiously.

"Yes. It's quite a story…" Lelouch smiles, too, despite Suzaku remembering him to be quite frazzled during the whole event.

•-•

As the conversation flows onto the specifics of Suzaku's birthday festival and trickling into the less climactic topics of the news and day-to-day living, Suzaku notices how easily and effortless it is. Lelouch can sit here with Tohdoh and Chiba and talk as if they do so every evening during dinner.

Like he belongs here.

As if they, altogether, make a  _complete_  family.

(That would mean Tohdoh and Chiba are Suzaku's…?)

It pleases Suzaku immensely and reminds him of the airy way Lelouch can make him feel, but…

Right now Suzaku can't help but secretly wish, for once, that Tohdoh hadn't decided to have dinner with him.

•-•

The jacket of Lelouch's suit is folded over the round back of a wooden-framed armchair in Suzaku's private quarters as he sits with said prince on the adjacent couch. The room is sparse but warm with polished, antique wooden furniture that's always stood inside the palace walls – some gifts from important people from faraway places, most aren't – and aglow with shaded lanterns mounted throughout the palace walls. Once used with oil, the lanterns have been outfitted with an electrical dimmer which Suzaku has set to something low and candle-like.

'I'm sorry about dinner.' Suzaku says as he pours coffee into a delicate china cup and hands it to Lelouch beside him. 'I thought we would be alone.'

'Don't worry yourself about it.' Lelouch easily responds with a smile and a sip – likes his black. 'Doesn't he usually dine with you?'

'Yes… but I thought he was busy.' Tohdoh has often taken the liberty to share meals with Suzaku – although he's an uncle, he's  _always_  acted as a second father.

(One that's not too busy or too critical for Suzaku.)

'No harm done.' Lelouch shrugs, setting his drink down on the table. 'We're alone now.'

True enough.

They could've had a quiet drink in one of the palace's many tearooms, but, Suzaku wanted absolute privacy. Although he's grown up in these same rooms since he was a child, it's always felt cozier when Lelouch is with him.

Tohdoh, Chiba and Jeremiah are currently keeping each other company – not the first time for such a thing. Lelouch had made a joke about Jeremiah missing Tohdoh's company, but the truth is that they've gotten along well after Sir Gottwald became Lelouch's knight during high school. As Suzaku and Lelouch often spent time together, so did Tohdoh and Jeremiah – he can be a bit tight-lipped around Lelouch, but Jeremiah can also be quite the social butterfly.

'…Yes.' Suzaku says after a pause, gazing at Lelouch with a tender smile. 'We are. How long can you stay?'

Lelouch's eyebrow lifts and he glances at the rain-dipped glass of the window seat overlooking a small private garden and outdoor bath to Suzaku's room. A few potted plants stand tall and healthy near it, their perky leaves glimmering with a happy green – gifts from Lelouch's mother.

'…Considering the rain, I could stay a while. In fact, I think I  _should_  stay a while.'

Suzaku's smile turns coy as Lelouch's arm stretches out on the back of the sofa behind him – rain is a nice excuse…

The taste of their meal has been subdued from their mouths by after-dinner mints that tingle sweetly on Suzaku's tongue as Lelouch delves deeply into his mouth, held in place by a gripping hand from that suave, couch-resting arm. Fingers sift in his brown hair as another touches his neck with flirtatious fingers that waste little time in slipping downward to skim over his collar bone. A soft and whispery moan slides through Suzaku's nose as cool fingertips skate down his chest and teasingly sweep over his budding nipple. He shudders pleasantly and pulls down the shoulder of his yukata to encourage Lelouch – which it does. He parts from Suzaku's lips to suck an exposed neck while his fingers rub and pinch the tense little nub and Suzaku is like butter as he's pressed against the couch. Even with so little touching and kissing Suzaku thinks his skin might be melting and bubbling from his bones as Lelouch nibbles at his flesh before leading his tongue down to his diligent digits. Suzaku's breath hitches and he bites his bent finger when a wet swipe over his nipple bridges to gentle sucking and—

"Let's move to the bed." Suzaku sort-of suddenly and quickly murmurs, too hot and bothered to see where Lelouch was going to take this.

'You have lessons with Tohdoh tomorrow, don't you?' Lelouch reels back entirely to look Suzaku in the eye with genuine concern cutting through his foggy desire with  _annoying_  clarity.

He is right –  _of_   _course_. Tomorrow is the physical portion of Suzaku's education; self-defense, basic exercise and such, but—

"It's fine. At this point it's more about staying sharp and in shape rather than anything else. Besides…" Suzaku stands up tall from the couch and unties his belt, letting his yukata spill off his straight, confident spine—"I want you inside me."—and drops his shorts with a tug as he pulls on a sultry smirk. "Right now."

A thick glaze of lechery seeps over Lelouch's face, pouring into a smirk on his lips but burning in his eyes.

'You are such a  _naughty_  boy.' Lelouch's words steam off his tongue as he rises to his feet and reaches for Suzaku's body less like he's in a trance and more like he's been awakened.

The eastern prince isn't accustomed to being so… blunt, but he still surprised even himself. He likes the spark he's lit in Lelouch as those hands grab him (—but he doesn't like the flashes of his father that ice his blood). Suzaku is scooped into Lelouch's arms as they trample to the bedroom, hands shamelessly groping the firm, ample masses of his rear while their lips never part. Even as Suzaku blindly struggles to backwardly slide open the paper door to his bed their kissing link isn't broken – Lelouch's hands don't care to help, either. Although, it isn't the same sloppy eagerness of their first engagement, it's just the pure desire to savor that's melding their mouths together until they arrive at the low-set bed. Suzaku sits down to get to work on Lelouch's pants and catch his breath, letting the suit-clad man worry about all those bothersome buttons of his vest and shirt he chose to wear. Suzaku's nimble fingers quickly undo the brown leather belt and continue on to pop the button and pull the zipper of Lelouch's fly. He can't resist smoothing his hands over the bulge that immediately greets him upon opening the linen slacks and indulges himself instead of wrenching it all to the floor as Lelouch wedges off his shoes. The musky scent of arousal is whisking into Suzaku's nose as he lightly fondles Lelouch as if teasing both of them. He nuzzles the growth as Lelouch's vest hits the floor, dragging his tongue along its shape over the thin material of honey-brown, plaid shorts – matching the outside colour scheme, of course – which causes the slacks to plop on the floor with a metal  _thunk_  from the belt. Suzaku is beginning to suck through Lelouch's underwear at the stiffening thickness when fingers thread tightly into his wild mane and yank his head back so his green eyes look up at Lelouch; a halo glowing around him from a lantern high on the wall behind him.

'You said you wanted me  _inside_  you, but  _where?_ ' A devilish smirk sears across the western prince's lips from one corner to the other. " _Show_  me."

Suzaku pins his mouth into a wickedly wanton grin as he pulls himself backwards across the quilted bed covering and lets his wide-open legs speak for themselves. Acceptable in the lustful gleam of Lelouch's eyes, he crawls onto the bed after the tawdry brunet – not before yanking off his socks – with an open shirt and loose tie. Suzaku's hands smooth up the snowy plain of Lelouch's chest as he docks between spreading knees, moaning contently into the kiss that pushes him against the mattress. He revels in the soft texture of Lelouch's skin (—forgetting the feeling of that manila folder in his grip—) as he slides his palms under the white cotton shirt while the older man's fingers bring awareness to every place they touch. Suzaku's hands fist the collar of Lelouch's shirt when he slinks downward, lips hatching small blisters as he kisses from neck to chest – Lelouch never neglects to nurture Suzaku's nipples. He tamely slides his tongue around each one, carefully circling and closing his lips to suck as his fingertips glide up and down the thigh Suzaku presses against him. The Japanese gent squirms a bit under these teasing touches and nips that wade more and more heat to the fire below his hips that's burning through his willingness to  _play_.

"Lelouch…" Suzaku murmurs with a tug of Lelouch's shirt.

'Now,  _now_. You rushed me before.' Lelouch reprimands as he rises enough to look down at the emeralds lost under the smoke of lust, his voice like boiled velvet across Suzaku's skin. 'This time I want to  _enjoy_  myself so you have to behave.' Lelouch's smirk is a sinister prickle at the back of Suzaku's neck as he lingers with a breath between their lips. 'Or I'll get up, get dressed, leave the palace, drive away and leave you here  _all_   _alone_  to satisfy yourself.' Such a menacing threat could simmer seductively only from  _Lelouch's_  lips and still somehow sound sincere – and Suzaku, he's already too far gone to chance it.

"I'll… behave." Not that Suzaku is one to push boundaries.

"Good boy." Lelouch's words nearly hiss into Suzaku's ears like a twisting serpent as he removes the loop of his tie from his neck, and yet, it isn't a predatory pleasure that smolders Lelouch's face. His proud, noble countenance is softened by the warm smile that coils his lips instead and he tenderly presses them to Suzaku's forehead, tip of the nose and mouth. These soft kisses are like a breeze of flower petals that brush against Suzaku's skin. It's the sacred affection from the flower guarded by thorns, and instantly Suzaku understands what is communicated.

( _I love you._ )

Suzaku is in a bit of a daze by the feather kisses  _lovingly_  placed upon him as he wordlessly watches Lelouch shed his shirt and free his  _healthy_   _length_  from his shorts—

But a quick twist in his body at the sight of Lelouch's bare body is enough to  _pang_  the spring of his  _arousal_. Lelouch is so often dressed to the hilt that to see him stripped down is like Suzaku's eyes are bathing in decadence, even if the Britannian has very little beefing up his skeleton. In fact, Suzaku adores how slim the Britannian is. Lelouch's long body is neither toned nor flabby but bony and his skin is unmarred like a  _prince's_  should be. Suzaku has his share of scars, most lessons from childhood, but not Lelouch. He was always careful. They're opposite in nearly every way except for their genders.

…And their mutual  _fondness_  for such gender.

When Lelouch's lips get back to work they begin to singe more hotly than any petal. Suzaku doesn't know why he feels himself running hotter than he usually would with Lelouch, but he stares up at the ceiling as lips stamp down his body and he tries to not think about it (—not about his father's disapproving stare hovering over him—) as his leg is pushed against the bed like a door on a hinge. When Lelouch's teeth and tongue feature themselves on the upper part of Suzaku's inner thigh, near the bend of his leg, he gasps and reflexively clenches his fingers into soft, black tresses. His palms are wet and his cheeks are red as Lelouch noisily sucks his skin, revisiting a favored marking place that always stammers Suzaku's breathing – because of a hot, wet mouth so close to his  _arousal,_  and yet not close enough… Lelouch proceeds with the teasing further by sliding his tongue up Suzaku's thigh as he lifts it, licking all the way up to the knee and biting with a roguish twinkle in his vibrant violet eyes. A solid moment settles between their gazes that seems to paint darker across Suzaku's cheeks – wondering if there's  _something_  he should be doing – until Lelouch's smirk orders Suzaku onto his knees with a pushing cross of Suzaku's leg. The brunet is reluctant – because more than just getting pleasure, he wants to see Lelouch's face.  _But_ , he made a vow to behave, so…

Resting on his elbows with hands fisted near his face, Suzaku damns the blush practically staining the patch-work quilt underneath him as he feels Lelouch's silky hands groping his newly elevated behind. He's not embarrassed, though. He was just hoping for something more  _romantic_. This position isn't that; but, his unease is easily put to rest by the sensuous massaging of his flesh and he shuts his eyes (—on everything he's trying to ignore). Lelouch's palms press slow circles into Suzaku's cushy buttocks in a soothing and indulgent rhythm before he takes a generous bite on one fleshy cheek. Those teeth chomp Suzaku into a startled flinch and a stifled giggle scuttles out of his mouth – because Lelouch didn't  _really_  just do that, did he? – as he's spread apart and—

Suzaku's entire body stiffens when Lelouch's tongue drags over his entrance, rippling a noticeable tremor down his spine that shovels his nose into the bed. His mouth is left to gasp in the open as Lelouch's fluid tongue treats Suzaku's sensitive area like hard candy on a stick. He laps at Suzaku with diligent strokes of his tongue, flattening and needling to the inherently directional moans streaming from his partner's throat. It's a mewling melody that somehow claws at the air like Suzaku's fingers at the beddings as he's thoroughly licked by an avid tongue until fingers suddenly touch his length. His body jerks as they curl around his hardness and he bites off his moaning by sinking his teeth into the quilt when a cry shatters from his mouth. Suzaku can't hold it for long, however, as his breathing is too shallow and soon enough he hears the sounds of his own pleasure-dipped voice playfully pouncing the room. He can barely be still let alone censor himself as Lelouch's hand pumps with the firm sweeping of his tongue – when a duet of fingers decide to join the symphony, with a slick slip into him, Suzaku nearly humps the air. He pushes backwards instead, an action of needy insistence as Lelouch pokes, licks and tugs him deeper into the dark sangria of excitement pooling in his face. Lelouch doesn't spurn this reaction but he does replace his tongue entirely with his fingers, sliding and rubbing them more roughly than when he started with a cool lubricant. It fills Suzaku with blooms of pleasure that sound much whiner in his ears than they feel in his chest, and soon enough the syllables of Lelouch's name are disjointed in the wisps of his calls. Perhaps taking this it as a warning sign, the fingers that were teasing his entrance are in turn replaced by something wet and blunt that presses—

"Wa-Wait!" Suzaku withdraws in a startling sense of urgency like a scrambling mouse and he whips Lelouch with surprise as he flips himself onto his back and spreads his legs.

Lelouch is still holding himself in a readying position as he looks down at Suzaku's  _presentation_  with raised eyebrows, seemingly chasing after  _what_  exactly just happened. But then, with a slight and unruffled tilt of his head, he  _resumes_  procedures. Suzaku's hindquarters are lifted off the bed just enough for Lelouch to spoon support against him and align them with focused eyes. The brunet bites his bottom lip as Lelouch partially pushes into him and then pulls out, making Suzaku whine on purpose.

Lelouch's chuckle is an undeniable roll of toothy arrogance over Suzaku's skin. 'I said I was going to enjoy myself, didn't I?'

Suzaku's eyes are fogged and a little narrowed at the man above him as his hand clasps to the wet fringe over his forehead. He isn't angry or exactly annoyed, but Lelouch is much too  _pleased_  about this. Sure, Suzaku did rush Lelouch a little before, but it's not as though Lelouch hasn't done the same in the past because he has to race against his stamina. So it's not like  _Lelouch_  is the innocent one here—

'Don't make that face.' Lelouch's mocking coo quickly unspools into a lewdness that guiltlessly twines around and knots Suzaku. ' _You_  will enjoy it, too…"

Suzaku's face purses through a gut-grunt and his clenched fingers pull on his hair as Lelouch persists with his slow-and-steady approach. Lelouch doesn't tease him by fully leaving again but his body is mild as it tapers into measured rocks against Suzaku. He grasps Lelouch's shoulder and squeezes with every eased push into him, feeling his voice writhe in his throat as he stares up at Lelouch's smirk – which is so not romantic. Suzaku thinks about pinching Lelouch's nose as he continues to pull his own hair through these gradual thrusts that begin to strengthen but only openly moans when Lelouch buries himself more deeply and he reflexively snaps his legs around the prince between them. Lelouch laughs, again quite unromantic, but immediately amends with a kiss. He leans fully into Suzaku's mouth as he thrusts faster, sliding his tongue against Suzaku's and the creamy moans that coat the air as he pecks down to Suzaku's neck. Lips press moistly but don't mark the more  _public_  areas of Suzaku's neck as he moves with more vigor that curls the toes and back of the boy beneath him.

Not quite able or willing to curse Lelouch's  _infallible_  correctness, Suzaku surrenders easily into the smooth flow of the Britannian's energy with  _enjoyment_  for the building layers of pleasure that infuse his body. He's still grappling with his hair as Lelouch's hips are faster to return, filling him with stretching sounds that drift airily from his nose as his body undulates obediently with his partner's. Suzaku is completely compliant with his legs hooked in Lelouch's arms as said wisteria-eyed man thrusts deeply and carefully nibbles along a collar bone. Maybe because the way the Japanese prince arches his back as if with invitation, Lelouch mouths pointed pink nipples and thicken the splotch of cerise on Suzaku's face. Said man clenches his fingers in his moist, earthy hair as a tongue wiggles around one of his tense nubs, a gratified mewl somewhat squeaking from his throat as Lelouch switches to the other. He pants and moans as their bodies wave with pleasure, his desperate clutch on Lelouch's shoulder slipping as his wet nipples are left to vulnerably tighten harder in the air when a tongue slides across his bottom lip. Suzaku whines as Lelouch sucks his lip, grasping a clump of ebony hair at the nape and flapping his own tongue at the lips that captured his. Lelouch's tongue slithers out to touch it and dips right into Suzaku's mouth and they share saliva in the most slopping way possible.

It isn't too long before Lelouch's pace is hastened significantly – after all, it's only a matter of time before his endurance runs empty – and they're hips are moving with perfection. Suzaku has traded pulling his hair to scratching and twisting the quilt under them as well as Lelouch's shoulder as his body is unleashed from his brain and lungs. His breath is shallow and rapid as he jostles with Lelouch (his one and only), their sweaty bodies rushed in a fast sway that snaps the bed coils. Suzaku listens to the tortured creaking of his own bed as he hears his voice dissolve more and more into the sweltering air around them. He can no longer find his breath in their smog of sex, not as his body is too spastic against the thorough thrashing of Lelouch's. Suzaku is strangling the quilt to keep himself from flying off into the clouds as rolls of torrid ecstasy pummel him like a never-ending landslide, and he looks up a bit helplessly at his lover as his head jumbles…

Lelouch's eyes are shut.

His cheeks are flushed.

Hair is sticking to the sheen on his face.

His mouth is open.

He sounds like he's about to pass out…

He is cute…

_So cute._

A brief curl on Suzaku's lips at wondering if Lelouch would be flattered or offended by being called  _cute_ —

Before his body is jolted like a whip with a crack of pleasure that crows a bit hoarsely from his throat and he clings to Lelouch who buries into him and stiffens…

•-•

(If Suzaku's father could see him as he really is… just how would he react…?)

•-•

'…I love lying here like this with you.' Suzaku says as he cozies up to Lelouch with pure contentment, both of them too heated to take cover under the blankets as they cooled. 'Do you really have to leave? Can't you stay the night?'

'Mm. I can't.' Lelouch glances at a numberless clock on the wall indicating that it's nearly 11 o'clock as he hauls himself to sit up halfway. 'It's already quite late. I should go soon.'

'I like sleeping next to you. And waking up next to you.' Suzaku says and he snuggles more deeply into Lelouch's body as if trying to change his beloved's mind. 'Never get to do that.'

'I can stay until you fall asleep?' Lelouch looks down at the brunet with sincerity, fingers a soft sweep through swirls of chocolate hair.

'That won't work.' Suzaku tries not to pout but he knows his discontent taints his voice regardless. 'I know you're leaving so I won't be able to fall asleep.'

'I could read you a bedtime story.' Lelouch grins.

Very funny. 'I don't need a bedtime story.' Suzaku is feeling clingy and he doesn't like it, but—'…If it really is so late, then stay.'

'Wouldn't that seem odd when I live so close?' Lelouch makes his move to the edge of the bed where he gathers his clothes.

'You've stayed over before.' Suzaku watches Lelouch's knotted spine shift as he steps into his pants.

'Not in the same bed.' Lelouch sits down to put on his socks and shoes. 'Anyway, I don't have a change of clothes or a toothbrush.'

'I can get you clothes and you can use my toothbrush.'

'Gross.'

'You're really saying that after where your mouth has just been?'

'Precisely. You think I don't know where  _yours_  has been?' Lelouch tosses a knowing look over his shoulder at Suzaku as he pulls on his shirt.

But the humor doesn't seem to reach.

'Would it really be so bad…?' If they are discovered?

'What do you mean?'

Suzaku is quiet a moment, letting his eyes get lost in the way Lelouch tucks his shirt into his pants after buttoning it and slipping on his vest.

'Lelouch…' he's seen a similar scene too many times before – and when he isn't the one watching, he's the one dressing, 'if you could marry me, would you?' He doesn't want to play either part anymore.

Why should he?

The Britannian Prince halts as he reaches for his tie as if held hostage by an invisible force.

'Is this a hypothetical or a proposal?'

'…Both.'

'Why are you suddenly asking me that?'

'Because I love you and I would if you asked me.'

'…What is this  _about?_ _'_  Lelouch sounds  _tired_  as he asks that, tightening his tie around his neck. 'You've been acting strange all evening.'

'Don't  _avoid_  the question. If you  _can't_  answer it…' Suzaku nearly bites, his teeth hanging dangerously from the unspoken end of his sentence.

'…It  _isn't_  that I can't answer…' Lelouch languidly says in contrast to Suzaku's heated fire, finger-combing tangles out of his hair.

That in turn annoys Suzaku even more. 'Yeah?'

'You… weren't supposed to ask me  _first_.'

'What do you—?' as Suzaku stares at Lelouch's troubled and reluctant expression, his brain kicks him in the head. 'You were going to ask me?'

'…Maybe.'

'When?'

'Certainly not  _tonight_.'

'…Was that the second part of my gift?' Suzaku eagerly crawls over to the edge of the bed by his Britannian boyfriend.

'Your power of deduction is truly terrifying.' Lelouch drolly teases with a wry smile.

Suzaku slumps. 'I just… ruined the surprise.'

'In a manner of speaking…' Lelouch blandly mutters as he pats Suzaku's head. 'But, I'd rather have the surprise ruined than anger you – since you seem so troubled about this.'

Suzaku is abashed but elated – to think that not only was Lelouch going to actually ask Suzaku to marry him but also made special plans… It isn't less than expected of Lelouch in itself, but Suzaku wishes he hadn't ruined Lelouch's plans. He must've had something special in mind to even  _have_  plans for this sort of thing.

'Waiting until my birthday? Why?'

'Because it seemed appropriate, considering you're 'coming of age.' And,' Lelouch continues with a cotton-candy smile as he sets a knee on the bed to lean in to Suzaku, 'I thought it would make a nice gift.'

Damn it!

Lelouch really  _did_  have something  _special_  planned, didn't he?

Suzaku's lips are kisses by soft petals again, but he can only seem to taste his own regret…

'You wanted to know what brought this up…' the younger man is weighted and solemn when he departs from his lover's affection to return to the couch where they started.

Lelouch's lifted eyebrow follows after him.

'I spoke with my father this afternoon.' Suzaku sullenly informs, pulling on his yukata and tying it closed. He picks up the manila folder he left on the coffee table and hands it over after Lelouch flicks on his jacket. 'Before I called you.'

The western prince opens the folder with a causal, if curious, flip but quickly darkens into something Suzaku felt swallow him into the red sun.

'…Wife applications?'

'In a manner of speaking,' Suzaku ironically echoes. 'He chose and arranged this list by  _pedigree_.'

Lelouch leafs through the profile pages. 'He just wants what's best for you.'

But is  _this_  what's really  _best_  for Suzaku?

'You don't see anything  _wrong_  with this?'

'You're a prince – something you seem to forget. Why wouldn't he choose the absolute best to be your spouse?'

'…But…' Suzaku is caught stupefied – he shouldn't be surprised at how easily  _Lelouch_  grasps the situation, but it's still troubling.

He wonders just  _how many_  of these situation's Lelouch has had to face to become so unfazed.

'I didn't say I like it. I just understand his thinking.' Lelouch fans the pages back to the beginning – opulent and unfamiliar women smiling at Suzaku in a quick flutter that sinks in his stomach. 'He gave you this list; does he want you to choose someone from it?'

'N…not exactly… He only said he wanted me to be aware of my 'options.'' And the Emperor thinks his  _son_  is clueless.

'But he  _is_  letting it be your choice.'

'Yes. He told me it was my mother's wish that I choose who I want to marry.' It's somehow strange to have his father honor the wishes of a person he rarely speaks of.

He must have… cared for her a great deal.

Lelouch hums. 'Is there a deadline?'

Deadline?

'No.' Suzaku's face purses at the inquisitive man – he doesn't sound concerned or curious just  _investigative_. 'But, sooner rather than later.'

'…I see.'

'You know I… wanted to tell him I've already chosen who I want to marry. About us, but—'

'It's good that you didn't. Our situation requires the right timing and finesse and you lack an understanding in both.'

That doesn't amuse Suzaku. 'What, you think you can  _charm_  my father somehow?'

'No.  _Charm_  isn't what works on your father.' Lelouch says pragmatically and happily cryptic with another glancing leaf through the folder. 'In the meantime, don't do anything I wouldn't do. That is, don't do anything stupid or rash.'

' _Yes, I know…_ ' Suzaku tiredly drawls. 'But what are you going to—?' he is confused into silence by the finger Lelouch presses against his lips.

'Don't worry. I'll take care of  _everything_.' Lelouch doesn't wink, but the  _impression_  of one does.

Suzaku furrows his brow and shoves away Lelouch's hand. 'I'm not some fairytale princess who needs to be taken care of.'

'I know.' Lelouch is smiling that smug smile as he does little more than acknowledge Suzaku's complaint, trading the folder for his phone from the table and stuffing it into the inside breast pocket of his blazer. 'Now, I've got quite a bit to do, so, I'll be going.'

Typical, keeping everything to himself.

Why does it always have to be some grand mystery with Lelouch?

'…I'll walk you out.'

'You don't have to. Just go to bed and rest.'

'Wouldn't it seem  _strange_  if you left my room at night while I'm asleep?' Suzaku slyly says as he straightens his clothes on the way to the door – not wearing his underwear, but it should be fine.

Lelouch smiles – not cheeky, but with pride. 'Careful. Start thinking that way and you'll turn into me.'

'I would never let myself sink that low.' Lelouch laughs lightly at that and Suzaku pauses to turn to him before opening the solid, wooden door. 'Kiss me goodnight?'

'Did this door suddenly gain a toll?'

'Maybe. And maybe you don't want to know what I'll take from you if you don't pay it.'

Lelouch lifts an eyebrow. 'What was that about  _not_  sinking to my level?'

'Are going to kiss me or not?'

Lelouch's smirk is thick on his lips and the last thing Suzaku sees before his waist is roped into the slim lasso of the black-haired man's arm. Hot breath against his lips and hips that connect to his, Lelouch kisses him with tongue and authority. A  _touch_  more brash than Suzaku really allowed, he is clouded by something too steamy and too assertive for just a farewell gesture, and Suzaku mourns how much he wants to get lost in this fog. His hands clutch shamelessly at Lelouch's chest as his body is brought to a full flush against the taller male. Regretfully, just as Suzaku is sinking into the suppleness of Lelouch's lips and the security of his arms, the same gentlemen ends it.

'…I said a  _kiss_ , not an  _encore_.' Suzaku chooses to mutter over his pining, trying to wipe it from his lips as they part.

'Just a little something to keep you warm until we meet again.' Lelouch smirks and Suzaku playfully shakes his head as they leave.

Suzaku doesn't want  _a little_   _something_  to keep him warm.

He wants Lelouch.

•-

-•

"You seem distracted today, Suzaku," Tohdoh says as he sits beside the prince resting on a bench outside the palace dojo.

Suzaku gulps water from his bottle but doesn't respond – he doesn't really need to. Tohdoh understands him very well.

"Is it about the meeting you had with your father yesterday?"

Suzaku chokes.

"So it is."

Suzaku coughs and wipes the offending water from his mouth. "I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that you knew…" Indeed, Tohdoh and Suzaku's father have known each other a very long time – a shoulder-to-shoulder military service forged a strong friendship between them which is why he's always been in Suzaku's life. He's also the highest ranking general because of his unmatched battle proficiency and a trusted voice in his father's ear.

That's right… didn't Genbu and Tohdoh playfully banter about who saved who in that one fight…? Such an old memory. When was the last time Suzaku saw his father smile and regale in that way with his old friend? (Was it just a dream…?)

"It may seem sudden to you, but the truth is that there have been many plans and attempts to marry you since you were young."

"Really?"

Tohdoh nods. "You're the prince."

Yeah, that…

"…Father did say he had been putting it off for as long as he could. He said—" Suzaku pauses, lifting himself out of a slouch he hadn't realized he was in. "He said my mother wanted me to be given the choice of who I marry."

"…Yes. I suspect if she hadn't asked that of him, you'd already be married."

"That…" Suzaku feels himself pale and chill from the inside out. "It sounds cold when you put it that way."

"Perhaps that's not inaccurate."

Suzaku frowns – because it he can't help but agree with Tohdoh.

"Even so, it isn't as though your father wants to be cold. He's just… objective. He loses sight of the details sometimes when he looks at the bigger picture."

"Is that what makes him a good leader?"

Tohdoh hums thoughtfully at that. "He is a good leader, but he wasn't always like this… He shut himself off emotionally. The bottom line can come back to bite, and he's learned that. Well, he continues to learn it." Tohdoh's gaze shifts to Suzaku, the gray sky from yesterday still lingering above them. "He's only human."

Suzaku looks away. "I'm not sure what you're trying to say."

"That he cares about you. He might not be able to show it, but he cares." A pause, followed quietly with: "In his own way."

Suzaku can feel his face tense; he feels himself as a lonely child always chasing after his father's back, gaining refuge with Tohdoh who patted his head and always listened—

And then a western prince with violet eyes—

"Do you think…? Did he love my mother even though it was arranged?"

"She didn't make the request because she was unhappy."

(Would she still have made it if she knew what her son really is?)

"That's not what I asked."

Tohdoh crosses his arms over the pristinely white chest of his gi, his weathered, wrinkled features deepening under the gloomy sky. "…He did. It wasn't as though they were strangers. They had known each other since adolescence and became quite close before the marriage."

Suzaku wants to ask why Tohdoh paused before answering, but doesn't.

He silently wonders if it was more about  _learning_  to love rather than  _falling_  in love.

"At any rate, you shouldn't worry yourself so much about this. You're young. You have time."

"But… what if I pick someone he doesn't approve of?" In the end, some old promise that was made won't matter when it's revealed that his son wants to marry  _another_   _man_.

(A  _Britannian prince_.)

There's just no way that  _won't_  matter.

"You have someone in mind already, don't you?"

Suzaku's heart flies out of his chest and his brain falls to his throat, rendering him a dumbfounded gape he hopes doesn't have Lelouch welded to it.

"Do you really love this person?"

Suzaku's mouth is dry.

He wants to say something to refute Tohdoh, but…

He's always been a bad liar.

"As long as it is your heart's decision," Tohdoh comfortingly says despite his gravely-voice and how his hand is heavy upon Suzaku's shoulder, "I will support you."

"…You will?" Suzaku  _wants_  to confess. "Even if father disagrees?"

"Of course. I always have." A squeeze. "And I always will."

Suzaku wants to confide in Tohdoh.

In the person who has always understood him, but—

_'Our situation requires the right timing and finesse and you lack an understanding in both.'_

"…Thanks… Kyo-san."

Tohdoh chuckles, a warmly rusted sound bouncing in his throat. "It's been a long time since you've called me that." –An old nickname, of course, from when Suzaku was young and unable to properly pronounce Tohdoh's first name. The older man stands and pats Suzaku's head like when he was a child. "Come, little prince. Break time is over."

Suzaku stands and follows his teacher into the dojo, feeling no less weighted than before they spoke.

•-

-•

A couple of days later and storm clouds persist, sprinkling on the earth from time to time, but the sun is still able to shine into the library today as Suzaku is tasked with more study work… Only, his concentration is on the empty couch where Lelouch slept earlier in the week. He's standing alone at the window overlooking the courtyard with the bean-shaped pond when he decides to phone Lelouch.

Just taking a little break from his work…

Talking to Lelouch for a bit so he can concentrate…

That's all it is.

Lelouch's cell rings—

And rings—

And rings—

And rings—

And rings—

And worries Suzaku—

And rings—

Until the line finally picks up with a rustle—"Suzaku~~!"—and a familiar female voice croons through the phone. "It's Milly!"

"Milly?"

"Yes! I can't believe Lelouch has been keeping you all to himself— _Oof_ —!"

'Sorry,' Lelouch is suddenly muttering over a protesting Milly in the background. 'She's become surprisingly athletic since graduation.'

' _You're just surprisingly under-athletic!_ '

'What do mean?' Suzaku asks.

Lelouch's pause is an unwillingness to answer. '…She leapt across the table and tried to get the phone – and then  _tripped_  me when I got away.'

' _It's your own fault!_ ' she shouts.

'Are you alright?' Suzaku is beyond concerned yet not surprised – but isn't this the sort of thing that Jeremiah is  _actually_  for? Or Lelouch's self-defense? Maybe he was trying to be a  _gentleman_  by not forcing them on Milly or maybe Lelouch isn't as good at it as Suzaku thought.

'I'm fine— _Geh_!'

"Suzaku~!" Milly sings into the phone as Lelouch curses. "It's been too long~!"

'Get  _off_  of me!' Lelouch grumbles as the phone rustles again.

' _Just let me speak to him a bit!_ '

'No! If he  _wanted_  to speak to you he would  _call_   _you!_ '

'Um, it's fine if I talk to her—'

'No, it isn't. If you feed her she'll never leave.'

' _So mean~!_ '

'Move your fingers if you  _don't_  want to lose them!' Lelouch's warning rumbles like an earthquake, shaking even in Suzaku's head before he hears the sound of a door slamming shut and a lock being clicked. 'First my brother…' Lelouch heavily sighs. 'Why am I still surrounded by such obnoxious people?'

'Sorry, I called at a bad time.'

"No." Lelouch speaks such a simple word in a way that cuts Suzaku right down the middle. 'Don't apologize – Milly is her own fault. Anyway, did you need something?'

Suzaku fidgets in place, watching his bashful reflection sway in the windowpane. "…I was just thinking about you. Wanted to hear your voice. Have you been busy?" Suzaku is curious about whatever progress Lelouch has made with whatever it is he's doing regarding their marriage conversation. So far, Lelouch hasn't mentioned anything in their daily chats or messages.

'Not especially,' Lelouch answers, rather discouraging Suzaku's hopes. 'But not being too busy means things are going well. Unlike where I live, I'm not  _working_  with idiots.'

'Do you get bored? You've never been one for desk work.'

Lelouch hums noncommittally. 'It's not all desk work. A lot of it is problem solving… it just happens to sometimes be at a desk.'

'You do like puzzles.'

'I suppose. But you didn't call to talk about boring work matters, did you?'

Lelouch hasn't discussed in detail what exactly it is that he does – he doesn't share most things unprompted, and even if asked his answer depends on the question and who's asking it. In this case, when such things as secretive military operations are involved, it makes sense that he wouldn't openly discuss them on the phone. Suzaku knows he's overseeing the facility and handling  _any_  work that involves as he has become the umbrella. Lelouch mentioned it's not all necessarily military related in that they've been producing more pedestrian models for labor such as construction and agriculture – but the brunt of a lot of research is handled in this co-ed Japanese-based facility since the upgrade to sakuradite before Suzaku or Lelouch were even born. He has to worry about resources and funding and all that fun stuff. The science is really only the beginning with knightmares.

That Lelouch could be placed in charge of something so important at such a young age… It  _can't_  be just be because of his mother.

'Well, I was thinking that the weekend is coming again soon. Can we meet?'

'Hm, yes, but I don't think we'll be  _allowed_  to be alone.'

'Why?'

'Milly.'

'Ah… But, that's fine. I just want to see you.'

Lelouch quite audibly scoffs on the other end. 'Maybe that's not good enough for me.'

A fuzzy smile heats Suzaku's lips and belly. 'Now who's being naughty?'

'I've never claimed to be otherwise.'

'Is that right?' Lelouch certainly knows how to  _act_  like a good boy when he wants or needs to.

'Ah, yes, Clovis is also quite livid with me for neglecting to give you the kimono he designed for you.'

'…Oh, sorry. I forgot.'

'Not your fault. But, it is hideous. If you stare at it too long you may go mad.'

Suzaku laughs. 'But his paintings are always so beautiful.'

'His  _only_  real brilliance…' Lelouch mutters. 'His fashion sense leaves  _a lot_  to be desired.'

Suzaku's coyly grins. 'Speaking of which, what are you wearing?'

'…Why?'

'Er, I was… trying to… you  _know_. Be sexy.'

A pause.

'Is my wardrobe sexy?'

Not what Suzaku  _meant_ , but… 'You  _always_  look handsome.'

'In that case…' Lelouch lowers his voice, lusciously lustful in the way that broils Suzaku's body. 'I can just send you a picture.' Suzaku wonders if he should be ashamed at how easily that tone always tingles right through him. 'And… you can send one to me. Clothing optional.'

'Really…' Suzaku tries to chide but isn't sincere. After all, Lelouch never  _claimed_  to not be naughty and his "bad boy" edge is much more alluring than it should be – but maybe that's because Suzaku is a  _good boy_.

'Listen, I really can't leave Milly and Clovis alone for too long otherwise bad things  _will_  happen – most likely at my expense. So, I should go, but I'll see you this weekend.'

'Alright.' Suzaku smiles, feeling hot and fluttery. 'I love you.'

"Yeah, see you later."

Suzaku lightheartedly pouts his lips at the lack of romance from Lelouch's farewell as he looks down at his phone, having  _long_  ago developed a fondness for his best friend's endearing lack of  _verbal_  affection.

(" _…He might not be able to show it, but he cares…In his own way.")_

…Why  _this_ , now?

Well, it's true that Lelouch and the Emperor share a reserved emotional nature, but they're two different people…

_Both are calculating and shrewd, objective and composed, distant and…_ It couldn't be that… rather than trying to marry his mother Suzaku is trying to—?

No!

That thought is just  _ridiculous_!

Lelouch is nothing like Suzaku's father!

_Nothing_.

Nothing…

When Suzaku's cell suddenly vibrates in his hand, his skeleton practically leaps out of his skin.

A message from Lelouch.

Suzaku sighs, deeply, and rubs at his forehead as he opens it—

And the heat that rockets up from his feet like a thermometer tossed into the sun has a double meaning as he looks at the image Lelouch sent him…

He's wearing another three-piece suit, black but with glittery golden pinstripes on the jacket and golden, knot-like buttons on the vest, a white shirt and a diagonally striped gold and cream silk tie. It reminds Suzaku of their uniforms for Ashford Academy… Of all their little moments that seemed so innocent until they bloomed into, well, this flush on his face.

The shot itself is a bit dark, caught in a shadow despite the large, unveiled window in the background. However, the angle is downward, cutting off above Lelouch's chin and the fray of his hair to focus mostly on his torso as he's pulling his tie loose from his neck… with his long, hooking fingers… and his gaunt collarbone is showing from the unfastened buttons at the top of his shirt…  _His scent is wafting into Suzaku's nose from the screen, his heat is tingling in Suzaku's palm, his sweat is fresh on Suzaku's tongue_ … It's as though Suzaku is watching Lelouch undress in private seclusion, waiting with warm anticipation welling up in his body to see it all fall to the floor before Lelouch pounces – but it's an annoying itch he can't reach because Lelouch  _isn't_  right in front of him… So close yet so far away – Suzaku seems to be painfully aware of what that truly means in this moment.

Somehow, Suzaku just wasn't expecting such a…  _provocative_  picture. He's almost certain that Lelouch is smirking in this photo – probably at Suzaku for being so surprised even though he spoke in his  _provocative_  voice.

Suzaku clenches the phone with a strangled breath, covering his blistering blush with his other hand as he wonders what sort of picture he should send in return… Not the first time they've shared…  _naughty_  images with each other, but Lelouch's always have an undeniable grace to his. An artistic flair, maybe… They're eloquent like his words while Suzaku just feels clumsy and positive he's not doing it right – not that Lelouch has ever complained.

Suzaku looks down at himself.

And then sighs.

He needs to hurry to a bathroom to snap a picture and… take  _care_  of himself – Lelouch would appreciate both even though Suzaku is more distracted than  _before_  their counterproductive call.

(So much so that he no longer thinks of his father and Lelouch – because they have nothing to do with each other.

Nothing!)

•-•

And of course, when Milly rings him with excitement that evening, Suzaku has no choice but to answer.

•-

-•

As Friday finally falls Suzaku is happily preparing to leave the palace in the afternoon, walking with an excited skip to his step through the indoor halls when he suddenly finds himself chest-deep in trouble upon sharply turning a corner.

All Suzaku sees is a flash of pink—

Until it thuds against him and causes him to stumble backwards with a groan. He looks to see the short, black-haired, green-eyed girl that is his cousin. She's dressed in a pink kimono that has white feathers stitched across the bottom and her long, floor-touching sleeves with a red obi and light blue underclothes. Her waist-length hair is mostly loose aside from a few intricate twists atop her head adorned with sparkly, floral picks and bejeweled, dangling ornaments.

"Suzaku!" she exclaims once regaining herself with a nursing rub on her forehead, no worse for wear.

"…Kaguya?" Suzaku rubs his chest – she has quite a hard head.

Hands slap to her hips as she pouts her lips. "You forgot that I was coming."

Sumeragi Kaguya, age 16 (17 in August, she'd have it known), descendant of a member of Kyoto and a  _real firecracker_.

"A-ah… Sorry." Yes. Suzaku did forget. What with Lelouch's sudden arrival… His head might've accidentally saved over that information.

"Since it's your birthday, I'll forgive you. You must be distracted with the big celebration coming up!"

Not especially. "I think you're more excited than I am."

"If you're trying to imply that I'm immature—"

"I'm not." Well, not exactly… She's just always had a child-like spirit.

"—then you obviously lack the level of sophistication required to notice how  _much_  of a proper lady I am."

Suzaku lifts his eyebrow at the way her fingers fan over her chest as she refers to herself with a lifted chin.

"Glad you could make it." Suzaku smiles wryly, realizing he should've just started with that even if he forgot about her visit.

"I wouldn't disappoint you by not helping you celebrate." She winks at him with a gaping smile and she flicks out a wooden fan to lightly wave at her face. "You will  _finally_  be a  _man_ , after all!"

Ha.

Ha.

"I thought we could get a head start by—"

"Actually, Kaguya, I have plans this weekend." Suzaku says as he continues along his way.

"Oh?" Kaguya is suspiciously interested in this news and snaps the fan shut with a  _click_. "What plans could  _you_  possibly have?"

How insulting…

"Meeting with friends."

"Eh?" she scampers after him. "Oh! That's right! I heard a certain  _prince_  is in town! Are you going to see him now? Oh, it's been some time since I last  _saw~_  him!"

Yeah, her crush on Lelouch is hardly a secret.

"You're not coming with me."

But that's not why Suzaku doesn't want her there.

"Wha—?!" Kaguya is stunned and affronted. "You  _forget_  I'm visiting for your birthday, made  _special_  plans for the occasion"—Suzaku didn't ask her to do that, who is she, Clovis?—"and now you're  _ditching_  me? Your  _guest_?"

"I'm not ditching you."

"Would you just be a gentlemen for  _once_  and entertain a young a  _lady_?"

Before Suzaku can even counter about him  _not_  being a gentlemen, he feels sudden panic at the thought that she's implying he's never entertained a lady before – which he hasn't – and if she already knows about his…  _proclivities_ , about him and Lelouch, or if he's just being paranoid.

He glances at her.

No.

He's just being paranoid.

"Ladies don't insult others, you know." he teasingly barbs instead.

"Only the ladies who believe they should be  _seen_  and  _not heard_."

Suzaku should've seen that one coming…

"Look, I'll take you some other time." He tries to pacify with a sigh as she trails him through a formal sitting room – his shortcut. "Now's not a good time."

"What is  _that_  supposed to mean?"

"Well…" Suzaku doesn't really know how to put it… It isn't that he doesn't want to spend time with his favorite cousin – his  _only_  cousin – and he  _does_  feel  _really_  bad about forgetting her, he just… "…Alright. You can come." In the end, Suzaku isn't really sure why he's trying to exclude her.

Or what he's trying to hide from her. (Other than the obvious.) It isn't as though Kaguya has ever judged him – not  _maliciously_ , anyway.

Maybe she really is just his Clovis?

"Yay~!" Kaguya hops happily in front of him. "Where is the party happening?"

Suzaku didn't say it was a  _party_.

"At Lelouch's villa."

"How fun! I'll get to see the  _stallion_  in his  _natural_  habitat."

…There are so many issues with that statement… Suzaku isn't going to dignify it with a response.

"Perhaps I'll finally break him in? He  _is_  my husband, after all."

Kaguya may have decided that she's already married to Lelouch all on her own, but… When she says "break him in" she couldn't possibly mean that in an…  _adult_  context, right? It has Suzaku as unsettled as if she just  _stated_  she wanted to  _ride him like a horse_ —

Then Tohdoh appears from the doorway to stop Suzaku's unwanted mental perversions before they worsen.

_Thankfully_.

"I see you've found each other." Tohdoh casually says as he approaches them.

"We're partying at Lelouch's house!" Kaguya cheerfully notes,  _unsolicited_  – as if she was in on it the whole time.

Tohdoh's eyebrows lift in a way that says "is that so?" before he looks to Suzaku.

"Suzaku, before you leave, your father wants to speak with you." He glances at Kaguya. "Privately."

The black-haired girl teasingly "ooooo~s" ominously at Suzaku as he walks away.

A proper lady indeed.

…Not that Suzaku has any room to talk.

•-•

His father is in his usual place, pouring himself over documents and ink in his office in front of that red sun, only this time there is no music.

To be summoned again so soon…

"I trust you've looked over the list." His father doesn't waste time with  _pleasantries_  – he never does.

With Suzaku.

"…Yes."

"Good. A meeting has been arranged for you next week. The daughter of the Shinozaki family. You've always gotten along well with her, haven't you?"

"But… I thought it was  _my_  choice."

"The purpose of the meeting is to help you choose."

So the list was… homework?

Something for Suzaku to study for when he meets the actual person?

"Am I meeting all of them?" Suzaku can't keep a tinge of frustration from his voice, but his father doesn't seem to notice.

"I understand you can't decide from pictures and history alone."

Should it be strange to hear his father say something like that?

Whether or not it should be, it is.

"If… Say I wanted to marry someone  _not_  in the list. That would be alright?" Suzaku doesn't want to meet a slew of women and waste their time, and whatever it is that Lelouch is planning he's yet to let Suzaku in on the secret – not that Suzaku is trying to circumvent the undoubtedly clever and secretive plans of his secret boyfriend. He just wants to make sure this is absolutely true. Test the waters…

Genbu lifts his eyes from his desk for the first time to look at his son.

In the eyes.

"You have a person in mind already?"

"Um…" Suzaku looks away and grabs his arm. "Well…" Is Suzaku really  _that_  easy to read?

"A check would have to be done, but it should be fine. Even a commoner – people will be able to relate to her, so that's not an issue." As if bound by gravity, his eyes drop back to his work.

Suzaku feels his face purse – they aren't talking about the people. They're talking about his future spouse.

"Unless she's a foreign girl you met at that school."

"That would be an  _issue_?" Suzaku feels his mouth spit before he can mentally reel it in.

"You are to marry a Japanese girl. Any of your choosing."

"Did mother stipulate that, or you?"

"Watch your tone."

Suzaku swallows, his hands clenching behind his back.

"…So you won't allow it, even if a foreigner is who I want to marry? Even though you said it was my choice?"

Genbu takes in a breath. "I will not repeat myself."

"But you didn't give me restrictions before. Why does it matter?"

"You know your obligations as a prince. You will marry a Japanese girl and have at least one child. That child cannot be of mixed blood."

That—!

That…

_That's_  all that matters to him, isn't it?

As an  _Emperor_  (not a father).

How unfeeling.

(Even if Suzaku  _understood_  that at a time, the bloodline must continue, but as it sounds now it's just… It's spoken of like an objective – an obligation. Yes. Mechanical and mandatory…)

"…What about a  _male_  foreigner? No child can be born from that." A rather logical angle, if Suzaku may say so…

"If  _that_  is all," his father loudly says, finality booming from mild irritation, "you are dismissed."

"I'm being serious—uh, hypothetically— _I-I_  mean, serious  _about_  the hypothetical."

"Suzaku, you are trying my patience." –  _Shut up and do as you're told._

"You said I could choose anyone I wanted, and this won't produce a child of  _mixed-blood_."

"This is not a game." –  _Stop behaving like a child._

"I'm not playing. I… I'm trying to understand."

"I already explained it to you." –  _Don't waste my time_.

Blocked at every turn.

(Suzaku's always been trapped in this box with his father looking down on him. He knew that.

All this time, and, Suzaku still hasn't  _outgrown_  it yet?)

"…So even if it's someone I love… I  _can't_  marry them?" That's why his voice always comes out so small – the faintest scent of hope and Suzaku thought he could fly, but it seems there's a glass ceiling after all.

(He's tried to scale the walls in a number of ways, but, he's still here.)

Genbu is about to huff out an irritated response until he looks up at Suzaku's face – his expression – and grave lines fold deeply into his brow and mouth.

"…Who is it?"

"What?"

"Who is he – your  _hypothetical?_ "

…Shit.

_What_  did Suzaku say?

Suzaku averts his eyes and zip his lips.

"No. You don't have to tell me – it's that  _friend_  of yours, isn't it?"

Shit!

"That arrogant little…" Genbu nearly curses. " _He_  put you up to  _this_ , didn't he?"

"What? No!" His father couldn't be  _more_  wrong. "No one put me up to anything. I'm just trying to—" have a conversation…

" _Hypothetically_  have me allow you to make a spectacle of yourself?"

Suzaku's jaw clenches shut and he takes another hard swallow of his voice.

He doesn't want to hear what follows because he doesn't want to be hurt.

He wants to hear what follows because he needs to know what his father really thinks.

He wishes Lelouch could be here…

"Stop  _this_. Now."

"So it would really be that bad?" But Suzaku's father won't speak of it because he  _doesn't_  want to have anything to do with it. "If I admit it right  _now_."

"You don't know what you're talking about. You're just confused."

"I'm not—"

"You let him get into your head and make a mess of it."

"It's not—"

"I am  _disappointed_  in you."

—Suzaku's blood is sucked into that red sun. He's gone cold.

But the sun… it's still so bright and hot.

"To think you could be so easily swayed—"

…Disappointed…?

"—I realize  _this_  sort of thing isn't uncommon in the  _west_ , but we are in the  _east_ —"

Despite all of Suzaku's hard work.

"—I knew you were spending too much time with him—"

Despite all of Suzaku's endless devotion.

"—His influence on you is too strong—"

His father is still… disappointed?

"—And now you're mixed up in this strange phase—"

_You're wrong! –_ "I'm—! I'm just  _like_   _this!_ " Suzaku snaps, stretched much too taut.

"…You're just  _confused_." Genbu adamantly insists, the red son behind him seeping into his eyes and scorching off his tongue.

"I'm  _not!_  I like  _men!_ "

His father's face… Suzaku never thought it would look so pale once he said these words.

Suzaku couldn't even properly imagine what his father's face would look like once he  _knew_.

Now he wishes he couldn't see the…  _dissatisfaction_.

The calloused scowl of repugnance.

The cold slate of denial.

How… did it come to this?

Suzaku could've held his tongue like he's always done…

"…And I'm in love with one." Suzaku quietly manages to say – his nervous voice caught in his throat.

"That's enough. I won't hear anymore of this—This  _nonsense_."

"You don't believe me or you don't want to hear it?" –  _That your son is even more imperfect than you thought._

"You are young and impressionable. The words coming from your mouth are not your own nor are your thoughts or feelings—"

"We've already shared a  _bed_!" Suzaku declares with nostrils flared, an untamable storm rocking the boat. "We've been in a relationship for the past  _three_  years!"

His father's eyes are frostbite on his skin, but the burn of the sun is too intense for Suzaku to notice.

"This isn't a 'phase!' It isn't the 'western' influence! And it has  _nothing_  to do with 'confusion'!" Now Suzaku's voice is bigger than he ever knew it could be; an eruption of everything he always kept tightly bottled. "I  _love_  him. That's the end of i—!"

The hand that cracks against his cheek could've been dodged if he hadn't closed his eyes—

The slap is how he even realizes they were shut.

"You have spoken  _out_  of turn  _long enough_! You  _do not_  raise your voice at me  _ever_  again!"

His father's voice is much more powerful, hitting Suzaku like a stone wall while he was running at full speed. Even though his face stings, he feels as if his bones have just been broken by words –  _stick and stones_ … Suzaku can't remember the last time he was stricken – the last time he stepped out of line and into such a violent correction.

Or the last time his father left his desk.

Suzaku cups his cheek, something dreadful festering on the tip of his tongue and threatening to leak from his eyes—

"And you are  _never_  to see him  _ever_  again."

No! Wait!

This isn't—!

…Suzaku can't speak?

" _He_  will not be allowed into these walls nor  _you_   _outside_  of them."

This isn't shock, is it? (Fear?)

Was his voice knocked from him?

(Can he even convince his father with words?)

"No  _son_  of  _mine_  is going to act so recklessly and  _disgraceful_."

•-•

How did it end up like this?

Suzaku's worst nightmare…

Why is he living it?

•-•

Why can't he find his breath?

That's right… it's outside these walls somewhere.

Where…?

His feet, they know where they're going?

He's running.

Is that why he can't breathe?

Suzaku needs violet. He needs to find it before it vanishes.

But there isn't any violet inside these palace walls—

Yes. Outside.

Suzaku needs to hurry.

Faster—

(If he runs fast enough, will time reverse?

Can he change the way he was created—?)

Suzaku doesn't want that.

He just wants…

(Love)

— _Faster_ —

His heartbeat.

Has it always been this loud?

He can't hear anything else.

(Acceptance)

He can't see…

Is he awake?

Is this real…?

— _Faster!_

(Lelouch)

•-•

It  _can't_  be real…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know making Lelouch taller is a typical SEMEuke move, but I've always honestly felt he'd end up on the taller side simply because of his genes. That's all. He's canonically taller than Suzaku, anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

_My beloved, oh my sweet_

_All the gifts you have given me_

_The patience and the peace_

_The cherry blossoms and the candy_

_I am yours, I am yours_

_For as long, for as long as you will have me_

-•-

Land of the Rising Son

Part 3

Suzaku wakes up in his room.

He slowly shifts in bed under a cold sheet of sweat with churning nerves that twist in his body like rusted cog wheels.

"Suzaku?" Tohdoh is with him. "Don't move. Do you remember what happened?"

Suzaku sits up despite Tohdoh's caution, rubbing at the thunder in his head.

"…No… Not after…" He remembers… his father and then—"Something happened?" Something  _else_?

Tohdoh appears to be the only other person in the room, other than Kaguya who is asleep in a nearby chair. No attendants or maids despite the look of alarm sharp around the older man's features and—

"You… had an episode."

"Episode?" Suzaku echoes with bewilderment, hand dropping from his face to the quilt stitched together by the careful fingers of his mother, grandmother and great grandmother before he was born.

_That_ … wasn't a dream?

"You were very upset." Tohdoh offers Suzaku a glass of water, but Suzaku isn't concerned about his hydration.

"But,  _what_  does that mean? What are you saying!?"

"Please, just relax—"

"Did I  _do_  something!?"

"No." Tohdoh pauses, a vague weight seeming to settle on his shoulders. "You… I believe it was some sort of panic attack."

…Panic?

"You're alright now, so please." He insists the water towards Suzaku again. "Relax."

A panic attack…

Suzaku remembers running.

Trying to escape.

The palace suddenly became a maze…

He couldn't breathe.

And his chest was…

"…What time is it?" the prince tiredly asks as he takes the water, his dry lips tingling at the touch of the cool liquid flowing past them.

Suzaku doesn't bother to ask if his father has visited him.

He already knows the answer.

Tohdoh looks at his silver watch. "Just past midnight."

Suzaku flails and nearly sloshes water all over himself as he swings the glass down to his nightstand—

"I was supposed to meet Lelouch!" He didn't even notice how dark the room is, what with all the lanterns lit and closed curtains. "I need to—!"

"Suzaku." Tohdoh stills him and a long silence struggles in his muscles. "You aren't going."

"But I was supposed to be there  _hours_  ago…" Lelouch must be so worried!

Tohdoh shakes his head. "You've been sequestered to the palace."

"Se- _Sequestered_!?"

"Visiting or communicating with Lelouch won't be possible." He holds up Suzaku's mobile. "I've informed him you won't be available."

Suzaku reaches for his phone—

But Tohdoh blocks him. "Like I said. Communicating with him won't be possible."

Suzaku frowns. "…Why are you doing this?"

"Your father ordered it."

(" _…And you are never to see him ever again. He will not be allowed into these walls nor you outside of them._ ")

That's right.

Not a dream.

But a nightmare.

Suzaku is afraid to ask. "…Does that mean… you know?" His knees unconsciously bend towards his chest underneath the heavy quilt.

Tohdoh doesn't respond.

"…Of course you do." Suzaku feels his lips sardonically curl as he turns his face away from the man that's always been on his side. All that  _talk_  about supporting Suzaku… "Does it  _disgust_  you?"

"No." Tohdoh says very plainly. "I've watched the two of you grow up and grow close. I only worry about the situation. About you."

"You…" green eyes shyly peek at the older man, "don't think it's wrong?"

Tohdoh doesn't hesitate in a moment of silence, only considers. "…If I wanted to interfere with your relationship with him I would have done so before now."

"You knew all along?" Suzaku blinks.

"Not the entire time…" Tohdoh says at length with a sideways shift of his eyes.

But Tohdoh was the one who conceded to Suzaku spending the night with Lelouch when he first arrived…

And decided to sit down to dinner with Lelouch and asked about his move to Japan…

He spoke to Suzaku about marrying someone he loves…

All this time, Tohdoh has—

"I…" The crack that ruptured under Suzaku's feet from before festers. "…I…" Why does Suzaku feel smaller? "…I…" Tears trickle down his face, a dam overflowing. "I—" He hides his face in his knees, hugging them tightly to his chest to hold himself together (feeling the seams of the mold that his father poured him into begin to dissolve).

And the arms of his uncle encircle him. Strong and secure like they've always been. A hand rubbing his head in silent consolation.

Suzaku knows he's blubbering like a child.

And he knows that, according to his father, real men control their emotions.

Not the other way around.

•-

-•

It's painfully bright outside Suzaku's bedroom as he stares from his window seat. The glass is streaked and studded by rain but sunlight glows on the waxy leaves of shrubbery and trees in the garden. Strange how it can rain and be sunny at the same time…

It's quite entrancing.

"You know, you really could've told me you and Lelouch are together." Kaguya playfully pouts beside Suzaku on the maroon cushion, her back to the view that's holding Suzaku totally captivated. "I mean, just imagine my embarrassment after having fantasies about taming the wild stallion when  _you_  already have."

"…I'm sorry."

Kaguya purses her lips. "You apologize too easily."

"…Sorry."

Suzaku knows she's only trying to console him, to lift him up even if just a little, but…

Kaguya moves away from her window-gazing cousin. "Anyway, did you know I made friends with the Chinese empress? She's adorable, like a little mouse." She sits down on the couch of his lounge. "She's quite young, too. I'm not even that much older than—"

_Thunk!_

Kaguya looks up, startled to see Suzaku's forehead against the glass.

She fretfully furrows her brow.

…Suzaku hasn't been able to leave the window or say much of anything – much to his cousin's dismay. He honestly appreciates what she's doing for him, but he's been yanked so deeply into a dark abyss that he can't feel anything but hopelessness. He might as well be sitting in quicksand… He gazes helplessly and downtrodden out the window with Kaguya's attempt at cheerful chatter, and all he can think of are his mistakes that are burying him.

He thinks of Lelouch.

"Hey, Mr. Guard, do you  _have_  to stand there?" Kaguya is suddenly barking at the lightly armored statue at the door. "Why don't you take a break?"

"Sorry, Madam. Emperor's orders."

"Suzaku isn't allowed any privacy? What if he needs to  _disrobe_!? Are you some sort of debased creature without any manners?"

"Don't berate him, Kaguya. It isn't his fault."

She pouts at Suzaku's chide. Eyes falling on her red, silk clutch purse on the table.

"I trust you'll let me use your bathroom, Suzaku?" Kaguya adamantly  _acquisitions_  as she stands with her purse in hand, her long locks of sable hair swaying with attitude as she marches through the rooms. "And that Mr. Guard  _won't_  follow after me?" she sticks her tongue out at the rigid man at Suzaku's door—

Seeming to drip a bead of sweat down his temple once she passes him.

Not only is Suzaku not allowed outside the palace or to have visitors (aside from Kaguya, within reason), but he's also under constant surveillance to both avoid and catch any  _infractions_  on his part. Suzaku's phone was taken, his landline is monitored, his computer is off limits and even simple paper writing is under heavy scrutiny. If it were possible to employ some kind of  _thought police_  to altogether keep him from even thinking about Lelouch, Suzaku is almost certain his father would do it – and that is terrifying. Not just because of the notion, but because he believes his father would  _actually_  go to such a length to…

Suzaku sighs, his breath steaming the glass.

He wonders how he still even has any energy left to sigh…

And yet, it's just about all he can do.

If he thinks too much, well…

"Suzaku!" Kaguya is back from the bathroom, it seems, and at his side once again. "Come, you've been sitting at that window for too long." She gracelessly pulls at his head, roughly using his hair like a handle and grabbing his chin and it makes him wince but not budge—

Until he notices her fingers are a bit wet—

"You just came from the bathroom!" Suzaku unfurls from his depression curl at the window with a hop to the wooden floor, recoiling from her soiled hands. "Tell me you  _washed_  your hands!"

"Of  _course_! I'm a  _lady_ , after all!" she snaps, insulted, and arranges herself so her back is facing the guard. "Anyway, you don't look so well. Why don't you go wash your face, hm?" She flicks her eyes, very  _obviously_ , in the direction of the bathroom.

"…But I feel fine." Suzaku says a bit slowly, eyebrow rising as he soothingly rubs his scalp.

Her lips flatten at him. "It will make you feel better." She tosses her eyes  _again_ ,  _again_ , towards the bathroom. "A little warm water to bring the colour back to your face…?"

Suzaku stares.

And then Kaguya appears to suppress a sigh. "I really think visiting the bathroom"—she  _winks_  at him this time—"will do you some good. You've spent too much time in front of this window."

"…Alright." Suzaku finally agrees to her persistence if only because it's too strange.

He's pretty sure he sees her face-palm from the corner of his eye before she whirls around towards the stereo-radio tucked into a shelf-wall along with some more recreational books, photos and sentimental knickknacks.

"You don't mind if I play some music, right?" she loudly calls to him as he leaves the sitting room. "Time to liven things up a bit! I'm sure Mr. Guard is quite bored, too!"

Suzaku feels his lips curl at the boisterous girl as something sugary and electric bombards the room like a herd of dancing elephants. Even with the bathroom door shut behind him he can still hear the music quite clearly. As he moves to the mirror stretched across the long counter opposite the bathroom door, he notices a small, soapy smear on the bottom of the glass—

An arrow, pointing downward at…

Suzaku tries to swallow a sudden knot clamping his throat.

Kaguya left her cell phone.

And now that she has music blaring in the other room…

He cautiously picks up the phone as if it might be booby trapped, but only the glow of the screen greets him and it's already open to the page with Lelouch's number. Somehow Suzaku had forgotten that she has it and is immensely grateful to her – he'll have to thank her something fierce for this later.

And yet, Suzaku is surprised his father didn't think to check Kaguya's phone…

Suzaku turns on the tap at the white porcelain, square sink like he supposes he should and quietly pads towards the large round bath tub as it's the most opposite corner from the door, and presses the speed-dial.

The phone doesn't even ring twice before it picks up.

'Suzaku?'

'…How did you know?'

'Kaguya informed me that you would call.'

Suzaku owes her  _so big_  for this –  _anything_  she wants!

_Anything!_

But this surge of relief and euphoria by simply hearing his lover's voice is compounded by grief and despondency at  _why_  he's hearing it hidden in a bathroom. He chokes on everything that's happened – on everything his father has said and all his guilt – and he crumbles to the floor with unstoppable sobs.

'I'm sorry…' Suzaku's tears sear down his cheeks as his voice quivers. 'I'm so sorry.'

'Suzaku.'

'I didn't mean—I'm so sorry. It just, I couldn't stop. I was talking—I didn't say it, but he figured it out anyway. I'm…'

'Suzaku, it'll be alright. Don't worry.'

'But I…' He wipes at his eyes. 'I screwed it up.'

'This isn't your fault.'

How can it  _not_  be his fault?

This is because Suzaku didn't hold back like he's always done.

'Listen,' Lelouch redirects with a tone that's too business-like. 'I've been filled in on the details. It'll all be over soon – even before your birthday.'

'How…?'

'Do you trust me?'

'What?'

' _Do you trust me?_ '

'Yes… I trust you.'

'Remember that.'

'…You know, that's, uh,' Suzaku weakly chuckles, a peek of light in consuming darkness, 'not very comforting.'

'How so? I said it would be over soon.'

That's not… 'But you're not  _telling_  me anything. I don't even know what you're talking about. And you never even told me what you were planning to do about the marriage thing in the first place.'

'…Suffice to say, I was prepared for something like this to happen.' Lelouch's words are dry, amused, and although they weren't meant to scathe, Suzaku can still feel them coarsely against his skin.

'I'm sorry.' Suzaku's words hit the tiles under him that are the colour of white eggshells, cracking as if they're just as fragile as the real thing. 'After all this time, we were finally going to get to spend so much time together, and I—'

'Suzaku, stop.'

'—I ruined it. I ruined it. I just—I  _ruined_  it.' Suzaku can't stop himself; it's just a waterfall of angst that shatters against the cold floor.

'You didn't.'

'But if I hadn't said what I did, he wouldn't have found out.' So much pent-up regret, remorse, over something so stupid and it drowns him.

'You're not at fault for your father's ignorance.'

'But I'm the one who started this. If had just kept my mouth shut… He wouldn't have had a reason to do all this.' Suzaku threw a fit, and all it got him was—

'It doesn't matter how many times I tell you this isn't your fault, does it? You won't believe me.'

'Because it's not true.' It just  _isn't_.

'…If you want to blame someone, then blame me.'

'You didn't do anything.'

'Didn't I?' Lelouch's voice is so much colder. It stings. 'I made you mine.'

'I  _wanted_  to be yours. That doesn't make you guilty.'

'So this is all your fault, regardless?' It prickles in Suzaku's eyes. 'Do you regret what we've shared?'

'No! I didn't—!'

'Do you blame yourself for the way you feel?'

' _No_. I…'

'You should've kept quiet – censored yourself through fear.' Suzaku understands now… Lelouch's tongue isn't frozen, it's resentful and reprimanding. 'You should've surrendered to the people who might condemn you and live the life you don't want.'

'Lelouch…'

'You wanted the lives for people like us to be different. You wished for change. Have you forgotten? Have you changed your mind?' But he isn't angry with Suzaku, he's angry with the system. Lelouch has never tolerated what he perceives to be injustice, and despite making fun of Suzaku's slow-wit, he's never tolerated Suzaku devaluing himself or being bullied. They've been in the closet for years, of course, but that's because Lelouch realizes the situation is delicate.

That doesn't mean he likes it.

'I haven't, but…' Suzaku doesn't feel differently, but it's so much harder when the  _world_  he has to face is his father's rejecting scowl.

'Then don't forget that it isn't  _you_  or  _me_  who is wrong, Suzaku.  _They_  are.' Lelouch's voice is softer now; dulled by a pain he never completely, openly bares. 'And don't forget you're not alone.' Lelouch's way of saying he loves Suzaku.

And it makes Suzaku smile.

Small.

Happy.

'…By the way,' the Britannian  _casually_  changes the subject, 'you didn't happen to leave anything…  _explicit_  on your phone, did you?'

'Huh? What do you mean?'

Lelouch sighs. 'Please tell me you aren't so dumb as to keep such sensitive material in your phone.'

'As opposed to…?'

'How could I forget you really  _are_  such an idiot?' he exasperatedly mutters in a way that Suzaku imagines him to be rubbing his forehead.

'Wh-What was I supposed to do with that stuff? I didn't want to  _delete_  it!'

' _Remove_  them. Save it to a different device, or something of the sort.'

'Why would I do that?'

Lelouch sighs.  _Again_. 'For when someone  _else_  ever manages to get hold of your phone – like  _now_. You  _didn't_  consider this possibility?'

'I'm not as paranoid as you.'

'No, you're just an idiot…' Suzaku can  _so_  feel the love. 'It should be fine, I suppose. Even if your father sees, it isn't as though he'd release it into the media.'

'M…My father?'

'Precisely. A rather  _undignified_  notion, isn't it?' It isn't funny, but Suzaku can  _hear_  Lelouch's smirk.

Crap…

Suzaku might actually  _vomit_.

After all, it isn't just the messages or images Lelouch sent to him, it's also the ones  _he_  sent and took of  _himself_.

…But, there's a good chance his father hasn't and won't see any of it, right?

…Right?

'Um, listen,' Suzaku tries to reassure himself in the hopes that Tohdoh is the one still holding his phone – but he wonders if his father would really pry, considering he might be afraid of  _what_  could be found, 'I should probably go – Kaguya is distracting the guard, but…'

'I understand.'

'…A-Alright, then. I love you. And I miss you. And I hope to see you soon.'

'You will.'

'Bye.'

'Not bye – later.'

'Alright— _Later_.' Suzaku laughs faintly – not entirely sure he's allowed to laugh.

'…'

'…'

'…'

'…'

'…'

'…Lelouch?'

'Yes?'

'Why aren't you hanging up?'

'I could ask you the same.'

'Well… I don't want to. Since I won't get to speak to you again until I don't know when… But you?'

'…It seems rude to hang up first because of your situation.'

_Right_.

Lelouch just can't bring himself to hang up, either, can he?

'I guess you're right.' Suzaku is grinning. 'Talk to you later.'

"Until then."

Suzaku ends the call with a lingering smile, hearing the strong, swooping and beeping drone of pop radio and Kaguya's loud singing.

Guess it's time to face the music.

…So to speak.

•-•

…And then Suzaku realizes Lelouch  _still_  didn't share any information regarding his plans.

•-•

"Don't you think you're perhaps being too severe?" Tohdoh asks Genbu in his private study.

"I don't care what  _others_  chose do with their own lives or in private, but I will not allow  _my_  son to sink into such debauchery." The Emperor is stalking in a bit of a mild pace but doesn't seem to notice. "Such a  _lifestyle_  isn't suitable. It's  _disgraceful_."

"Suzaku is a very honorable young man." Tohdoh says a bit dismissively to his old friend's stewing. "And he's certainly not a hedonist."

"I knew he was too susceptible and yet I let him…" Genbu rubs his jaw and chin. "I never should've allowed him to go to  _that_  school. It was too much influence on him. A good, traditional,  _Japanese_  school would've been better."

"Then why did you allow it?"

Genbu is quiet a moment.

Thoughtful.

"I reasoned it would be harmless. Suzaku needed to sharpen his socializing skills and he had a friend inspiring him to do so." Genbu grunts. "I should've trusted my instincts. That  _same_  friend has Suzaku all confused."

"You really think Suzaku is incapable of knowing or understanding his own feelings?"

"He's always been impressionable. He doesn't know what he's feeling."

"Suzaku was one of the most stubborn children I've ever known. He's never let others think for him."

"And he's  _still_  nothing but a child."

"Because you still treat him as one." Tohdoh's words are terse but his tone isn't quite enough to make them bite. "You don't listen to him when he speaks. You never have. Because he isn't worth your time until he's grown, but you're idea of an  _adult_  is biased."

Genbu's brown eyes slide icily over Tohdoh's face. "Know your place, Kyoshiro."

"I do know my place. It's you who have lost footing on yours." he says,  _with all due respect_. "You're his father but you've always acted as his Emperor."

"My role is important to run this country."

"So important you couldn't spend time with your own son? I warned you, Genbu. Again and again that Suzaku needed you as a father. But you left raising him to the nannies and tutors… and me."

"Clearly a mistake. Look at what you let happen!"

"There isn't anyone to blame for "what's happened" with Suzaku because there's  _nothing_  wrong with him."

"Nothing wrong?" Genbu utters, looking at Tohdoh as if he's completely daft. "He says he's in love with  _another_  man – that smug little Brit."

Tohdoh's wrinkled mouth frowns. "…You're right. There is someone who is at fault here, and it's  _you_. Because you don't understand him. Because you never tried to. Because you  _still_  aren't trying to."

"Being the successor to the throne means sacrifices. He  _knows_  that. The world isn't a fairytale for him to frolic through as he pleases. He has responsibilities. If he thinks he can gallivant with—"

Tohdoh shakes his head. "Suzaku  _isn't_  irresponsible. He's never been. He isn't like you, but that doesn't mean he's a disgrace. He's finally standing up for himself but all you see is the child that doesn't fit into your ideals. The truth? Suzaku is the one who's facing a harsh reality – always has been. And it's the one that's been built by you. The one you've let yourself believe is true. Another truth? Suzaku has  _always_  been this way. Your punishment and anger won't change it."

"You've gotten too soft, old friend." Genbu almost sounds a bit wistful.

"I might've agreed with you in the past but now I simply see things as they are."

"You must feel proud, to have such enlightenment." The Emperor passively aggressively jabs.

Tohdoh opens his mouth, but pauses. "…This isn't about pride. Not mine."

Genbu's eyes settle on Tohdoh a moment – impassive but somehow still sharp like a knife that stops short of stabbing.

"You tire me." Genbu sits behind his desk with a light sigh, the chair creaking in kind. "Enough of this. I have work."

Tohdoh's eyes are heavy, a drop to the floor that isn't easy to lift.

"…Yes, Your Majesty."

•-

-•

After marinating in his immediate despair for the entire weekend, Suzaku returns to his studies when the week begins if only for the distraction – except they fail on that front. Consequently, Kaguya is restricted in her interactions during this time to keep him from straying farther from the path than he already has. Still, many unread chapters and blank pages collage themselves on Suzaku's desk in his own study as he restlessly counts the minutes and hours that pass through his heart… Time creeps along like an illness slowly infecting Suzaku's blood – the separation between him and his best friend, his lover, has never been so severe or desolate.

Suzaku touches his lips and wonders what would've happened with Lelouch during the weekend, what little messages they'd be sending each other and if they'd dine together again if he hadn't—

Suzaku growls a bit at himself, dropping his head into his hands as he stares down at the busy-work that isn't keeping him busy. He finds himself slipping in a bottomless whirlpool made of all his own negative thoughts and fears, spinning around and around and around in his head until he loses sight of reality.

But he remembers to breathe.

He doesn't forget Lelouch's reassuring words, no matter how vague they might've been. When the swirling vortex of his insecurities closes in, squeezes out the light at the end of the tunnel, he hears Lelouch's voice.

He remembers he's not alone.

Nonetheless, Suzaku wonders how long he can sit on his hands like a  _good_  boy before his desires anxiously and angrily tear from his skin into a doppelganger that'll scale the palace walls. These imprisoning walls of his home have always been somewhat constricting, but now he sees just  _how_  much his father's grip can tightened around him. The guards that stalk after him everywhere he goes only serve to remind Suzaku of the situation. It only reminds him of where he really stands with his father.

Of what his father really thinks of him.

•-

-•

Before it can come to any freakish phantoms, however, Suzaku is once again executing commands by the codes of his father's programming. Dressed in one of his more formal, ornamental and dark kimonos as he was instructed through a relay of servants, he joins his father in the imperial sitting room at the allotted time—

Except the Emperor isn't alone.

Suzaku instantly recognizes their guests, a trio of familial faces he has met before, and remembers his father scheduled a  _date_  for him just before their… altercation. After a slight stall on his end from his father's introduction of him, Suzaku politely greets the parents of the woman he's to possibly marry with the appropriate bow.

The Emperor and the Prince haven't exchanged any words since their fight.

•-•

The dinner coasts along as well as it could, for a complete farce, Suzaku supposes. His father engages well with the Shinozaki  _husband_  and  _wife_  as they aren't exactly strangers, but the topics of conversation are still quite constrained. Nothing touchy or inappropriate. Suzaku, on the other hand, earns the uncomfortable yet subtle glancing glare now and then for being too quiet – for not talking more with their daughter, Sayoko. It isn't that he has anything against her, quite the opposite in fact. He's always greatly respected and liked her as a person, but his current circumstances aren't exactly fueling him with the desire to socialize with female marriage potentials.

Thinking back now, Suzaku realizes that his father had introduced him to a number of girls as he was growing up, many he came to understand were actually in the list, but Suzaku hadn't thought much of it at the time. Girls just didn't interest him, so it's no wonder he doesn't remember them. Shinozaki Sayoko, however, is one of few women Suzaku recognized from his father's list and also the only one he actually knows more on a personal level.

The Shinozaki family is a long, prestigious line of martial artists that continue to uphold and maintain such excellence to this day and are in a higher tier of the aristocratic world. Sayoko herself has earned her own set of accolades even if she isn't directly leading her clan. She is still a notable woman of impeccable repute and Suzaku can understand his father's choosing of her and that he wasn't wrong about Suzaku "getting along well" with her.

They met years ago when he was starting his teens and she came to the palace with her father to train Suzaku through what he later learned was a form of courtesy. She was still a pupil herself, polite and gentle even after she effectively demolished Suzaku is a few exercises. They've met from time to time on formal occasions since then but Suzaku wouldn't quite say they're friends. Good acquaintances. During stuffy functions, should they both be in attendance, they do gravitate towards each other, but it's only ever been platonic. Suzaku remembers thinking that he wouldn't have minded being friends with her, but with their age difference of 7 years it never seemed to quite come together.

And now she's up for marriage – although Suzaku assumes it's more about her parents than her. After all, she's always been quite content on her own.

Even so, she deserves a man who will love her, not something of convenience.

•-•

After dinner, the Emperor suggests showing Sayoko the garden and Suzaku has no real choice in the matter.

Because  _of course_.

_Women_  will solve Suzaku's  _problem_.

As if he's never,  _ever_ , seen one before…

•-•

"This place is still as immaculate and stunning as it was the last time I saw it." Sayoko pleasantly compliments as she walks beside Suzaku over a bamboo bridge arched over a fake stream. "It's like I've stepped into a painting." She stops them halfway, across from a small brook nearby and the constant, careless babbling of water speaks in their place as it trickles over black rocks and into the man-made bends.

Suzaku remembers when he was very, very young and he thought this palace and all its gardens were the entire world.

It hadn't seemed so claustrophobic back then.

"…Is there something bothering you, Suzaku?"

His leafy eyes flutter at her. "What do you mean?"

She simpers at him. "You haven't been yourself."

"…I'm sorry." Suzaku sighs, bracing himself against the red-stained railing of the bridge with both hands. "I don't mean to spoil the evening."

"You haven't." Her pacifying words are soft and cool, floating along the calm waters and across Suzaku's skin. The heat of the day has passed, melting into the western horizon with the washing blood of the dying sun, but the day itself has been mostly stagnant. No breeze. No movement. Just clinging suffocation. She seems to lessen some of his stress. "But, I suppose this is an unusual situation for us."

"It's nothing personal…" Suzaku quietly says, staring down at the calico fish swimming below them.

"I didn't think so." Sayoko is quite intuitive, Suzaku has learned. Comes with the family business. "And I want you to know that I'll always listen if there's anything you want to share."

Suzaku's gaze snaps to her face, traveling over the honesty of her copper eyes and modest smile. The way her aquamarine, jasmine-embroidered kimono brings out the subtle blue highlights of her black hair—

Unlike Lelouch's, whose hair hues veer more towards that of his rare irises—

And a heavy sigh heaves from his lungs until all the feelings he was trying to keep unnoticed pile up in a heap in front of him.

"I'm very sorry… This is a waste of your time."

"Pardon?"

"The truth is that… there's already someone I'm serious about, so…"

"Your father doesn't know?"

"…He does."

"…I see. It's a difficult matter, isn't it?"

Suzaku smiles very warmly at her. "You've always been so kind and I feel honored to know someone like you." Sayoko smiles at him in return. "I think that… if I wanted try being with women I would want to date you." But her smile slides right off her face, shoved down by a blank canvas of surprise.

She silently gapes at him for a  _little_  too long.

"…What?" Suzaku self-consciously scratches at the back of his neck. "Did I say something weird?"

"You just…" The words seem to tumble around delicately on her tongue. "You just said you  _don't_  like women?"

Well, yeah…

"…When you said "it's a difficult matter" I thought you understood."

Any tension that might or could have budded between them is cleanly snipped by her humored pattering.

"You're too much,  _Suza_!" she laughs. "Such genuineness… I hope you  _never_  change." And she touches his face with tender adoration.

For the first time this sweltering day, Suzaku feels a fresh breath of air in his tight chest.

•-•

Looking on from a distance, an Emperor is given a mistaken breath of relief as he watches his son smile and laugh with a nice, respectable, Japanese woman.

•-•

_Suzaku's teal, black-cross-hatched kimono is open and draped over only one, muscular thigh as the other lies bare in their spreading position, an undeniable hump present under his usual, plain gray shorts_ —

Is filling out the screen on Lelouch's phone when Tohdoh swiftly marches into the room.  _Not_  unannounced, of course. Lelouch waves off the security guards who accompanied the Japanese man.

"Tohdoh." Lelouch greets with a gracious smile as he swings his feet off of his walnut-wood desk in his home office and stuffing his mobile into the pocket of his plum blazer. "To what do I owe the pleasure of having a rare and unaccompanied personal visit?"

The older man appears to side-eye that question. "Whatever it is that you're doing about Suzaku, I want to know."

"What do you mean?" Lelouch asks, eyes gleaming in front of the warm, sunny glow through the layers of creamy, sheer curtains on the window behind him.

"Cut the act – I  _know_  you're planning something."

"And why is that?" Lelouch laces his fingers together under his chin as he sets his elbows on his desk.

"Because you don't let anything stop you. But, if this time is  _different_ , then…"

"Then?"

" _Then_ ," the battle fury that is Japan's Legendary Sword spears Lelouch on the spot without hesitation, "it will take  _much_  more than your  _Knight_  to keep me from showing you the same pain Suzaku will feel if you abandon him now."

Lelouch appears quite pleased with that response, leaning back in his tall, black leather chair.

"Do you know what is at Emperor Genbu's heart?" the Britannian prince asks with a causal wave of his hand, nonchalantly relaxed under the shadow of a threat. "It's his greatest strength but also his greatest weakness."

Tohdoh considers. "…His country."

"His country _men_." Lelouch tweaks with a complacent smile.

"…And?"

" _And_ , have you ever heard the expression: a way to a man's heart is through his stomach?" Lelouch asks with a sharp smirk. "In this case, it isn't his  _stomach_  that we need to appeal to."

•-•

"It looked like you got along well." Suzaku's father says with great pleasure once he and his son are encased in his office; the flag of their country watching them as always. "Good."

"Actually, I told her I already have someone else I love." Suzaku easily replies with a considerable tinge of resentment. "And that it's not a woman."

"You—" Genbu stops mid-way through the room, irritation firm around his mouth. "How long will you insist with this insolence? It's bad enough you carry on your stubbornness privately, there's no reason to go inviting trouble elsewhere."

"It's the truth. I'm not going to lie to her or anyone else." Suzaku could blame his sharpness on the heat affecting his head, but he won't.

"It isn't a topic you should be discussing with  _anyone_."

"I'm not ashamed."

"You should be."

Suzaku saw the storm clouds, the suffocating and tumultuous gray that rolled over the horizon, but he didn't see that shock of lightning that would pierce right through him.

_You should be_ _ashamed_ _…_

It stops Suzaku's heart and sucks the feeling out of his body from his feet—

"Now, about your lessons…" Suzaku's father turns his back on him to walk around his desk. "Your tutors have been telling me that you're not attending and not participating properly when you do."

_You should be_ _ashamed of what you are_   _…_

—until he's a cold and empty shell.

"I won't tolerate this petty defiance—"

" _No_."

Genbu immediately slings his eyes at Suzaku before he sits.

It's the first time he's ever said that word to his father (at least, the first time he can remember saying it); and even though it was too strained to plow from his mouth without snapping his father's leash taut around his neck, it's still  _there_.

The only word never permitted for children to say to their parents.

The word that no  _disciplined_  child would ever utter.

Yet, while the forbidden word lands between them like Mt. Fuji, it's only a mountain on top of another mountain that has always existed.

"Why don't you  _tell_  me why it's so  _shameful_?" Suzaku's nerves are razors to his voice, slicing whatever composure that damn sun hasn't already burnt to ash. (Doesn't the colour red incite hostility?)

His father's glare is severe and yet stony. "I have made it  _very_  clear that such  _activities_  aren't befitting—"

" _Such activities?_ " Suzaku scornfully repeats. "We haven't done anything different from  _normal_  couples." Suzaku has always  _hated_  that term – something so  _unequal_  that's so easily accepted in use. "So  _tell_  me! Don't I deserve to know what is so  _wrong_  with me being this way?"

"I don't like the  _tones_  you've taken on, Suzaku." Genbu's warning grates from his throat. "Watch yourself."

What, the tones of  _assertion_?

The  _loss_  of subservience?

"Why won't you answer the question?" Suzaku isn't backing down. "I'm not ashamed, but you obviously are."

"I'm not getting into this with you again." Genbu is as dismissive as he always is but this time there's a tang of annoyance. But he isn't the only one…

_It's unnatural_  – is what Suzaku is waiting to hear plunge from his father's lips like a cannon ball, but he must be holding it back.

Why?

He wasn't so tight-lipped about this  _before_.

"…Why won't you tell me?" Suzaku can hear the defeated waver in his voice but he can't contain it – it's just a helpless ripple right through him.

His father doesn't look at him.

Doesn't acknowledge him.

And Suzaku feels his breath quake as he inhales to sharpen his nerves.

But a cold shudder is all that seems to ice his blood.

"Is it that you just can't accept that we could  _really_  be in love with each other? That's it's  _unconditional_?" This uneasy chill is brimming at his eyes, and he can't see clearly – aside from that red hot son. "That two men can love each other…?"

The Emperor wordlessly watches his son push at the tears in his eyes.

Say it.

Say it's  _unnatural_.

That's it's  _wrong_.

That it's a  _perversion_.

_Just say it._

"…I believe you believe that."

Suzaku looks to the words that seem to place themselves in calculated drops between father and son – not quite stepping stones, not quite walls.

Suzaku swallows the throbbing knot in his throat and looks away from his father and their flag. "And that's the problem, isn't it?"

"You're getting behind in your studies." The unbearable scratching of his father's pen writhes in Suzaku's ears. "Get back to it."

_Scratch_ —

And Suzaku stands with hands that fist at his sides.

— _Scratch_ —

Feeling a cold, empty pit expand and shrink around him at the same time.

— _Scratch_

Suzaku knows why he was born.

He knows his purpose.

But it's never been a comfort.

Far from it.

Why does his father always have to use the same old deflections?

"I've always done exactly as you asked." Those ripples that have pooled in Suzaku's mouth are finally breaking free with a surge. "I've never questioned you, never disobeyed you and never,  _ever_  stepped out of the lines you drew. I know I'm not the son you  _wanted_ , but I can't change that." Tears are a waste and anger is too strong. "I've tried. All I've ever done is try to change for you. Not for anyone else. But you know what? It's  _never_  been good enough." All these thoughts he's kept in his chest, a ticking time-bomb, are no longer content to stay as there were – like skeletons in a closet.

"Suzaku—"

"I could live my  _whole_  life trying to be like you, but I never will be." It takes too much to stay idle and compliant. "And now, when I have someone who's  _never_  asked me to change anything, who makes me feel  _worth_  something and  _happy_ , I can't be with him? Because he's a man?  _This_  is what I am and I'm  _not_  changing!" Sooner or later, somewhere or something has to give.

"Suzaku!" Genbu calls, vainly, after his son who storms out of his office…

Sighing heavily to himself in his newfound isolation with a tired palm wiping across his brow. He picks up the black telephone on his desk, dials and pushes it against his ear.

•-

-•

Suzaku,  _you're too emotional_.

Suzaku,  _you're too sensitive_.

Suzaku,  _you're too naïve_.

_And now you're a—!?_

Always. Ever since he was a child. There's always been something needing fixing with him.  _Always_. And Suzaku always believed it.

Always.

Why can't Suzaku just be who he is?

What's wrong with him?

Lelouch never told him he needed to change. Lelouch loves him for who he is. Helps Suzaku to love himself.

Why is there something wrong with him?

Suzaku loves Lelouch.

Why is that wrong?

•-

-•

Why?

•-

-•

As if through some sort of supernatural, psychic ability, Lelouch retaliates against Suzaku's forced date.

Suzaku, of course, learns of it through Kaguya who springs on him during dinner, singing of the news like a trumpeter.

It seems  _Lelouch vi Britannia_  made his intentions clear to the whole damn world with a formal marriage proposal that "slipped" out into the public. There's no doubt in Suzaku's mind that it's intentional because Lelouch is the  _king_  of keeping secrets. Suzaku doesn't know what Lelouch is thinking, but he only seems to be kicking the ant bed and leaving Suzaku to get bitten.

Suzaku watches through a cycle of foreign and domestic news channels as reporters and anchors are frantically sinking their teeth into the story, searching for any morsel to satisfy theirs and the public's hunger. All of their words shuffle through Suzaku's ears, speculative theories and facts indistinguishable with the initial scoop that is snowballing into something global-sized…

The undeniable fact of the matter is that, despite the reserved nature of Japan's royalty and the controlled media surrounding them, Britannia's situation is much more liberal. They cover mostly what they please and it was only a matter of time before this mutual story spilled onto Japan's shores. In addition, because the two nations have built a friendly rapport, it is not unknown that the royal families have also done so. While the details are few, even on Britannia's end, that fact still remains.

With Britannia's royalty tree spreading much wider than Japan's it makes each and every prince's or princess' popularity entirely circumstantial. Lelouch was never in the forefront of the Britannian media like some of his more celebrated or scandalized siblings, but it won't take long for everything to unfold and reveal the truths shaping the story like it's stamped inside a carefully crafted origami creation –  _especially_  if Lelouch intends for such to happen.

_Lelouch's childhood spent in Japan._

_Lelouch's resulting friendship with Suzaku._

_Lelouch's schooling in Japan._

_And Suzaku's subsequent enrollment at the same school._

_Lelouch's frequent visits even after graduation._

_Lelouch's "unusual" move to Japan._

The  _facts_  still remain.

Even if they seem one-sided now, the pressure is being felt on Suzaku's father to respond.

•-

-•

Conversely, outright rejecting Lelouch's proposal isn't that simple…

•-

-•

Genbu is wearing a strong scowl of aggravation when Suzaku enters his office. He promptly turns off the news playing on a wall-mounted flat screen TV amid the frames when he notices his son, angrily clutching the remote.

They haven't spoken a word to each other yet again since after Suzaku's date with Sayoko. He doesn't expect anything he says will matter much this time either.

"I know what he's trying to do," the elder grumbles as he plops the remote on his desk, "and now, even though I am loath to do it, I have to play this little game with him."

Game?

"Politics. The  _media_  is his weapon of choice – a rather effective one." Genbu holds a pause as he notices his son's puzzled expression. "You have no idea what kind of man he is."

Suzaku furrows his brow. "Neither do you." –  _You still can't understand your own son._

"He's manipulating the entire country." A lifted eyebrow. "Is  _this_  the sort of person who has won your affections?"

Suzaku isn't going to answer such a trick –  _loaded_  – question.

"He's putting pressure on you." Suzaku shrugs, trying his best to appear indifferent – his father is acting as if their last conversation  _hasn't_  happened… Suzaku doesn't want to keep beating himself against a wall. "What of it?" But he doesn't know what else to do.

"No, it's much more than that. He's pulling strings until I sing and dance just the way he wants."

( _'Do you trust me?_ ') "He's not doing it to demean you. He's doing it for me."

Genbu scoffs. "And that makes it better? He'll pull the entire country – the world – into his little production for the sake of two people?"

"It's more than that…" Suzaku begins to seethe. "You think there aren't any gay people in  _your_  country?"

Camel brown eyes settle on Suzaku in a long pause.

The barren quietness of a desert heats between them.

Cooking them under a Japanese sun.

"Do you know Lelouch's kill count?" Genbu suddenly asks, supercilious in a way that makes it sound rhetorical.

"…What?"

Genbu takes another dubious-looking, bole-coloured folder from his desk and hands it to Suzaku. "I'm certain it's much higher than you'd guess."

Suzaku eyes his father with suspicion before opening the folder…

And his brow creases.

Fiercely.

"What… is  _this?_ "

"Something about your little hypothetical." The Emperor sounds too confident. "After a little digging, aside from trivial information,  _this_  surfaced."

Suzaku can feel his core go molten as his narrowed eyes scan down the pages and pictures…

Mission reports and files…

Numbers.

Names.

"It seems you really didn't know, did you?" Genbu speaks with a subtle note of satisfaction that Suzaku has never heard in his words. "The simple fact of the matter is this: there was a very minor rebellion brewing in the southern Britannian continent and Lelouch was the driving force in quashing it before it could grow or become a bigger problem."

That's not so surprising, exactly…

Lelouch spent time working with the military.

Suzaku knew that already.

"What's your point?"

"Look at the report." Genbu is stone-faced. "The  _point_  is that he is responsible for burying an entire mountain village alive. It was relatively small, but roughly 1000 lives were lost."

Suzaku shakes his head, slapping the folder closed and tossing it onto his father's desk. "He  _wouldn't_ —"

"But he  _did_." Genbu presses, flipping open what his son refuses to see and holding up a picture of an avalanche of boulders, rocks and dirt on top of battered houses and shattered glass, blood and severed limbs. "You remember that 'tragic landslide'? There was nothing  _natural_  or  _accidental_  about it." Genbu trades the picture for one of Lelouch, a formal portrait of him in his regal whites. "You think he's some sort of  _saint_?"

Suzaku's face tightly crinkles.

He  _does_  remember that incident. He even spoke with Lelouch not long after hearing the news… Lelouch didn't sound too broken-hearted. He was sympathetic like any outsider to the disaster would be, but… Does Lelouch sounding like his usual self make him more or less suspicious—?

_No_.

Suzaku  _won't_  question Lelouch.

( _'Do you trust me?_ ')

"But there's even more to the story than that." Genbu continues as if smearing salt on the wound. "Before? When Lelouch was  _traveling_? What do you think he was doing?"

No.

Suzaku isn't going to fall for his father's ploy…

This isn't about  _Lelouch_.

It's about  _something_   _else_  that he can't face.

"He was man-hunting. Killing connections. Burning whatever bridges the rebels might've had. Responsible for  _dozens_  more deaths. And for what, exactly?"

Yes… Suzaku remembers when Lelouch was traveling – he couldn't seem to stay in one place for too long and it was difficult to stay in touch, as it had been when he was doing his military work… Suzaku just thought Lelouch was restless and searching for something…

But, to be searching for  _this—_?

No! No!  _No!_

Suzaku can't believe it!

(Suzaku doesn't want to believe it!)

And yet… the mission statements – some of Lelouch's  _handwriting_  confirming the losses of this and that, of accomplished goals – and unsavory pictures of the dead,  _eliminated_   _targets_ …

Just what the  _hell_  is this…?

( _But a choking grip clamps on his neck below his Adam's apple—_

_And then he's a coughing mass on the floor…_

… _Suzaku knows Lelouch has learned some form of self-defense on his mother's insistence despite having a Knight… He's even seen the pistol Lelouch carries but never in use…learn about the vulnerabilities of the human body and how to exploit them…he could still do some damage – and combined with the pistol, now that Suzaku thinks about it… This cool prince has just become exceedingly more dangerous._ )

"Do you understand, now, Suzaku?" His father's voice is more than an echo is Suzaku's head. His words have pried at something they were never supposed to touch and now he can feel a well of misplaced insecurities spring up through the cracks—

No…!

Lelouch—Lelouch  _wouldn't_  do this!

He's  _not_  a murderer.

(But what is the explanation for this?

What reason would be good enough?)

"I'm assuming this wasn't entirely easy to find. So, how did you?" Suzaku asks, wondering if he's feeling his hands blister as he tightly grasps at straws.

"I have my resources," Genbu cryptically answers and leaves it at that.

It's  _not_  good enough.

"I don't believe it." Suzaku  _can't_. He  _just_   _can't_.

"Doesn't matter what you believe. It's all there in black and white."

Suzaku stares down forlornly at the files – dates he remembers hearing Lelouch's distant voice on the phone.

Pictures – times when Lelouch sent snapshots of scenic, foreign places.

Reports – when Lelouch couldn't text him for days on end.

Numbers – how Lelouch never spoke in specifics about what he was doing.

( _The fact is that there's a side of Lelouch's life that Suzaku doesn't know_ —

"… _He might not be able to show it, but he cares…In his own way.")_

This  _again_? But  _this_  isn't…

Could this really be more about the Emperor's fatherly concern than an inability to accept the "flaw" with his son—?

(Could it be that because he's similar to Lelouch he doesn't trust him?)

"This man, your  _friend_  – a  _Britannian prince_. Is he really worth all your loyalty?"

Wha—!?

Is he  _serious_?

This isn't about Suzaku's  _loyalty_ —!

Suzaku's eyes catch on a  _name_  list for the knightmare squad under Lelouch's supposed command—

"Can I…" he gingerly reaches for the folder, "…take this?"

A suspicious gleam flickers through his father's eyes, but he shrugs as if unsure of why he should be wary.

"You won't be able to ask  _him_  about any of this – not that I expect he would be forthcoming with you."

"No, I know. That's not it." He carefully sweeps any spilled pages and pictures into the folder and clasps it like a mouse with a speck of food. "I just… want to make more sense of this."

Genbu gives a curt nod. "The sooner the better."

Suzaku's jaw clenches as he tries his best not to scurry out of his father's office.

The sooner the better,  _indeed_.

•-

-•

However speculative the initial reaction to Lelouch's proposal, it never takes long for such "sexual" issues to gather a crowd and for that crowd to organize on their respective stances.

That's exactly what has begun to happen. Britannia is a whirlwind of opinions while Japan seems to be holding its tongue more. Still, certain  _groups_  are already banning together support for even  _possible_  perceptions of Suzaku as are those who're fearful of degrading morality. Repressed sexuality has always been just a way of life in Japan. Now, with the possibility of their precious prince being in the same shackles… the sun looks as though it will rise on change.

It's only a matter of time before things get out of control.

•-

-•

The Japanese Emperor is dutifully at work in his office as he always is when Tohdoh enters the room with purpose, slowing to a stop in front of the bulky wooden desk.

"Tohdoh." Genbu greets, a bit dourly, without lifting his eyes. "If you're here to rehash our previous discussion…"

"I know our last conversation wasn't…" Tohdoh trails, uncertain on how to finish that statement. "Look, regardless of everything else, I'm just asking you to listen. You've always respected my opinion. You've always trusted me. That honors me, truly, and you're not obligated to follow my encouragement, but if you really do still have faith in me as I have had with you, then you'll consider what I have to say."

A soft sigh of resignation passes through Genbu's chest before he sets down his pen. "It's become much more complicated, you understand."

"I do. Even so…" Tohdoh lifts a large white book with gold trim. "I feel you'll better understand all of it if you see it with your own eyes."

One of Genbu's thick eyebrows lifts inquisitively as he takes the book and opens it to reveal that it's no more than a photo album.

"…What is this?" the Emperor grouses a bit.

"Just look. What do you see?"

He is not amused. "They're pictures of Suzaku."

"Yes. But what about him in the pictures?"

"I'm not going to play games with you." Genbu grumbles, lines of annoyance creasing around his eyes. "If you have something to say, just say it."

Tohdoh merely points from across the desk. "Look."

They're all various images of Suzaku as a child with the vi Britannia siblings – mostly with Lelouch.

"What of it?"

"Keep going. Look at him."

Genbu unenthusiastically flips a few more pages. Pictures of Suzaku covered in dirt, his wide eyes and his gap-toothed mouth pass under his eyes—

"Have you ever seen him  _smile_  like that?"

—One after another, candid shots of Suzaku and the western prince as they play…

_Suzaku and Lelouch in a sea of sunflowers: hand in hand as they climb up a small cliff._

_Suzaku and Lelouch under the shade of a tree: Suzaku laughing as he points a bug on a stick at a very unhappy Lelouch._

_Suzaku and Lelouch eating ice cream: pink dripping messily over Suzaku's fingers as he hurries to lap it up while an immaculate Lelouch laughs._

"…Where did all of these come from?" Genbu finally asks, eyes shifting quickly over each picture as he turns each page. Seeing his son grow with each scene. Seeing his entire childhood captured in glossy prints.

"Empress Marianne took many of the ones when they were younger, I believe. But I assume the ones of them in school were by his friends and classmates."

The crisp black of matching Ashford uniforms are a drastic jump from a bare-foot child to a baby-faced teen – a definite time-gap from kid to teenager, but the images are largely the same.

_Suzaku and Lelouch in a kitchen: a serene smile on Suzaku's lips as he and Lelouch work back to back._

_Suzaku and Lelouch in a group photo with five other students: Suzaku's arm slung around Lelouch's neck with a wide grin._

_Suzaku and Lelouch on a rooftop: a self-taken photo by Suzaku with their temples touching and him winking while Lelouch complacently half-smirks._

"Do you see it?" Tohdoh asks, hopefully insistent. "Do you see how happy he is? Personally, I had  _never_  seen Suzaku so happy. That's still true on most days even now."

"…Suzaku's  _emotions_  on the subject are not unclear." Genbu says at length but doesn't pull his eyes away from the pictures.

"…I suppose not." Tohdoh quietly agrees sounding somewhat deflated. "But I seem to remember the current Japanese Emperor not being too different from Suzaku when  _he_  was young."

Genbu can only seem to hum noncommittally at that.

"I know how it can seem. Your concerns about Lelouch are understandable, but misplaced. If you had seen them, through all these years or even now, you would know. There is more to him than what's on the surface, but the same can be said of anyone else. These two?" He gestures to the pictures. "It runs deeper than you know. I've watched over Suzaku. I've watched their relationship. If you still believe in me, then you won't dismiss me when I say that this isn't as harmful as it seems."

"Suzaku is my only son. He has a responsibility as a prince." Genbu closes the album with a strong  _clap_  and sets it to the side of his papers.

"Yes, I understand that. He does as well. But… Times are changing. It would be unwise to bludgeon yourself against it."

"Adapt or die?"

"That's… not how I would put it." Tohdoh shakes his head. "Besides all that, if you look at this from the perspective of just a  _father_ , not an Emperor, what do you see? What do you feel? This is about  _Suzaku_. He understands his position. I think you owe it to him to try to understand where he's coming from rather than just shutting him down. If you  _really_  care for him, you'll consider this."

Genbu's dusty, dirt-toned eyes flit briefly over the photo album, but his pen is all that his fingers reach to grasp.

"Suzaku is becoming his own person. What do you think will happen when he becomes Emperor?" Tohdoh continues before any scribbling can be had. "He might be an old man by then, but he'll  _wait_  and hold onto his belief until then if he must."

"What,  _exactly_ , are you implying?" Genbu sharply asks as if the other man placed something disgusting on his tongue.

"The fact of that matter is this;" Tohdoh is unfazed but his dark, focused eyes bear a spark of urgency, "embrace him or lose him."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who’s been reading and left kudos/subscribed/bookmarked! I hope all of you are enjoying the story so far!!

_I packed my bag, I'm on my way_

_I am prepared for any season_

_I am prepared to stay_

_Here is my heart, my beating heart_

_Oh, how I'm longing for this love affair to start_

_How I'm longing for this love affair to finally start_

-•-

Land of the Rising Son

Part 4

Suzaku observes the news privately from his quarters.

Little more than a week has passed since the unveiling but Lelouch has been smart about keeping himself out of the public eye through the scandal. Without an official statement one way or another, everyone is left  _wondering_. Conclusions build all on their own, false or not, but his silence only seems to strengthen the authenticity. What was initially treated and speculated to be some juvenile prank has matured into something much more serious. And with the inevitable fact in-pour of the princes' shared history…

It appears to be going just as Suzaku thought it might. (Which isn't something he often gets to say.)

However, Suzaku has a hard time believing Lelouch would unleash  _Clovis_  on the matter…

Nonetheless, the older brother has stepped forward in a rather offhanded interview with a well known Britannian journalist – not Milly, and Suzaku figures that's because she's too close to the story – where he reveals, other than his apparent love for himself with his constant self-checks in the monitor, that he knew of a "supposed" relationship between the two princes. Clovis seems to pride himself more in the fact that he was in the loop instead of being informative – but then it all makes it a lot more sense. Clovis is vain, but he isn't stupid. If Lelouch allowed him this moment in the sun then it must've been clear between them that his role as an informant should be minor at best. In short, Clovis gets the exposure he likes while also feeding the story without directly involving Lelouch or Suzaku  _or_  any of their intimate details.

Suzaku isn't sure if it's clever or not. What he does know is that all the new information certainly puts dates with suitors to shame, so he hasn't had any – although he still wonders why his father isn't fighting against all this as much as he can. Like he had been. Just as well, because Suzaku has a bigger problem at the moment.

He's been busy dissecting what was presented to him by his father; documents, forms and photos splayed out on his desk while the news drones quietly in the background. Suzaku briefly considered calling Lelouch about this because he's fairly certain he can manage another stolen moment with Kaguya's cell – briefly because he knew Lelouch wouldn't be…  _honest_. While that is worrisome in its own way, it's also the least effective method of proving anything. Tangible proof and undeniable facts are the only currency his father takes, so it's what Suzaku will work to gain.

His lead is little more than faith in Lelouch and a name on a sheet of paper. Suzaku starts by pulling the profile; a picture of a  _red-haired, blue-eyed young woman_  whose convictions also hold his faith that this rebellion isn't what it seems.

That it could be much more.

•-

-•

"It's…So… _Hot_ …" Kaguya's complaint barely takes flight from her lips as she flaps her wooden fan at her face. She's sprawled out on a sofa in a sitting room and stripped to the bare minimum of a tank top and shorts with her hair bundled up in a messy bun. "Why couldn't Suzaku's birthday be in a  _cooler_  season?"

"Yours isn't any cooler." Tohdoh placidly notes from his stance at the window, looking out at the garden. His hands are firmly clasped behind his starchy back.

"Well, when my birthday comes I'll complain then, too. Don't you worry."

"Drink your ice water." Chiba says from a nearby cushioned armchair. "You'll feel better."

"I'd rather  _swim_  in it." Kaguya wines as she lazily wags her fingers at the misty glass of water on the table in front of the couch,  _just_  out of reach. "But I just can't go to the beach without Suzaku and he's  _still_  holing up in his room."

"About that… Are you sure this is ok?" Chiba stands up and passes the glass to the girl suffering heat-induced lethargy. "He's been in there for days."

Tohdoh's eyes stare at the sun-scorched plants and flowers until Chiba's worried reflection appears in the window, her minty plaid yukata brisk against the sunny spread outside.

"He knows his limits. I trust he'll be fine. It's something he has to do himself."

Chiba frowns. "That doesn't make it any better. If anything that makes it worse."

"I know." Tohdoh solemnly agrees with a slight hang of his head. "But this has reached a point where only father and son can tread."

"I suppose so…" Chiba's quietly murmurs, expression not lifted, only resigned to a purse of discontent.

Kaguya, on the other hand, snorts quite loudly. "How  _dramatic_  of you, Tohdoh!"

And it makes Chiba chuckle, her smile carving strongly in the pale reflection on the window, bursting a huff of laughter from Tohdoh's chest before he glances at his wife with a sympathetic smile.

•-

-•

The eastern prince invades the Emperor's office like a charging bull seeing red.

"You were wrong." Suzaku curtly informs as he drops the same bole-coloured folder that started this with a  _plap_  on the desk.

Genbu glances between it and his son with suspicious scrutiny –  _don't tell me you've been wasting your time on this_.

"That 'minor rebellion' wasn't a rebellion at all." Suzaku iterates each word on the flow of his irritation. "The truth is that they were drug lords that also dabbled in human trafficking. Their primary objective was manufacturing and distributing  _Refrain_  to the rest of the world. A highly illegal psychotropic drug that—"

"I  _know_  what it is." Genbu nearly growls.

Fair enough. "Well, upon closer investigation it was discovered that they were root of the drug itself."

"Is that so?" his father doesn't sound impressed as he lazily flips through the files.

Suzaku clenches his jaw.

He's not a child showing his father someone caught in the cookie jar.

"Am I wasting my breath? Maybe I should just toss all of that hard work into a fire now and save you the effort after I leave."

"Stow the attitude." Genbu rigidly warns, stabbing at Suzaku's nerves with a tongue like an icicle – but waves Suzaku along, surprisingly. "Continue."

"The gist of it is this: Her Highness Cornelia li Britannia was sent to the southern Britannian continent, which has always been a little… unstable. Lelouch joined her. Through spies they soon discovered it was the underground  _Refrain_  ring and consequently bumped into an Interpol agent—"

" _Interpol_?" Genbu skeptically glares at the pages in his hands; a cryptic codename for a green-haired, amber-eyed woman without any real background information. "They don't involve themselves in the military or politics—"

"Because it  _wasn't_  politics." Suzaku vehemently reminds. "It had  _nothing_  to do with what you thought. Yes, there's still unrest in that part of the country but it wasn't nearly as severe as a rebellion – that was a farce enforced and incited by the criminals like a smoke screen. They were trying to use the people to cover their movements because they knew Interpol was catching up. The village caught in the landslide was a small-scale but busy manufacturing plant with a network across the entire globe. Lelouch even worked closely with the same agent to chase down criminals that fled after the landslide and he shut down their extensions, crippling the drug's lifelines." Suzaku takes a breath. Furrows his brow. "It wasn't about cold-blooded murder."

"…This still doesn't explain Lelouch."

"It says it all right there." Suzaku waves his hand at the file and leans back on one foot. "Her Highness Cornelia li Britannia was in charge of determining the severity of the situation. Lelouch has beyond exemplary marks in every strategic combat simulation he's ever done. I imagine she wouldn't have objected to his cooperation in containing the situation. If you're inquiring about his  _intentions_ , I think he was searching for his calling."

"Is that so?"

"Yes." Suzaku doesn't doubt that. "But he didn't find it there, did he? In the end he came back to be with me. The  _Refrainers_  were heavily fortified to the extent that military force was needed. That's why they aided in removing the enemy. Apparently there were complications, I'm not sure, but the easiest course of action was to drop rocks on them even though some did escape. They kept as much about it as clandestine as they could to prevent hurting their intelligence in tracking the network."

"How does this not qualify as a rebellion?"

Suzaku falters.

When his father mentioned a rebellion Suzaku assumed he meant something along the lines of "the oppressed against their oppressors" not "armed thugs just looking to weigh their pockets."

"I don't know  _all_  the specifics. I scrounged and fought for what I did find and it's  _more_  than I would've thought or hoped I could."

Genbu hums. Almost a disappointed grunt that hits Suzaku like a hammer. "…So what's to say any of this is even true?"

"You're not the only one with  _resources_." Suzaku sneers. " _Stadtfeld Kallen_? She was a classmate of Lelouch's and mine as well. All this time I had wondered where she was and hoped she was safe – clearly, she's been taking very good care of herself. Even though she enlisted in the Japanese military she's proficient at Knightmare piloting and was sent to train with Britannians. From there she was pulled by Lelouch and they worked together, but, there was only so much she was  _allowed_  to tell me. Doesn't matter. She was more than helpful. Only  _one_  link in the chain. …You can follow up on it, if you want. I've written down  _every_  person I've spoken too, what they told me, where they pointed me  _and_  how you can contact them."

"Assuming that I can follow your notes to the same end."

"It wasn't easy, but you're the  _Emperor_. I'm sure you could find out even more than I could – don't know why you didn't in the first place. Didn't want to, I guess."

Genbu glowers but doesn't take the bait. "And you have no qualms about any of his actions – or even if this rebellion had been real?"

Suzaku scowls.

Why does his father insist on turning this into something it isn't?

Always twisting  _this_  into  _that_  in avoidance.

"…I don't necessarily agree with his methods"—Lelouch has always been more radical than Suzaku—"but he accomplished something that's unprecedented and thought virtually impossible. He helped in shutting down the entire  _Refrain_  circulation in as little as one year despite an organization like  _Interpol_  having been on the case for more than a decade."

"So the ends justify the means?"

"You should know that better than anyone, shouldn't you?" Suzaku emphatically shakes his head to bypass that subject. "Look, you're not going to try and turn me against him just because you don't  _like_  what's happening. I  _know_  him and I  _love_  him. Unless you're willing to have a  _legitimate_  discussion about  _that_ , I'm done with this petty game."

His father doesn't respond and Suzaku feels himself swallowed up in the silence.

Can feel his skin burning under the spotlight of a nation as seen through his father's eyes—

Eye that can't even seem to  _look_  at him.

Suzaku fists his hand, feeling his blood boil through his veins. "If you  _can't_  accept me as I am, then… Maybe I'll spare you the embarrassment of having a son like me. I could leave, let all of you appoint someone who  _you_  think is capable of caring for  _your_  country."

"Traipsing into absurdities are we?" Genbu sighs.

Suzaku laughs, a sourly sardonic hiss that curls his lips and flares his father's eyes. "I'm being serious. If I surrender my right to the throne I can be with Lelouch and you can find someone more suitable to replace you. Everyone'll be happy."

"That isn't how it works. Don't be so naïve." His father's voice is level but at least Suzaku has reeled in those brown eyes.

"No?" Suzaku is still smiling but it's cuttingly condescending, painful even to his own lips. "I don't have to be a prince or the next emperor – the right to refuse is about the only one I have."'

"Do  _not_  threaten me." Genbu slams his palm down on his desk. "And stop behaving like a petulant child."

Suzaku scowls. "I'll be  _20_  years old very soon, a legal adult in  _this_  country regardless of how you see me. And if you  _want_  to see me, then you should take this more seriously – I've already drawn up all the necessary paper work, which took some  _real_  effort to gather. I gave you the copies." Suzaku gestures with a jut of his chin and his father, after a begrudging pause, rummages for the forms. "Just imagine the scandal: the only son of the Japanese Emperor denies his birthright to marry a Britannian Prince because he wasn't allowed to under the crown." A sickening smile rakes across Suzaku's lips like nails on a chalkboard. "What would people think of that – of  _you_  – I wonder?"

The red sun is outlining his father's eyes again.

Indignant.

_Insulted_.

"You are way  _out_  of line." The Emperor's voice is a heavy ricochet in Suzaku's bones (in his little box) but he doesn't flinch. "I won't tolerate much more of you—"

"It's just  _politics_." Suzaku bites off his father's words without fear – the sharp end of his patience sawing clean through all the good manners with which his father bound him. "And you won't have to  _tolerate_  me much longer. You have until my birthday to decide what it is you want to do, because I know what  _I'm_  doing." Just as he's at the mouth of the office's entrance, he turns only to pin his father with a snarling eye over his shoulder. "And maybe next time you'll make sure to get  _all_  the facts before you try to prove some ill-conceived point, yeah?"

Once Suzaku is clear of the room, his father leans back in his creaky wooden chair and huffs.

…A faint touch of something prideful bending his lips.

•-•

Suzaku doesn't stop marching until he's closed up in his bathroom – hidden away from the guards assigned to watch him and the one posted inside his room – with only the sound of his heartbeat following him in the darkness. He splashes icy water against his face to quiet the rushing pulse in his skull and heating his face, releasing a shuddering breath when he notices his hands are shaking. He tightly balls them until his skin is pulled white over his knuckles. He gasps again, tangling his fingers and pressing them against his forehead as his heartbeat flushes down the drain with the running water.

Suzaku wasn't bluffing.

Not exactly.

He'll do what he feels he needs do, but he doesn't  _want_  to leave. Suzaku thinks that his "desertion" will only cause more problems than it will solve in the end and he hopes his father recognizes that.

_Before_  it's too late.

•-

-•

Suzaku wasn't sure he understood Lelouch's motive when this began, but now, as he sees so many of his people giving their support, Suzaku thinks he understands.

It's not about Suzaku.

It's not about Lelouch.

It's not about Japan.

It's about everyone.

The Emperor is a person of fairness. Logic. Rationality. But he serves his people just as they serve him. He trusts in them to choose their futures as they trust in him to shape it into reality. He looks to them for guidance. Nothing is perfect. But the Emperor works day and night forever trying to reach perfection.

Suzaku's father fears what he perceives to be a dangerous flaw in his son because that's what he was been told to believe when he was young, but  _now_ …? Lelouch knew His Majesty Genbu doesn't like civil unrest, so he let the people speak just as they always have – and they've mostly accepted Suzaku. According to the latest poll Suzaku saw on same-sex marriage, more than half of their people were for it – a shift from some years before when the larger half wasn't on board. So if all these people want their beloved Prince to be as he is, and it inspires them to be as they are, the Emperor can't really deny them of that, can he…?

An interesting approach for Lelouch, Suzaku admits. Different, but interesting. Britannia only appears to be more interested in Lelouch's choice being  _Crown Prince Suzaku Kururugi_  than just another man. The Western beast is largely more lenient when it comes to their royal's partnerships even if same-gendered ones are mostly treated as "rebellious phases," as Lelouch has said. The social dynamics of everyday life has shifted greatly for the common people, not unlike Japan. However,  _unlike_  Japan, there are few restrictions still posed on same-sex couples and they are able to marry – a change earned only within this decade but that's still well ahead of their insular Eastern ally.

Suzaku just hopes –  _wishes_  – that his father will stop overlooking his son and this topic as some sort of tantrum, turncoat tactic…

•-

-•

Suzaku stares dully at his reflection in the full-length mirror in front of him in his changing room, frowning somewhat at the heavy, jet-black silks and pearly white collar and under-layers of his kimono – and not just because of the heat. He smoothes his hand down the sides of his chest, feeling how tightly his regal garments squeeze his lungs when he tries to breathe as deeply as possible. It was tailored for him, but only for his still posture. Like all of his clothes. His eyes hold and trace the yellow, tight-pinwheel flowers on both sides of his chest that look like a pair of suns lost in deep space. Only the Emperor and Suzaku are allowed to wear this crest…

Suzaku isn't sure what to expect after being summoned once again to join his father in another formal sitting room. A date, he would've guessed because his father has always been one to struggle more and more against what he perceives to be  _wrong_. But even that doesn't seem to be likely. All Suzaku has to go on is that he has to wear his  _most_  formal black kimono emblemized with the yellow  _Imperial Chrysanthemum_  – a crest that only the Emperor is allowed to wear, but he's long ago shared that privilege with his only child. Suzaku wasn't even this formal for his  _miai_  meeting with Sayoko, but today it's all  _five_  of them? – it just  _doesn't_  get more formal than this. Although Suzaku has frequently seen his father adorned in all their yellow blooms he can't remember the last time he himself has worn them with such distinction  _without_  meeting some one important.

So, Suzaku pretty much fears the worst. (He wonders of his father's retaliation to his threat at abandoning the throne, of course, but can't even begin to predict what the Emperor's plans – and doing so only plunges his gut to his feet where he nearly trips over it in trepidation.)

•-•

When Suzaku does join his father in the aforementioned room – an outdoor one for viewing the sprawling garden in the very heart of the palace – he finds his father is also decorated in all five of his  _mon_. Two on the chest, three across the back of his shoulders and spine just like Suzaku. Yeah, that doesn't make Suzaku feel any better. The Imperial Chrysanthemums look like the mane of a lion on his father where Suzaku just feels they look flashy and inappropriate on him.

Like they always have.

The Japanese Prince self-consciously shuffles towards his father with a respectfully ducked head as he's been raised to do when in this formal of a setting with the Emperor. His father doesn't speak, only briefly gestures with his hand for Suzaku to sit beside him in one of two identical chairs – ornately carved from some dark-stained wood rather than anything upholstered that could be damaged by the weather. Suzaku stares down at his tangled and clenching fingers while his stomach sloshes nauseously, bouncing his knee to keep from clicking the edges of his short thumbnails together – an old habit his father made sure he broke when he was younger; a crutch to replace biting his nails, which was previously  _fixed_.

The air is thick, humid.

His kimono is hot.

And his heart is beating so loud he's afraid his father can hear it.

Just as Suzaku is reminding himself to breathe, an attendant scuttles into the room and announces their  _guests_  have arrived. Suzaku stands with his father as their servant is about to formally introduce—

'I've come to make amends for the actions of my scheming son!' Empress vi Britannia enters with a  _flourish_  of midnight-blue and white, as bright and vivacious as her old nickname,  _Marianne the Flash_ , would imply; startling their little attendant into the background. 'You see, he's just too smart for his own good.'

Suzaku doesn't even have a chance to be confused—

Because Lelouch is right at her heels—

And Suzaku's body operates solely on reflex, nature superseding nurture with sparks flaring through his body like shooting stars as he scampers up to the other prince—

" _Suzaku_."

—managing to wrap an embrace around Lelouch even as his name oozes from his father's mouth with disapproval, but he doesn't let go.

He only squeezes more tightly.

'I've missed you so much.' he quietly whispers into Lelouch's ear, eyes clenched shut and fingers hooking into the back of Lelouch's formal tailcoat – feeling the Britannian's heart beat just as fast as his (comforted that if his father could hear his heart at least now he'll hear both of them.)

Lelouch smiles very softly and pats Suzaku's back with black-gloved hands.

Genbu bears a half-frown while Marianna wears a half-smile.

"Thank you for having us, Your Majesty." Marianne says, redirecting the Emperor's eyes as she passes by the two boys to shake his hand. 'I do hope we can settle this matter.'

Lady Marianne isn't big on formalities.

"…Yes, of course." Genbu responds, grabbing her bare hand for a firm shake and inviting her, and her son, to sit with him.

The Empress smoothes her long, billowed skirt underneath her as she settles where Suzaku was perched while Genbu settles his gaze on the princes. Lelouch tilts his head to a courteous angle as he's pulled to sit across from their parents in another set of twin wooden chairs. Marianne is tugging at the bottom of the snug, snowy, gold round-buttoned vest of her dress when she looks up, smirking very softly at the entrancement in their eyes; at the bridge of their conjoined hands between the arms of the chairs.

Suzaku can't let go of Lelouch's hand.

If he does…

(Will the sun fall out of the sky?

Will he be left in darkness?

Alone?

Again?

_Forever?_ )

_He just can't._

"Children, why don't you go play while the grownups talk, hm?" Marianne sweetly asks with a glimmer in her sapphire eyes that drift from the equally captured stare of the Japanese Emperor to their sons.

Suzaku opens his mouth but finds himself without a word to say at her smile and looks to his father.

Looks for approval.

'…If that's what you want.' Even Lelouch appears to falter at his mother's command.

'I think it would be for the best.' She holds her smile strongly in place with such confident authority that Suzaku can see her son inherited it from her.

Lelouch stands but Suzaku isn't so quick to move.

The stern gaze of his father holds him in place as if he's under a thumb.

But those old brown eyes slide away; a dismissive— _flippant_  flitting wave of permission telling him to  _go_.

Suzaku rises from his seat with measured poise, surprising himself at how calmly his body moves when every muscle in his body feels like a horse charging out of the starting gate. He bows for their guest, for his father, and leaves the room with his father's eyes on his back and Lelouch at his side.

Suzaku; wrapped up tightly in layers of tradition from shoulders to ankles, shining under the sun like liquid ebony. Three yellow flowers embroidered across his upper back like Orion's Belt.

Lelouch; a walking blue  _iris_  with long, sharp coattails falling behind his knees like swooning petals. Goldenrod edges his jacket and cuffs while lines of it stem down his legs and torso.

East and West held together by interlocking fingers.

Marianne waits until the princes' ears are far enough away, crossing her leg over the other before speaking. "I'll be frank: my son stepped on your toes, but he is an adult. I acknowledge responsibility as his mother,  _however_ , I'm not going to make excuses nor will I take it all back for him."

"And what of his father?"

"Charles has always been very supportive of our children and respectful of the relationship he has with you." She curtly responds, not  _at all_  appreciative of Genbu's needling. "Don't make this into something it isn't."

"You are quite a brazen woman." Genbu pulls his eyes away from Suzaku to her face.

"I'll take that as a compliment." She scrunches her nose at  _that_ , flicking long waves of onyx off her shoulders. "Now, I didn't come here to discuss politics and I won't allow you to slander my husband."

"Not talking politics will be difficult, considering how political this situation is."

"Only if you let it be that way. The point of all this is that my son wants to marry yours. I know his methods are not… sensitive, but he is sincere."

"You understand the full extent of what he's done, don't you?"

She arcs her eyebrow. "I understand the marriage proposal was intentionally released into the media, but you must understand that isn't uncommon in Britannia."

"This  _isn't_  Britannia. He cannot do as he pleases."

"Like I said, he stepped on your toes. You want a formal apology? He'll give you one. He understands his actions have consequences and he'll accept them."

Genbu is becoming irritated. "He created a  _scandal_."

Marianne is quiet a moment, body loosening in her chair.

"I understand that things are different, in your country, but what harm has come of this, exactly?"

"The manipulative nature your son's  _intentions_  are problematic." Genbu nearly growls. "You think I should turn a blind eye to that?"

"It sounds to me like he's opened your eyes." Marianne counters with a gleam that doesn't  _quite_  coat her nude lips with a sneer. "He isn't twisting your arm, and neither am I. If you think this is some sort of ploy to turn your people against you, then that's more than disconcerting – it's troubling. How could the open support of your son be a  _bad_  thing?"

•-•

"…What do you think they'll talk about?" Suzaku asks with a backwards, lingering glance of worry at their parents.

"I wouldn't worry about it." Lelouch says, keeping his sight forward. "She can be very persuasive."

"So… I take it that means she's fine with all this?" Suzaku tentatively pries. "I mean, with you and me, and…"

"Of course." he answers as if that's a needless –  _stupid_  – question. "She's my mother."

Is it really that simple?

"What about your father?"

"…He doesn't matter," Lelouch's supplies with a frosted, flat breath.

And Suzaku turtles up a little at that.

Lelouch never –  _willingly_  – speaks of his father and Suzaku has never been able to ask without immediately withdrawing. It's clear that family can be a touchy subject for Lelouch beyond his mother, sister and a few half-siblings. Lelouch has always understood the disparateness of Suzaku and his father and he figured that's because Lelouch is under a similar situation with his own father – perhaps they even bonded over it despite the western prince's closed mouth. It's just more troubling because it contradicts how Empress Marianne speaks so positively about her husband and his involvement with their children.

Suzaku clenches his jaw and just swallows the matter as he looks ahead.

"You know, I… actually worried I might not ever see you again." Not the best topic change, Suzaku realizes, but it's an honest concern.

"I told you I would handle this." Lelouch shields with a defensive tone.

"I know. But, my father…" Suzaku stops them on the exposed gravel pathway through the soft, lush grass and he looks into Lelouch's eyes with a bright, impish smile. "You have no idea how  _badly_  I want to kiss you right now."

"I think I have  _some_  idea." Lelouch smirks. "And it doesn't stop at kissing."

Suzaku's smile deepens before his evergreen eyes toss to the side with a woeful sweep when all he can do is squeeze Lelouch's slender hand and wonders, with great  _lament_ ,  _why_  he chose to follow the Britannian tradition of wearing gloves.

"…Maybe we  _should_  kiss."

" _What_?" Suzaku blurts – shorthand way of saying  _you can't possibly be serious_  – with a whip of his eyes.

"It might change the impression your father has on our relationship," Lelouch seductively shrugs, head tilting back towards the man mentioned. "What with him watching our  _every_  move…"

The eastern prince clenches his jaw, knowing well enough his father's eyes are that burning feeling on his skin and not the Japanese sun above them. He momentarily considers Lelouch's suggestion, though, wondering what effect it would have on his father – most that come to mind are negative. Perhaps it's that rebellious taste on his tongue that nearly convinces him to indulge, but he ultimately decides that a kiss, even a small and innocent one, might only do more harm than good.

Suzaku simpers and tugs Lelouch along by his hand. "I'd rather him think of this as being more  _innocent_  than what he already perceives."

"Well… can't blame me for trying." Lelouch murmurs, not sounding surprised but openly disappointed. It rekindles that fuzzy something warm in Suzaku's blood.

"That I can't."

They walk along deeper into the garden, bathed in sunlight of a maturing summer.

"Looking back," Lelouch says in a cool note, "three years was a long time to keep our secret."

"Yeah… but we didn't see much of each other for the past year." Suzaku wonders about everything he's learned of Lelouch from this past year but decides that now isn't the time to discuss it. "It was hardest during school." Suzaku wonders how he should even bring it up…

Lelouch hums. "True."

After all, if Lelouch  _wanted_  to talk about it he would have.

"And now the entire world is in on it." Suzaku says, a bit offhanded. "You couldn't have at least  _warned_  me about that?"

"I thought you like surprises." One corner of Lelouch's lips quirk at him.

"Not  _that_  kind."

"I'll keep that in mind." Lelouch sounds amused and only  _mildly_  apologetic.

"I don't understand why you couldn't just tell me. You announced our relationship to the entire world."

"Are you angry?"

"…Nnnot exactly…"

"Then what's the problem?"

The problem is that Suzaku should've been told when he asked. It's  _their_  relationship; he had a right to know. But, Suzaku supposes he'll just sit on this for now, too. He doesn't want to waste what little time he might have right now by picking at a troubling aspect of Lelouch's personality. The truth is that Suzaku understands that Lelouch is secretive by nature. He doesn't mean to be malicious. It's just the way he is. No, he isn't perfect, but he's the best prince charming Suzaku could ever have and the only one he'd ever want…

Suzaku shakes his head with a laugh that's much rowdier than he means it to be.

Lelouch curiously slides his gaze over the brunet.

"You are just too…" Suzaku sighs, eyes glittering at the man attached to the hand in his tight grasp. "I just really love you. A lot."

"…Not sure why that's funny." Lelouch murmurs.

"Because you're  _really_   _cute_." Suzaku grins.

Lelouch  _looks_  at Suzaku.

Looks away in thought.

And then  _looks_  at Suzaku again.

"You're not funny."

Despite Lelouch's bland insult, Suzaku laughs with another hardy shake of his belly. He should probably be more bothered that Lelouch took action on his own, but Suzaku has already forgiven him. Suzaku is so in love it's almost  _stupid_. And that makes Suzaku laugh with pure mirth because it's all he can do short of  _pouncing_  on Lelouch right this moment.

•-•

Looking on from a distance, an Emperor watches his son smile and laugh euphorically like he hadn't with that nice, respectable, Japanese woman.

"They do make a very cute couple, don't you think?" Marianne says as less of a question as she stands beside the Emperor at the edge of the room, watching their sons.

Genbu's gaze keeps him from replying.

The intertwining of bare fingers with gloved ones.

The exuberant smile on his son's face that doesn't wane.

"You really can't deny it." She insists, cheeky and sincere all at once as she playfully bumps him with her elbow. "And they look so happy."

Genbu is a bit startled by the lighthearted but unexpected jostle, momentarily losing his composure. "…I wouldn't expect you to have the same concerns as me."

"Concerns?" Marianne echoes not hiding her distaste.

"Suzaku is my only child. He is all that's left to lengthen our lineage."

"Then maybe you should've had more  _children_  if  _that_  is all that really matters to you." Marianne spits with derision so palpable is practically sears his skin and earns her a glance. "…Don't give me that look. You want to speak to me with a  _tone_  I'll give it right back to you – and I most certainly don't like what you're  _implying_." She tiredly scratches at her forehead with short, un-manicured nails. "Listen, I despise politics. I won't deny that Lelouch is privileged in that he doesn't have the same pressures as Suzaku, but that doesn't mean he's completely free of any burdens. You have  _no_  idea what it's like to be a child of the Britannian Emperor. It's no picnic, to say the least, and if you think so you are very,  _sorely_  mistaken."

"It was not my intention to insult you."

She appears to accept his sort-of apology, looking at the two princes once again. "I understand your situation. I won't tell you how to manage your life. But… my Lelouch has never been happier. I'll fight tooth and nail for him to keep it if I must." She glances at him sideways. "Sacrifice whatever I need to."

"I have no doubt of that."

"Of course." A sly grin. " _That's_  what loving your child means."

Genbu hums a vague sound but doesn't otherwise respond.

The vivacious sound of his son's laughter carries all the way to their ears like a songbird instead.

"Besides, it's not as though Suzaku can't still have children." Marianne crosses her arms with a casual shrug. "And if you're worried about Britannian influence through this marriage, that can be settled very easily as well."

The two princes take shelter from the sun on a black, metal bench under the shade of wide, webbing branches from a large oak tree.

"You must be coming around in some way to all this. You've let us visit you."

Genbu doesn't immediately respond.

Suzaku sandwiches Lelouch's hand between his on his lap, smiling as if  _nothing_  could ever take it away from him.

"…Seeing is believing." Genbu finally says.

"Oh?" Marianne's thin eyebrows rise and she follows the hard eyes of the man beside her that have cemented on the two princes.

Lelouch's arm extends to rest on the back of the bench. His eyes never stray from Suzaku.

"Change isn't always easy. But it  _always_  happens one way or another." Marianne smiles, gentle and coy. "Your people certainly seem to have accepted it, for the most part."

Suzaku's head tilts into the fingers that delicately tangle through his hair, his mouth curving like the tender bloom of a sweet flower.

"You don't want to be on the  _wrong_  side of history, do you, Emperor Kururugi?"

A heavy breath seems to seep from Genbu's chest as he rubs his chin.

Watching his son caress another man's cheek as their foreheads touch as if sharing a chaste kiss.

Suzaku's face is never without a smile.

•-•

'I'm assuming everything went well.' Lelouch says to his mother on the drive home in their white, mini limousine.

'A little too well.' She looks away from the tinted windows to quirk her lips at him. 'Kind of boring, really.'

'This isn't for your entertainment.' He dismissively chides, tiredly reclining into the ivory leather seats with fingers kneading his forehead.

'Why so serious?' Marianne's chuckles are saccharine drips from her lips. Lelouch frowns, but before he can retort the fingers of his mother are delightedly pinching his cheek. 'Don't be so disgruntled. It went just as you predicted,  _my_   _little lotus_.'

'Stop that!' Lelouch flails as more of her laughter rolls sweetly right down her arm and into the hand as she shakes his head.

'More importantly,' Marianne clears her throat when she releases her grip, 'don't be such a brat. Show some gratitude.'

'…You did do very well.' Lelouch mutters, sourly rubbing his red cheek. 'Thank you.'

'But, of course!' she smiles a toothy smile and winks. ' _Who_  did you think gave you your charm?'

•-

-•

A few days pass after the visit of Empress Marianne and Lelouch, and Suzaku hasn't heard anything else since. It's been quiet on his father's end and he has yet to have his phone or any other lines of communication returned to him.

Suzaku is left wondering how long he'll watch Japanese celebrities voice their support – a few coming out of the closet as he "inspired" them to do – before his  _father_  can do the same. It's comforting to see them, and their fans, standing behind him even if in the smallest and subtlest of ways. He didn't know he meant  _this_  much to them (how did he not know he means so much to them?). It's humbling. But saddening.

Suzaku isn't sure what to think.

It's been an entire month since Lelouch arrived back in Japan and in only a few days' time it'll be his birthday.

And there's only  _one_  thing Suzaku could ever want…

•-•

Emperor Genbu sits alone in his office, pen resting on paper and the strong shine of the sun stretches across the floor from the windows behind him. Rainbows and celebrities of every colour and creed are a fluttering news cycle on the TV that his eyes don't watch.

The white photo album, the offering from Tohdoh, sits unobstructed on his desk. To the side, out of the way, but not out of sight.

The flag of his people fills the TV screen. Small in the flicking wrists of crowds or large and flapping from buildings. Naysayers and wary politicians don't seem to get the same amount of air-time or attention anymore—

His tumbleweed eyes that are magnetized to the book lead his swollen, calloused fingers to touch the surface. A fleeting trace along the golden bracket of one corner and the book is hoisted off the desk.

—That red son framed by white ripples in tandem with the banner of seven colours. Of people who quietly tucked themselves away. Behind the fallacies. To keep themselves safe and out of sight—

A collection of his son's smiling face protected by little more than plastic is timeless under his eyes. Never changing but always growing.

_Suzaku and Lelouch in a sea of sunflowers: hand in hand as they climb up a small cliff._

_Suzaku and Lelouch on a rooftop: a self-taken photo by Suzaku with their temples touching and him winking while Lelouch complacently half-smirks._

All the moments sealed away and never shared with him. Kept close to Suzaku's chest. Kept quiet.

—A rally of persons who are just like Prince Suzaku Kururugi and rejoicing for him. Japanese faces. Britannian faces. The faces of those in between—

Genbu gently closes the album with a deep exhale, his gaze shifting upward; at first unseeing, but focuses on the black telephone on his desk…

•-

-•

When Suzaku's birthday finally dawns, he rises with the sun in a sluggish haze – the black hole from before returning and swallowing any dreams and restful sleep he could've had, along with his morale (and faith). The Emperor hasn't conceded anything yet to Suzaku and now he stares down at his desk in the creeping of morning light, rubbing at his tired eyes.

Before him lies an intricate itinerary for the beginning part of his day – rubbing the right elbows with some notable guests in some meetings as well as some courtesy visits to certain shrines and businesses around Tokyo to keep face before he's left to his own devices. To  _enjoy_  himself on his birthday.

And then there's the neat stack of documents he has to sign, have sealed, notarized, authorized… and then Japan's future will be someone  _else's_  problem…

•-•

There are a lot of words, terms or titles Suzaku would never give himself and "actor" is one of them; probably near the top of the list. He surprises even himself at how effortlessly he can pull a polite smile across his lips and force sugared words through them – not exactly insincere in themselves, just the feeling behind them. But then, Suzaku remembers that he's been playing a role since he was a child. The only difference is that up until now he believed in his own act – believed that if he wore that mask long enough it would meld itself to him and become reality. Now that Suzaku has decided he never wants to learn if that's actually possible, when he looks through the eyes of the mold he thought he didn't fit and sees just how much of an actor he's become.

Suzaku had been dreading his hobnobbing rounds and now that he's truly tested the strength of his false smiles and lighthearted pleasantries he feels more like a dead man than he ever has.

"…So, you've been together for  _3_  years?" Kaguya incredulously asks from beside Suzaku in the garden gazebo.

"3 and half." Suzaku mutters, not at all feeling up to humor his vivacious little cousin as he rests after a tasteless lunch.

" _And a half?_ " Kaguya chirps, sitting sideways on the bench unlike her cousin who leans his back against the sculptured stone table and empty dishes of their light meal – well, hers are mostly empty. Suzaku doesn't have an appetite. Just a hollow pit.

"…February 2017." She's not even much of a distraction anymore…

Kaguya flicks open her trusty wooden fan and flaps at her face with great disgust. "And there wasn't a  _single_  moment in all those  _3_  –  _and a half_  – years when you thought to  _tell_  me?"

" _Kaguya_." Suzaku tiredly groans.

"I'm your favorite cousin!"

His  _only_  cousin!

_Duh!_

"I already told you it wasn't personal. We didn't tell anyone."

"Lelouch's brother knew."

"That… He figured it out before we did."

Kaguya gives him a look like she just caught a whiff of something foul. "…Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"You're very funny." Suzaku blandly barbs – and before Kaguya's cheeky grin can utter another word—"And  _you_  don't have any room to talk, Previously-the-Future-Wife of Lelouch vi Britannia."

That catches her off-guard, a mental trip that shows in her stunned blink.

"Hey, I can like  _whomever_  I want." She brushes off the remark with a smooth shrug. "You can hardly disagree with me on that."

_Whatever_.

She just wants to argue for the sake of arguing and he's not going to bait her more than he already has. He sighs instead, looking across the tamed, recently-cut grass and organized, structured shrubbery that barley shift in the slight breeze.

He supposes this is the last day he'll ever see this garden.

Sit at  _this_  table.

Inside  _these_  walls.

Under  _this_  sun…

Maybe Suzaku should forgo this whole celebration today, but he felt it would be wrong to everyone who's worked so hard to make today  _special_. Everyone who looked forward to this day more than the actual man of honor did. (And, maybe, he's giving the Emperor until the  _very last second_  to keep everything from ending by him cutting himself out in an ugly carve.)

"Kaguya, there's something I want to tell—" Suzaku's words are mangled into a yelp when she suddenly  _whacks_  the back of his head with her fan. " _Shit!_ " he rubs the abused area even though it doesn't  _really_  hurt and turns to look at her. "What the  _hell_ —?!"

Finding his father standing behind them and Kaguya on her feet in a slanted bow –  _laughing_  at his  _colourful_  outburst.

_Damn it, Kaguya!_

Suzaku scrambles to about-face and also bow at the same respectful angle as Kaguya with practiced perfection for the Emperor that had quietly approached them. Genbu's crow-feet eyes flick between the two green-eyed cousins only once.

"Kaguya, I need a moment alone with my son."

For all of Kaguya's carefree brashness she's respectful when she needs to be – and that means now towards the  _Emperor_   _in_   _his_   _palace_  – so she nods and leaves, although Suzaku can see her lingering within earshot.

Suzaku holds his breath to settle his nerves, feeling them ungainly thrash in his stomach as he stares right into the sanded sovereign gaze of his father. It's just so…  _unnatural_  to see his father outside his office, let alone seeking his son  _personally_. Suzaku doesn't know what to make of it – so many of Suzaku's worst thoughts surging up like a tsunami of fists that pummel his brain – and he doesn't know if he should be more nervous, but he is.

He  _hates_  that office.

But it's familiar territory.

Out here, in the open, he somehow feels more vulnerable – less caged, but less safe.

Perhaps fortune is smiling upon Suzaku because his father doesn't speak any more than he usually would. He presents a thin, lightly glossed black leather folder (goddamn, not  _another_  folder – especially not one that looks  _like_ —) with a simple green ribbon bowed on the top open corner. Suzaku takes it, jaw clenching as his bated breath pounds against the inside of his skull, and opens to see Lelouch's smiling face in a framed oval picture—

And Suzaku gasps, oxygen hitting him like a head-rush that slackens his knees.

"This is—?!" the prince starts, throat crimping on his voice when tears bundle behind his eyes.

"You're getting your wish." Genbu answers with caution rather than reassurance. "Don't come to regret it."

His father hasn't exactly rolled out the welcome mat and his words are far from a hug, but…

It might also be the closest Suzaku has ever come to either.

Suzaku is too overwhelmed with emotions he didn't know could weave and tighten so blindingly in his heart that he nearly hugs his father—

Hands clenching in the air at the end of arms mid-reach when he catches himself and quietly pulls them against his chest with the folder instead.

"…Thank you." Suzaku quietly murmurs, not able to pull his eyes up from the ground or utter another word.

The Emperor doesn't stay a second longer than he needs to, but he does pause when he turns to leave.

"Suzaku…" his father calmly says, lifting his arm like a baby bird using it's wing for the first time and rests his hand on the crown of Suzaku's head. "You've… done well."

Suzaku's heart  _stops_.

The weight of his father's hand on his head is immense almost as if that glass ceiling has fallen right on top of him, shattering the instant the hand his lifted. His clenches his eyes shut a moment to keep himself together and not crumbling with the pieces that fall away and lighten his shoulders. It's no "I'm proud of you" or "I love you" but it's still more than he ever thought he'd ever hear from his father's mouth. When Suzaku opens his eyes again he has to repress tears, feeling them burn as if he'd been staring at the sun as he turns to watch his father pass—

Where a set of smirking violet eyes await him.

Suzaku tries to swallow the hot knot twisting and swelling in his throat as his father lets the Western Prince, donned in white, pass after receiving a respectful bow. The Emperor lingers on the nearby veranda with a ginning Kaguya as his son is barely able to keep from instantly rushing right up to his guest, waiting until Lelouch draws closer. Suzaku hops the very second Lelouch is in reach, smile brighter than sunshine as he clutches the other man with hands that were shaking self-consciously at his chest just a few breaths ago; instantly forgetting the folder as it plops to the table. With arms that couldn't embrace his own father, Suzaku wraps them around Lelouch as if he might fall off the Earth and into the emptiness of space. Lelouch stumbles back a step at the unexpected force but holds the Eastern Prince to keep him grounded and not lost in the stars, the sun. Suzaku lifts his face from nestling in Lelouch's neck, tears he tried to hide from his father roll down his cheeks and Lelouch gently wipes them away with a fond smile.

Then they kiss.

"You did the right thing." Tohdoh quietly assures, appearing at His Majesty's side.

"…Maybe." Genbu says at length before turning away, patting his old friend on the back as they leave the two princes alone.

Suzaku is too absorbed in Lelouch – in his moment in the sun – to pay much attention to his father's departure.

This taste.

This touch.

This smell.

Everything distinctly Lelouch and everything Suzaku feared he might not ever get to experience again pour into him like warm honey, a slow-coating euphoria that calms his nerves and blankets his thrashing heart. He laps at the delightful ooze he can feel spilling into him in a deep kiss Suzaku doesn't mind drowning in, fingers threading tightly in Lelouch's hair like the arm looped securely around his waist. Lelouch holds him close with equally strong affection – emotions that he keeps sealed in his chest (unlike Suzaku is capable of doing) perceptible only in the thudding of his heart. Suzaku can feel it against his chest, in the softness of the palm cupping his face and in the heat of their kiss. Taste it on his tongue.

For however long he's lost in this moment, in his lover's embrace, their bodies, Suzaku doesn't bother keep track. He only knows that he feels himself smiling widely when their lips magically come unglued and he feels Lelouch's fingers tangle in his hair as a tender kiss is placed beside his eye.

"I told you I would take of it." Lelouch murmurs – and it would've killed the mood if not for the gentle breath that sweeps his words right into Suzaku's ear, and down his spine.

Suzaku opens his eyes, realizing they were closed, and looks up in that small slant of their height difference to meet Lelouch's strong gaze.

Violet.

Unrelenting violet.

And  _inside_  the palace walls, no less.

Suzaku struggles to find words, sliding his hands around Lelouch and gripping the fabric on his back and letting his nose nuzzle into an ivory neck.

Oh God.

How he missed this neck…

Unable to resist – not that he really tries to – Suzaku puckers a small kiss against the soft skin he hadn't forgotten but entices him and he's sucking lightly before any faint-hearted caution can stop him. Lelouch's long fingers sift in his brown waves and the arm around him constricts like a hungry snake when he scrapes his teeth against a thick pulse—

But the handle on his hair is tugged, not roughly but enough for Suzaku to notice.

"Hey, before I forget…" Lelouch mutters as he detaches the Japanese leech at his neck and releases his own hold to rifle inside the pocket of his white pants.

Suzaku is wiping his mouth, trying to pull his focus up from the rather swift stirring  _down_   _south_  and up on the little black box presented to him in Lelouch's fair-skinned palm – and that includes  _not_  thinking about  _where_  he'd rather have that palm at this moment.

…Wait.

Box?

"Are you going to open it or stare at it?" Lelouch smirks. "Because I can promise you the inside is  _infinitely_  more exciting than the outside."

Suzaku lifts his hand to take the case not as if he's afraid it will bite him but that it – and this new reality – might shatter if he's too hasty. Once the soft velvet is safely in his touch and he pries open the box to see a glinting ring inside, Suzaku isn't sure this is  _really_  real.

"Do you like it?" Lelouch asks, almost impatiently – or maybe even  _insecurely_. "I know you have modest tastes but I wanted it to be special – to give you something with  _pizzazz_ , you could say."

Suzaku admires the small but rich round cuts of ruby – Suzaku's birthstone – embedded across the top quarter of a platinum ring with a tender smile—

But it falls and he shoves the box against Lelouch's chest.

Lelouch's eyes flit between Suzaku and the ring with mild confusion.

"I think  _you_  should do it." Is all Suzaku says, plain and resolute as he offers his left hand.

Lelouch smiles faintly and plucks the ring from the box and takes the offered hand—

"Aren't you getting down on one knee?" Suzaku stops him.

Lelouch stares.

Deadpan.

"Go on!" Suzaku flaps his waiting-to-be-brandished hand. "Down on your knee."

Lelouch doesn't repress or even lessen his heaving sigh of reluctance as he  _slowly_  settles with great pains on his knee like a rickety old man and reaches again for Suzaku's hand—

"You're not going to  _ask_  me  _the_  question?"

" _Suzaku_."

"Why are you being so difficult?" Suzaku is grinning.

"Because you're just doing this to mess with me."

"It's not my fault I have to make you be romantic."

"Considering  _everything_  I've done to get this far, I'd say I've been  _very_  romantic."

Suzaku's cunning lips soften into a simper.

Lelouch might be right, but it's his attitude that still needs work.

"Indulge me."

"…Marry me?"

"…" Suzaku lifts his eyebrow at the very lackluster efforts of his prince charming.

'Just say  _yes_  so I can stand up.' Lelouch tiredly insists. 'I'm kneeling on  _stone_  here, you know.'

Suzaku sighs, wistfully, and gives Lelouch is hand. "You could've tried a little harder than that. But maybe it's my fault for hoping you'd actually deliver a heartfelt speech of your undying love for me."

"You've been watching too many movies." Lelouch mutters as he gets to his feet, rubbing his knee.

Suzaku shakes his head, briefly admiring the ring as he cups Lelouch's face with the same hand.

"Well, I love you now and forever. Even if you don't always have the best bedside manner."

Lelouch smirks. "I think my  _bed_ side manner is just fine."

Suzaku's eyes twinkle and his lips flirtatiously curve at Lelouch's implication as he pulls himself closer to his  _fiancé_. His ring-clad hand laces in licorice locks while his other palm presses against a beating heart as he gazes up into the violets that speak all for themselves. Another kiss stitches their lips together and their arms around each other; simmering in a sweetness that could boil—

" _Ahem_."

—if not for the  _subtle_  clearing of a throat. They break to find none other than Kaguya at the source, fist in front of her curling lips.

"I'd like to have the honor of being the  _first_  person to congratulate you." She smiles as she saunters up to them.

Lelouch's lifted eyebrows make him look genuinely pleased by that as he unfurls an arm from around Suzaku's waist to take her hand.

"The honor is all mine, Lady Sumeragi."

She eyes his hand with an impish gleam. "Don't suppose I could kiss the  _husband?_ "

" _Kaguya!_ " Suzaku exasperatedly admonishes, still hanging an arm around Lelouch's neck – as if there's any  _other_  tone familiar with her name.

Lelouch, however, tilts her by the chin and plants a chaste little kiss on her cheek.

She promptly turns a shade of red Suzaku never would have thought is humanly possible.

"That's the best I can do, I'm afraid." Lelouch says, his voice framed by a light smirk. "You understand."

She silently blinks at them with an astonishment brought on by her own wicked ways and Suzaku couldn't be  _more_  pleased with the result.

"Well,  _I_  certainly approve." the Japanese prince laughs.

•-•

Prince Lelouch vi Britannia took it upon himself to announce his relationship with the Japanese Prince to the world, so Crown Prince Kururugi Suzaku takes it upon himself to confirm it to the world. Proper and formal announcements will follow today's festivities—but Suzaku is  _sick_   _and_   _tired_  of formalities and doesn't –  _can't_  – wait until all the politics catch up to him, which could take a day or two or  _more_.

To put it bluntly: screw it.

Suzaku appears at the parade in his honor alongside the Emperor in their elevated, and heavily protected, box to view the procession and he brings a special guest—

Kaguya does make a rather showy and indulgent entrance during the introductions, but no. That's not who he means.

11th Prince of the Britannian Empire, son of the 98th Britannian Emperor, Charles zi Britannia, and Imperial Consort, Empress Marianne vi Britannia, Lelouch vi Britannia – and it's not just that mouthful of a title that makes waves amongst the crowd. Lelouch is the personification of royal grace and sophistication as he conservatively joins Suzaku's side with a polite wave and mild smile for the surprisingly substantial turnout (that couldn't just be due to the "scandal," could it?) Suzaku takes that elegantly swiveling pale hand into his sunned grasp, smiling with all of his teeth as he slides their fingers together. Lelouch's reserved grin sharpens into a more characteristic smirk that Suzaku has come to love.

To put it crassly:  _fuck it_.

Suzaku raises their joined hands up high, a very easy way of expressing "yes we  _are_  and yes we  _will_ " that the  _adoring_  side of his public responds excitedly to with waves of hands and flags.

If Suzaku's father has any sort of issue with this, he doesn't speak of it.

Perhaps he knows he won't be heard over the roars of the crowd.

•-•

Perusing festival stalls turns into a non-stop-fidgety-dance-of-remembrance-that-he's-in-public-and-can't-touch-Lelouch. It's something that surprises even himself despite being born and raised in a conservative society. After everything that's happened, all the obstacles big and small he had to climb over, public modesty just feels so  _trivial_. But he does adhere to the common customs like a  _good boy_ , even if it's difficult – Lelouch's natural introversion certainly helps. That he decided to dress down with Suzaku by wearing a slimming  _yukata_  that reveals his milky neck and some of his chest, however, does  _not_  help.

Still, the festival isn't unpleasant – it all wafts by through clouds of cooking steam and prowling children. Suzaku roams alongside Lelouch, weaving through people under the eyes and in the radius of security – including Jeremiah – as they taste this on a stick and slurp that through a straw while hopping from stand to stall. Suzaku is greeted amiably by those who wish him well and treated politely by those who might not understand his "choice." Even then Suzaku finds it hard to not smile when he sees the occasional rainbow.

•-•

A nice change of pace comes in the evening when Suzaku is reunited with his old club friends at Ashford Academy. The entire school is decked out for the affair, as one would expect from the former Student Council President, with strands of lights, lanterns, banners and balloons. Spontaneous pops of confetti come from all the current students who stayed during summer break, littering the school grounds with colourful papers and streamers; reveling in the fun of music, refreshments and games.

Suzaku and the graduating council club of 2019 gather on the rooftop for a fireworks show that, Suzaku learns, Milly took complete control of in her typical muscled fashion. Suzaku only laughs at the thought. If anyone will do a party finale justice, it'll be Milly Ashford. She mostly sits back and basks in all the hard work she didn't do, letting Nina immerse herself in the technical details of the firework performance while Rivalz hovers near her as she teases Shirley's chlorine-tinged hair. Milly's uproarious laughter is a sound Suzaku didn't realize he'd forgotten and he laughs with her despite Shirley's defensive muttering. Even Kallen is able to join them thanks to Lelouch who "pulled a few strings" to get her temporary relief from active-duty. She goes rigid when Suzaku hugs her as she tries to bow to him while Lelouch ignores all of Milly's prodding, personal questions about his relationship with the Japanese prince with Rivalz trying tirelessly to distract her.

It's good to see the gang hasn't changed.

And he's happy to have a more private celebration – of his birthday and his engagement – with his friends, with Lelouch, in such a nostalgic setting. He doesn't worry about looking too forward in Lelouch's arm or against his lips. On this rooftop where he and Lelouch would sneak away from the eyes of others, to hide in their secret, they are sharing what he thought they might not have the chance to share.

With his friends.

With his people.

With everyone.

Suzaku isn't hiding anymore, and he never will again.

That's a feeling – a  _fact_  – proven by fiery, flamboyant flowers and plumes of abstract designs along with simple text in the sky that shine down on him and Lelouch from the darkness.

Filling the void until a new sun rises.

•-•

Despite all the fun, the time comes when Suzaku wants Lelouch  _alone_.

Sneaking away from the rooftop party wasn't all that difficult once alcohol began pouring through lips and spilling out of glasses. Maybe Suzaku should feel guilty about slipping away, but he's been waiting all day, afternoon and evening to  _celebrate_  with Lelouch.

_Privately_.

In  _this_  case, Suzaku doesn't mind being behind locked doors.

That's why he follows Lelouch's  _stealthy_  lead with a giddy smile so that they arrive at his bedroom in his empty villa – Clovis, apparently, is out enjoying some  _company_  of his own and Lady Marianne is visiting the Ashfords. They have the  _whole_  place all to themselves for the  _entire_  night…

Suzaku is curious to know how Lelouch was going to pop the proposal had the surprise not been spoiled, especially since Lelouch's home and bedroom are without anything unordinary in sight. No little surprises. No little romantic touches. Just Lelouch's immaculate nest and his scent like permanent perfume in the room.

But, it doesn't matter.

However Lelouch might've initially planned to ask for Suzaku's hand, he's already given Suzaku more than he could've hoped to have. Moreover, the only thing Suzaku needs is  _Lelouch_.

Suzaku tries not to but he's recounting all the maddening, heart-abusing time he spent locked up like a princess in a castle wondering if he'd ever see his prince charming again (which is  _exactly_  what Suzaku said he wasn't.) It doesn't quite compare to the months apart when Lelouch was gone. They had contact then. It wasn't really a fear of never seeing Lelouch again so much as a craving that dragged its teeth down Suzaku's heart… and crotch.

But  _this_.

The past weeks that coiled around his heart, each moment constricting around him in rigid circles one by one like a tightly packed spring—If Suzaku thinks about it too much he realizes this feeling isn't knew, only that he outgrew it. Perhaps that's why it strangled him so perilously he nearly snapped. It's hard to push all of that away, drop it in a box he can open and sort later, because up until only hours ago that was his reality. Inside that box. Trapped.

But now he's free. Now he can focus on Lelouch and everything that he hoped to find over the rainbow. Something that goes beyond their clumsy courtship days of school and hearts growing fonder over distance and time. Right now he can smell Lelouch. Feel the pulsing under his hands. Taste the salt on his tongue…

Kissing is important. At least, it's apparently become the most important thing at the moment as their lips are the only connection that carries them to the king-size bed where they roll in the sheets – devious silks that have always seduced Suzaku's skin as if it's  _sinful_  to remain still.

Unlike all his lavished kimonos that demand statuesque posture.

Not allowing a single flaw to show.

But now he gets to bathe in the freedom of Lelouch's bed.

Sliding in satin and love.

Their clothes a distant memory on the floor.

Skin flushing under Lelouch's lips and fingertips.

Gasping on sounds he didn't know he could make.

Head thrown back as a mouth sucks at his neck.

Body curving underneath the one moving between his wrapping legs.

Losing himself in the other boy— _man_  that never gives himself to anyone else…

•-•

"I don't like the idea of him being out all night." Genbu grumbles the very second Tohdoh enters his softly-lit office. "You should've brought him back."

"Suzaku is an  _adult_  now. Let him celebrate his birthday however he wishes." Tohdoh stops across his sitting Emperor and friend with a bottle of  _sake_  and two small cups. "Can't blame him for wanting to spend it with his  _fiancé_ , can you?"

Genbu sneers a little but doesn't rebuff. He watches the other man pour their drinks on a clear space at the front of his desk, eyes inevitably falling on the neat stack of documents that nearly left him without a son.

"You didn't tell Suzaku you helped them, did you." Not a question.

Tohdoh doesn't immediately respond, lowering the bottle to rest as a small, sly smile pinches a corner of his lips. "…No more than you told Suzaku that you used Lelouch's military stint only to  _test_  him."

Genbu doesn't laugh but he looks like he  _might_. "You know me too well."

Tohdoh, though,  _does_  laugh with a bouncy chuckle scraping in his chest. "Anyway, this really belongs to them, not me." He offers a cup to the other man. "It's a big moment in their lives even if they are young."

A deep and tired exhale pushes Genbu up to his feet to take the warm rice wine. "When did we become such old men?"

"When you weren't looking," Tohdoh teases and Genbu leers.

"…Suzaku…" Heavy brown eyes sink into his cup, "he's not a bad son. Just…  _so much_  like his mother."

"Yes…" Tohdoh quietly agrees, letting a silence pass thickly between them. Glancing briefly at the small, black picture frame lying face-down on Genbu's desk, Tohdoh raises his cup. "To our wives."

Genbu's gaze lifts instantly, a distant glimmer in his eyes that raises his hand to join the toast—

But stops. Holds his cup apart from Tohdoh's, hovering as his eyes seem to pull back to the present. "…And husbands."

Tohdoh doesn't conceal his surprise but does nod his head with subtle cheer and their cups clink together in front of the red Japanese sun.

•-•

…But maybe the only thing that tops making love with Lelouch in his bed of petals guarded by thorns is never having to leave. Suzaku can lie in the heaven of tangled limbs, face-to-face and chest-to-chest, and listen to beating hearts for as long as he likes.

…Relatively speaking.

"…Can I ask you something?" Suzaku murmurs into Lelouch's chest like a fluttering feather.

'Sure.'

Suzaku props himself up on his elbow to stare down at Lelouch and waits for those violet eyes to open before continuing. "How did you know this would all work out?"

The amethysts Suzaku's waited to see dull. 'You're seriously  _asking_  me this question?'

"Yeah, you're a brilliant mastermind and whatever, but  _how did you know?_ "

'Not to undermine my own  _talent_ ,' Lelouch comments with his cool confidence that comfortably closes his eyes. "But it wasn't exactly rocket science."

…Did he just call Suzaku stupid?

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Suzaku," Lelouch says in a tone that really  _does_  call Suzaku stupid, "if you don't know me well enough to answer that question for yourself then I'm very concerned about our future together."

What an annoying Lelouch move: turn the whole thing right around on someone who  _isn't_  him.

Even so… he has a point.

Suzaku knows Lelouch isn't  _graced_  with only tactical brilliance but also people smarts – his lacking an understanding in romance and sometimes even sentiment notwithstanding. In fact, his ability to read people is only a  _part_  of his tactical brilliance.

_Even so…_

"…But I actually threatened to renounce my right to the throne – and not only did I  _not_  tell you that, but it happened  _after_  you…"

Lelouch peeks at Suzaku when the brunet falls off into a pondering pause.

How could he have known that Suzaku would…?

No. Maybe it  _does_  make sense. Suzaku has revealed more of himself to Lelouch than anyone else.

But that just means he manipulated Suzaku too, doesn't it? He did order Suzaku to not do anything stupid, so…

…It's not possible that Lelouch planned this  _entire_  thing, is it?

_All_  of it?

(Even from the moment he arrived…?

_'…Suffice to say, I was prepared for something like this to happen.'_ )

Or is it just that he predicted Suzaku would pressure his father with such an extreme measure – even if that's a bit too extreme for Suzaku? That Suzaku would couple Lelouch's effort in hitting another of the Emperor's soft-spots…?

"…Are you saying you  _knew_  that  _all_  of this would happen?" Suzaku finally asks, utterly astounded.

Lelouch coyly shrugs. 'Does it really matter? We've acquired what we wanted.'

Suzaku stares  _long_  and  _hard_  at Lelouch – not that the Britannian can see it.

…And decides that, in  _this_  case, he'd rather not think about it.

Ignorance is bliss… right?

'You are scary.' Suzaku settles with slowly enunciating, snuggling back up to his husband-to-be and under the silk sheets despite his honest words. Lelouch chuckles and Suzaku can feel it against his palm when he rests it against the Britannian prince's chest. He feels himself melt into a warm smile when Lelouch's arm slinks more tightly around him—

"Just think: right now your father is in his office pretending we're not having sex."

—and then he cringes so hard he nearly gags on his own stomach.

"… _Why_  would you  _say_  that?" Suzaku whines with horror, mourning the pleasant moment Lelouch effectively slaughtered as he looks his lover right in his open left eye.

Lelouch, however, is smirking. "Because I wanted to see the look on your face."

"…I can't believe I still love you," Suzaku says.

'I know.' Lelouch smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily ever after…!
> 
> …Just kidding. Stay tuned for the wedding (and the _wedding night_ ;D), which will be in Lelouch’s pov! I haven’t quite started it yet, though, so I’ll probably take longer than usual to update.
> 
> **Wait! One more thing before you go!** I’m thinking I want to continue writing this universe in a collection-style of short/side/extra stories rather than a straight plotline. They will encompass the entire AU from before, during and after this original work. So if _anyone_ out there is interested in reading more _please_ let me know.
> 
> P.S. Just in case I didn’t make it clear enough, Lelouch’s “Iris” suit in this chapter is totally his Zero R2 garb ;D


	5. Extra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The “last” part!
> 
> Just a little note (because properly describing it was difficult?): Lelouch is wearing something like what Prince Charming from Cinderella wore. ;]
> 
> **This Extra is brought to you by the song _The Best Is Yet To Come_ performed by _Frank Sinatra & Count Basie._ ([Link](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmf1AYgYj6I))

_Out of the tree of life I just picked me a plum_

_You came along and everything started to hum_

_Still it's a real good bet the best is yet to come_

_Best is yet to come, and babe won't that be fine_

_You think you've seen the sun but you ain't seen it shine_

-•-

Land of the Rising Son 

Extra: The Wedding 

_August 10, 2020_

_Tokyo, Japan._

'You know, Lelouch, I'm very happy for you.'

Lelouch looks over his shoulder from staring out of a sunny window of tall trees to arc his eyebrow at his brother.

Clovis smiles at Lelouch's suspicion. 'I thought for certain you'd grow up to be a lonely, pale and wrinkled old man that no one would find fun or sexually attractive without being paid.' Yeah, that's what Lelouch thought Clovis meant. 'Now all you have to do is keep from driving Suzaku away with that bad attitude of yours.'

'Do you ever take a break from being obnoxious or were you just born this way?' Lelouch blandly barbs.

'That's exactly what I'm talking about.' Clovis jabs with an upturned nose. 'God knows why or how a sweet little sugar cube like Suzaku fell for a sour big-head like you, let alone decided to spend his life with you.'

'Spare me your thoughts by talking to your reflection like you usually do.' Lelouch says offhandedly as he turns around and tugs the bottom of his red tail coat to straighten any creases. ' _God knows_  it's much more interested than I am.'

Clovis grins at his little brother. 'I'll miss playing like this with you.'

'I won't.' Lelouch curtly responds. 'Babysitting you is tiring.'

'Despite whatever you say I  _know_  I'm your favorite brother.' Clovis scoffs, the long snowdrop sleeves of his royal formal that drooping from his elbows sway as he crosses his arms over the gold, spindly vines embroidered on his periwinkle chest. 'And if not for  _me_  you wouldn't be getting married right now and you really  _would_  have turned into a lonely old man.'

…That's not  _entirely_  inaccurate.

'I guess you just bring out the  _masochist_  in me.' Lelouch dryly says.

'Save it for Suzaku, you closeted pervert.'

Lelouch huffs with a smirk. 'Wrong tree.'

There's a light knock on the door where Marianne peeks through the crack.

'Are you decent, Lelouch?' she asks with a smile, and then notices Clovis. 'Am I interrupting anything?'

'Clovis is just being stupid. Like usual.' Lelouch says. 'You can come in.'

'And you're just being mean.' Clovis pouts with a cross of his arms. 'Like  _usual_.'

'And yet you still hang around me. I wonder who the masochist  _really_  is.' Lelouch smiles slyly.

Marianne enters the dressing room with Nunnally and Rolo close behind her. His mother is wearing a full-length dark blue dress that covers her feet and has a white, ruffled cravat that lies between silvery lapels on her buttoned chest.

'You look so handsome!" His mother coos; admiring how the coat is fitted to his tall, slim frame. She slides her long fingers across the golden shoulder guards, watching the tassels shake. ' _Sweet peas_ , isn't your big brother handsome?'

Nunnally steps up to him with a simper – knowing he isn't fond of being fawned over. 'I've heard that people become more attractive when they fall in love.'

'Oh?' Lelouch asks.

She nods with a smile. 'You've always been handsome, big brother, but I understand what that means now.'

Lelouch smirks a little—

'I don't see it.' Rolo announces with a dull slap in his snowy-gray three-piece suit with a morning jacket, an indigo vest and lilac cravat – no frills or glam like Clovis. Less is more for Rolo. 'He looks the same to me.'

Lelouch's smirk falls a little flat while Nunnally giggles and Clovis  _guffaws_.

'Anyway, I've taken a peek at Suzaku, too.' Nunnally says, hands braiding behind the back of her long, lilac dress with magenta frills, bows and a hoop skirt that compliments her small waist where her long hair freely hangs. 'He's very dashing. When did he grow up into such an attractive young man?'

'I suppose the same day you became such a little tease.' Lelouch retorts.

She laughs, soft bubbles popping in her throat. 'The two of you will look so wonderful and captivating together.' She takes a step back to fully eye him. 'With Suzaku wearing his traditional dress and you in this red coat, you'll like two different fairy tales getting married.'

Marianne hums as she also takes a step back to look him over from all the gold trimmings on the coat that drips down his black pants in red side stripes. 'The red coat  _is_  an old tradition, but I don't think it's ever looked better on anyone else.'

Clovis  _clears his throat_.

Marianne turns to the neglected little boy with a wry grin. 'And Clovis, I didn't know you could be any more elegant and pretty than usual.'

Clovis smiles broadly and  _modestly_  combs a few fingers through the loose locks parted on the right side of his face. 'I might've outdone myself.'

Oh, please.

'Is there anything you wanted, mother?' Lelouch asks to stop Clovis' vanity from gagging him any more than it already has.

'Just wanted to check in. And see you all put together.' She pauses with a wistful nostalgia that shimmers over her blue eyes. 'To think it's only been a month since the two of you became engaged and we're already at the noon of your wedding day.'

Normally only one month to orchestrate and have a wedding would be impossible, especially of this caliber, but there are  _benefits_  to being royalty.

'Yes. Has anyone ever told Lelouch that eagerness isn't attractive?' Clovis snips as he inspects his nails.

'This coming from the man who beds anything that pays him a compliment.' Lelouch coolly counters.

'You—! Are you calling me a  _harlot_?!'

'You said it, not me.'

Clovis is ruffling his feathers, puffing up and ready to burst but Marianne pats his shoulder to calm him.

'Now, now. Let's not get off-topic.' she says with a simper and rejoins her son's side. 'Lotus blossom… You're young, and this may all seem too soon to a lot of people, but you have always had a good head on your shoulders. You're responsible and decisive. Your father and I are happy for you. And if you ever need anything we're only a phone call away. I'll be here sooner than you can say  _flash_.'

'…Thank you, mother.'

'Well…' Marianne says with a twinkle in her eyes that Lelouch has learned to fear. 'I don't suppose you need any sex advice for tonight?'

Lelouch chokes, which only goads her more.

'I know there's the internet and all, but, I could tell you which parts are  _true_.'

'Mother—'

'Or just the basics? You know, pay  _attention_  to him. Watch carefully for signs when you—'

' _Mother_!' Lelouch practically shouts, red-faced, and Clovis boisterously laughs,  _again_ , while Marianne merely grins.

'Relax, little lotus. I'm only teasing you.'

'Besides,' Clovis joins with his own evil little grin, 'don't think we don't know how lucky both of you are to not worry about wearing a  _white_  wedding dress.'

Lelouch can only grumble to himself as he hides his face – his flushing embarrassment – with his white-gloved hand while they all laugh. Even  _Nunnally_.

They're traitors.

All of them.

…Except Rolo, who just looks a little lost.

•-•

Preparations for the wedding went underway practically immediately after the ring was on Suzaku's finger. Maybe such a short amount of time made the stress feel like a never-ending staircase in front of him, at times, because of the added pressure but Lelouch knows he's finally climbed to the top when he sees Suzaku's smile.

"I don't believe you're supposed to be here." Suzaku coyly says, dismissing a few servants out of his separate dressing room with a gesture of his hand.

They haven't seen each other for over 24 hours – Lelouch isn't sure a little superstitious ritual about them not meeting before the wedding was really necessary, and not just because they're both male. They've come too far to let anything take this away from them. Now that he's seeing Suzaku, in his black robes with its  _mon_  and stripped  _hakama_ , bathed in the midday sun beaming through the windows, it makes Lelouch feel just a little less anxious, and he's glad he came.

'I'm Lelouch vi Britannia. I go where I want.' Lelouch smugly smiles as he approaches to slowly slide his arms around the waist of his first friend. First lover.

"Is that so?" Suzaku grins, petting the gold cords latching around the buttons on Lelouch's red chest. "Did it occur to you that sneaking in right now would spoil the surprise?"

"I should hope you weren't expecting to marry anyone else today."

Suzaku simpers and shakes his head. "I meant about how handsome you look in this outfit."

"Nunnally says we look like a couple of fairytales."

Suzaku laughs. "It almost feels like one."

A quiet pause here where Suzaku's words seem to plant a little bit of truth and a kiss buds between them, blooming in their eyes and traces across their lips. Suzaku is accepting Lelouch's lean, closing his eyes—

Until he finally notices a man with a camera recording their every move, and he shies away.

Lelouch turns to the blond, ponytail man that slipped into the room with him and requests a moment alone.

"I know it's for a good reason, but I'll be glad once he's no longer following us around all the time with that camera." Suzaku somewhat peevishly says once the man is out of the room. "I'm still amazed you've allowed him to document us since you're a locked book in a safe with a lost combination at the bottom of the ocean."

"I know it's been intrusive, but Diethard Reid will do our story justice. He'll show everyone what our union is really about." Lelouch  _is_  the opposite of an open book, as Suzaku so creatively put it, but he thought this was important – besides, it's only been for the past month. "And he doesn't lack for spirit."

Suzaku half-smirks. "That he doesn't."

A kiss, finally, that's tender with a hint of yearning opening their lips and constricting their arms.

"I'm… really happy to see you." Suzaku breathes when they part, obvious relief shining in his eyes. "I'm so nervous."

Lelouch thought so.

But that isn't the only reason he's sneaking in this little moment before the ceremony.

"It'll be all right." Lelouch soothes.

"I don't know." A little chuckle. "I'm worried about tripping when we walk up to the altar. Or that I might barf all over you if I don't. Or both."

"Well, only the first one is preferable, if possible."

Suzaku laughs and playfully shoves Lelouch. "You're no help."

Lelouch just smiles as he watches Suzaku take a look at himself in a mirror and he can't help but think that Nunnally was right.

"You're not nervous at all, are you?" Suzaku asks with a cheekily accusatory tone.

Lelouch knows better than to gloat about it. "One of us needs to be calm."

Suzaku lightly sighs. "You know, it would actually make me feel more comfortable if you're nervous. I mean, this is important not just for us. Thanks to television access the entire world is our witness."

Also something Lelouch thought was important.

The first gay wedding of royalty and a future leader?

It's  _beyond_  important.

But it wasn't completely  _Lelouch's_  will.

"You only have to focus on me." Lelouch touches Suzaku's shoulder. "Try to remember that."

A small smile lifts Suzaku's lips in the reflection. "Just you and me against the world like always?"

"Not exactly…" He circles his arms around the Japanese prince from behind and hands curl over his as they share a smile in the mirror.

•-•

Lelouch isn't fond of weddings, truth be told. It's a distaste rooted in childhood but today, like many things involving Suzaku, is different. This is something he realized he's been waiting to do since their beginning, but didn't completely comprehend it at the time. Marriage has always seemed more about that glamour, theatrics and  _perks_ , not sincere emotion. It's something that too many privileged couples have taken for granted and sullied. But even more than law or culture and society, today is the day that starts tomorrow.

Lelouch can walk along side Suzaku up the aisle in their Japanese-style procession and just enjoy  _being_. With Suzaku. Without anything else in their way. And when Suzaku's fingers reach to loosely braid together with his, even though they aren't supposed to, he lets it be with a smile.

In terms of tradition and formality, their wedding is as much of both as it can be. It was decided to be a traditional mix of Japanese and Britannian customs – more than just a compromise to please the many, it was a matter of sense. The veritable marriage of west and east couldn't be more literal. Although the Japanese side does take more liberties because Suzaku is a crown prince and Britannian customs only go so far, it isn't "offensive." This moment is just bigger to Japan than it is to Britannia.

Traditional Britannian weddings aren't all that complicated in reality. Just a church, a priest, the proper attire, procession and done. Traditional Japanese weddings, however, are more… intricate. Lelouch hadn't thought much about the actual ceremony itself – he's attended more weddings than he's ever cared to, but they were brothers, sisters, other distant relatives… the Britannian Emperor. Lelouch has never attended let alone seen a Japanese wedding. Maybe the very act of enabling marriage itself was just more important or maybe his bittered view of weddings in general is what blocked this event from his foresight. For once, in this instance, Lelouch didn't think a single detail through. He's thought of life together with Suzaku. Living in the Japanese palace. Handling Suzaku's father who isn't even his  _smallest_  fan.

Then again, Lelouch, or Suzaku, didn't need to be personally involved since tradition spoke over preference.

Also, he didn't have  _preference_.

His choice was to marry Suzaku. End of story.

At any rate, Lelouch understands the significance – at least in this case – and is still a willing participant. When he and Suzaku reach the priests, Japanese and Britannian, the usual vows are made even if meshed together, including language. They stand at the alter – an outdoor shrine, as the Japanese half would have it – with an audience of mostly immediate family, some friends and a few "important" people that could make it a this short notice. It's relatively small, considering, but it's also being televised live – something new for Japan and something borrowed from Britannia. There was a big fuss when Crown Prince Odysseus was married some years back, but that was the only wedding aired since.

Something else borrowed from Britannia is the exchanging of rings. Lelouch spies a bit from the corner of his eyes as they slide the metal bands onto each other's fingers, and he has to admit that this is an interesting culture collision – clothes and demeanor contrasting in a setting so ancient with Mount Fuji piled behind them… it's just surreal. Nunnally compared their wedding to a fairytale, Suzaku agreed and Lelouch does even if only by the look of it, but this marriage isn't going to be easy. There's an absurd amount of pressure on them as the first couple of their  _kind_  in this status bracket. Even though it's silly to judge them on behalf of any group of persons, that doesn't mean it won't happen. Lelouch isn't worried about his future with Suzaku, by any means, but he knows the scrutiny will be severe.

They aren't supposed to kiss at the end of the ceremony. It's a formal and religious event – in Britannian tradition it would be in a church, where such things as kissing are inappropriate – and even though Lelouch doesn't particularly like playing by the rules of others, he decided to be compliant overall to just get it over with. Again, he isn't sure of Japanese weddings, only of their conservative culture, but Suzaku doesn't seem to be concerned in any case. Nearly as soon as they're announced as husband and husband, before they can turn to the witnesses, Lelouch gets a face-full of Suzaku.

They  _rehearsed_  this.

_Several_  times.

Smile, wave, hold for applause and then leave together.

Not lock lips in front of the priests, their family and the entire goddamn world.

But Suzaku still his has emotional slips of impulse, so, here they are kissing in front of the priests, their family and the entire goddamn world.

Not that Lelouch particularly minds…

He reciprocates this kiss as boldly as he pleases, feeling Suzaku clench their conjoined hands to the sound of clapping and familiar voices hooting their approval. Milly and Kaguya really know how be classy.

At least Suzaku makes it through without tripping or vomiting.

•-•

After a brief limousine ride from the shrine to the palace that involved little more than profusely sucking face, the now-married princes are getting hot and heavy in Suzaku's rooms.

Maybe too hot and heavy.

They came here to change out of their ceremonial clothes and even though they have been successful at the undressing part… the dressing part not so much. They both agreed to wait until the evening to… consummate their union when they could take their time, but kissing non-stop is more fun than getting dressed. They're going with simple black-tie for their own reception – if either of them can part their lips or stop their hands from groping long enough to even  _put_   _on_  a tie… Every time Suzaku laughs under a caress or kiss, Lelouch wonders why they aren't just skipping right to the  _fun_  part of their wedding day.

Who cares about the reception? They've just done the ceremony which was the  _required_  part.

And why bother getting dressed when only hours from now they'll be doing the opposite?

•-•

The reception is a very small and private affair; not televised – although Mr. Reid is allowed  _some_  filming – and is strictly reserved for family and friends – their Ashford pals and, on Lelouch's end, mostly just the family he actually  _wants_  around, which pretty much means none of them. Emperor Genbu was generous enough to allow it at the palace, most likely for the added security, which isn't something that often happens as the palace "isn't for parties."

The sun is setting when Lelouch and Suzaku have finally arrived to dine outside in an open courtyard illuminated by strung lights and flickering torches. They sit at their own table like two little love-birds. The cuisine courses consist of Lelouch's and Suzaku's favored meals of all kinds from Italian to Indian and of course a tall, stacked cake for dessert. Adopting Britannian style, it's coated in white but decorated with edible sunflowers –  _their_  flower – and topped with two little tuxedo-donned grooms while the inside is a moist, velvety chocolate infused with a splash of orange.

For the most part the reception isn't structured – something agreeable for both princes. It's nice to relax a little while they eat after a stuffy, buy-the-books ceremony written by two different cultures. Toasts are made; some are pleasant from the likes of Tohdoh and Marianne while others are uninvited by the likes of Milly and Clovis – he needs to make it  _crystal_   _clear_  that this marriage is  _thanks_  to him. Lelouch is just lucky Milly doesn't know anything about her Valentines hat game actually being successful. Otherwise he'd never hear the end of that, either.

Suzaku also wanted to do the "married couple feed each other cake and drink champagne" bit, which their guests appear to enjoy. Lelouch doesn't really like having cake shoved into his mouth, but, Suzaku apparently does. It's a bit strange for Lelouch to see his Ashford friends mixing with his family – aside from Milly, who has been a semi-regular fixture since they were kids. For instance, watching Clovis strike out after pouring himself too thick on Kallen is priceless. But Lelouch is unaccustomed to the way Nina's sunlight-deprived, pale cheeks tinge as she stammers through a conversation with Euphie. And even how Rivalz struggles with the arduous task of trying to make Cornelia laugh… or Rolo's unimpressed glower as Shirley rambles on about her old gardening club…

All in all, though, it goes off better than Lelouch anticipated.

Or maybe Lelouch is just enjoying himself more than he anticipated.

That is, until the live orchestral music begins to play, more champagne pours and  _dancing_  ensues…

•-•

The dance floor itself is mostly a flat, tiled abstract mosaic in one of the broader and minimal gardens of the palace. Sunflowers have been ornamented in a more sparse fashion with displays, stands and on tabletops along with red and white roses that symbolize unity. This garden is mostly green aside from sweet, delicate jasmine flower pots already native to the palace, but its main feature is a wide, round, shallow but tiered fountain aglow with a lighted base. It's obvious to Lelouch that this garden was meant for entertaining in a manner just like this gathering, but he doesn't know in how long it's had the pleasure of doing so.

The real interest, however, is in the dancing partners. Jeremiah is looking tall and relaxed with an old friend, Villetta Nu, who became the wife of the current Japanese Prime Minister – who sits by with their baby girl bouncing in his lap as he talks with Kallen. Tohdoh and Chiba tenderly flowing with the music isn't as unusual as Clovis who somehow landed Sayoko as a dancing partner. The poor woman. Better give her more champagne… or maybe some pepper spray.

Lelouch wouldn't mind sitting back and watching – since he can't just  _leave_  – even though he would've been bored, but unluckily for him the night doesn't go as he'd prefer.

'This has turned out to be very lovely day.' Marianne says to her son; linked by the arms through a mild waltz. 'And I'm glad I caught you with a dance before you, well…'

Lelouch owes his mother a great deal and that's not something he'd soon forget – not that she'd ever let him. If dancing at least once with her is all she's asking for in return, he could hardly decline.

'Of course.' Lelouch says, glancing over his mother's shoulder at Suzaku carefully sweeping with Nunnally around the dance floor—

Who're passed by an uneasy Rolo with his hands full of Kaguya enthusiastically spinning them about, disregarding the slower tempo of the string music.

A nostalgic sigh breezes from her lips. 'I can't believe my little lotus is married.'

Lelouch's lips curl – he's getting tired of hearing about how people thought he'd become a lonely old man, but he knows that's not how she means it. The fond and never-ending use of her unique nickname she gave him as a  _child_  proves that.

'Not that I was surprised about you and  _Suzaku_ …' She giggles like the ringing of a dainty bell. 'Although I think the Ashfords had been hoping that you and  _Milly_  would marry.'

Milly doesn't appear to be having any issues enjoying the company of her date as they stand at the fountain. Gino Weinberg might be a Knight of the Round, but he just seems like a big idiot. A bigger one than Suzaku, but not  _nearly_  as cute.

'There's still Rolo.' Lelouch wryly jokes, making his mother  _really_   _laugh_  as they shift into a turn—

He briefly catches a glimpse of Rivalz and Shirley sharing heat on their close cheeks as they dance.

'Now I just have to wonder how long it will take Schneizel to stop pretending that his assistant is his 'assistant' now that you've paved a new road.' Marianne playfully mutters through a snide curve of her lips.

An obligatory invite, the Second Prince and current Britannian Prime Minister, Schneizel el Britannia, is standing and talking with Emperor Genbu and none other than his "assistant," Kanon Maldini, at his side.

'If he wants to live like a pious coward, that's his  _prerogative_.' Lelouch smirks sharply in an identical way to his mother.

Marianne chuckles. 'The world is still too small for the both of you, is it?'

Lelouch half-shrugs.

She hopelessly shakes her head at him, smiling a motherly smile that neither condones nor condemns.

'You know there was some resistance when your father and I married,' she distantly recalls, 'and although it isn't the same, I know some of that hardship. I meant it when I said that you can come to me, your father, whenever you need us.'

Lelouch stays quiet.

Then she longingly sighs, her deep blue eyes sparkling like a lonely star. 'I will miss you.' she says. 'I already do.'

Lelouch can't bring his eyes to meet hers. 'I'll visit.' Instead they land on the Britannian Emperor dancing closely with Lady  _li_  Britannia.

'Of course.'

And then not another word is spoken.

Not until the music sweetly fades away like a dying lullaby that still manages to squeeze around his heart—

'Pardon me,' Suzaku's sunny face pops up beside them like a crashing comet that  _actually_  startles Lelouch. 'Do you mind if I have the next dance?'

'Not asking  _me_ , are you?' Marianne coyly asks, but laughs and pinches his cheek – to which he smiles through a grimace – before he can respond. 'Just kidding! I leave him to you.' Her hand lingers on his face in a petting cup and her strong eyes look too delicate. 'Take good care of him, you hear?'

'Not sure he needs me for that, but I promise to do my best.' Suzaku simpers.

She laughs hardily in her belly and wrangles both boys in by their necks, giving them each a  _mommy_  kiss on their cheeks and saying  _goodbye_  before she leaves. Lelouch watches her take the next dance with her husband before he looks to Suzaku with a pout.

'I was going to sit down.' he lamely grouses – mood a little soured, yes, but he was hoping to attempt anchoring himself somewhere,  _away_  from all this  _dancing_.

"And now you're going to dance with me." Suzaku pleasantly corrects as he takes Lelouch's hand into his grasp. When Lelouch just apathetically stares, he sympathetically shrugs. "Consider it as me saving you from having to dance with anyone else. No one's going to cut in on the newlyweds."

Suzaku just  _might_  have a point there.

"I know you don't like dancing, but this is our wedding day." Suzaku rests his other arm on Lelouch's shoulder with a puppy-pitiful gaze. "Just do this for me? I even requested something slow, so you don't have to move that much."

Lelouch smiles, despite himself, and wraps an arm around his husband's waist to pull him closer. "As you wish."

What Suzaku said isn't false. Lelouch dislikes dancing and tries to avoid it like the plague whenever possible. He is classically trained in ballroom dancing, of course, but past experiences and observance have ruined the entire affair for him and he simply refuses to participate – not that he was ever real keen on it to begin with. The only exceptions to this rule are his mother, Nunnally and half-sister Euphemia, and even that involves twisting his arm. They each got  _one_  dance with him tonight. …And one for Kaguya – because her birthday is tomorrow. But  _no one_  else.

Even though with Suzaku it…  _is_   _different_. All the things Lelouch thought he hated about dancing he's finding he enjoys. Bodies close, locked in a fluid and soothing embrace as everything else dries up and crumbles away… However, they're both men and that makes them an eye-magnet and Lelouch despises being gawked at like a side-show. Same-sex parings in dancing have been and still are non-existent in Lelouch's world. For commoners, the story might different. Yes, it's their wedding day, but that doesn't make it better. Just another exception.

Lelouch doesn't hate dancing with  _Suzaku_ , just hates dancing in front of others.

"You only have to focus on me…" Suzaku quietly murmurs, his borrowed reassurance blending into the soft, whispering music lacing around their bodies.

Lelouch can't ignore the obvious – and it's not as though Lelouch cares about what others are thinking or even that anyone here  _cares_ , he's just averse to the spotlight – but Suzaku is still somewhat partially correct. Lelouch just needs to focus on what's important.

The way his nose naturally nestles in the fluff of brown hair over Suzaku's temple. How it still smells like the sun.

And the comfortable, close-knit feeling of their bodies gently swaying together. In unison.

"This is nice, isn't it?" Suzaku asks with dreamy eyes that seem to rest in the affectionate crescent of his smiling lips.

Despite everything he loathes about dancing, it's…  _nice_  to be with Suzaku here and now just as they are and knowing nothing can take it away from them.

_Nothing_.

"Just don't ask me to dip you unless you want to be dropped." Lelouch dryly remarks.

Suzaku rolls his eyes—and then they gleam with a double-take. "I could dip  _you_."

Lelouch doesn't even dignify that with a response.

The eastern prince tenderly laughs to himself and slides his fingers up Lelouch's nape, tangling loosely in black hair. "You can at least dip your head for me, yeah?"

Lelouch's head slants down to meet Suzaku's up angle and their lips press in a kiss that quickly melts past saccharine fluff and into a heated, molten center. Their mouths open and slide in slow motions like the stretching of notes that's guiding their bodies until this kiss overrides everything else and they're left standing still while others dance around them.

In this moment the idea that it's only the two of them on the face of the Earth doesn't feel like such a bad thing.

"…What do you say to the two of us getting out of here and going somewhere more… private?" Lelouch suggestively asks in Suzaku's ear, pressing his hand firmly against the small of Suzaku's back.

"Trying to get out of dancing with me?"

"Trying to get you out of your pants, actually." Lelouch frankly says with admittedly little charm but it still splits a lustful line across Suzaku's lips that kiss him again as hands hold his jaw.

"I think I knew that already." Suzaku murmurs against Lelouch's mouth, fingers like loose ribbons sliding down his neck. "Think we can sneak away?"

It's actually still quite early in the evening and in terms of when the reception began, but Lelouch didn't care all that much about it in the first place.

"You should know the two of us can accomplish anything when we work together."

•-•

Sneaking off like the giddy teenagers they once were turns out to be the easy part.

The hard part hits halfway through the palace to Suzaku's private quarters when the Japanese prince decides that Lelouch isn't moving  _fast_  enough – Lelouch wasn't aware that the world will  _end_  if they don't get to sexing under a predetermined time – and takes matters into his own  _hands_.

"Struggling only makes it worse." Suzaku grimaces at the long, lanky body he's carrying folded over his shoulder with flapping limbs.

"Being an  _idiot_  only makes it worse!" Lelouch bites – he's thought about  _actually_  biting – and kicks his legs.

Suzaku attempted  _bridal_ -style, but Lelouch made it too difficult for that.

He's not so sure  _this_  is an improvement.

" _OWW_ —H- _Hey_ , that  _hurts!_ " Suzaku cautions when a knee knocks against his ribs. "If you don't stop I just might accidentally  _drop_  you."

'Don't think I  _won't_  take you with me.' Lelouch challenges like a wounded animal, tugging at the back of Suzaku's pants with the clear intention of letting gravity slump them around his feet – hopefully tripping him, but the  _threat_  alone should suffice.

"Stop being such a child." Suzaku plainly chides before  _heaving_  Lelouch backwards off his shoulder and gracelessly plopping the Britannian prince down on his bed like a sack of potatoes before yanking off his black tie and jacket.

Hell itself scorches in the withering glare Lelouch lasers through the mussed fray of his hair as he pushes himself up on his elbows. 'Don't. Do. That.  _Ever_. Again.'

Suzaku  _smiles_  as he crawls up on the bed to straddle Lelouch's lap. "Don't make me wait so long to spend the rest of my life with you again, and I won't."

And to think it was mostly  _Suzaku_  who wanted to  _wait_  this afternoon when they were changing.

Lelouch's tart face flattens. "Are you proud of that line?"

"Yep." Suzaku grins as he leans in closer to Lelouch's lips.

"That makes one of us."

'Just shut up, would you?' Suzaku dryly jabs before kissing his disgruntled spouse.

Maybe Lelouch can't really blame Suzaku for his impertinence – even though they were officially engaged for only a month, their relationship has stretched across the past three and half years in ways that could've split it at the seams and unraveled them, but didn't. Lelouch is indebted to Suzaku's tolerance for that. The Japanese prince might not be nearly as cool-headed as Lelouch, but his heart has been big enough to fill the gaps where stress and frustration tore under their feet. Lelouch's efforts have gone a long way as well, but, Suzaku has made the ride less bumpy.

They might've been together for 3 years, but this day was 10 years in the making.

Suzaku's lips have certainly aged in confidence since their high school beginnings – tonight they're the boldest they've ever been. His kisses aren't the tentative and uncertain touches that searched against Lelouch's; they're well-versed and confident to take what they want.

And they want Lelouch.

But Suzaku pulls away all too quickly and Lelouch is left to watch him shed his shirt with a feisty grin and provocative movements; a little shoulder wag once it's bare, arching his back in a way that emphasizes his firm pectorals and stiff nipples… Lelouch lets his fingers wander up the taut terrain of Suzaku's stomach, helping the brunet to maintain his smile as he flings his shirt into the air somewhere behind him. Suzaku has had this modestly athletic body since Lelouch started noticing Suzaku  _has_  a body; lean muscles padding supple, sun-coated skin... He slides his flat palms down the smooth contours of Suzaku's chest, naval and the edge of black pants when hands take root in the bed above his shoulders, making him realize Suzaku is  _gazing_  at him. Two grassy green orbs misted with a thick gloss of  _love_  that seems to drip and catch in the soft curving on his mouth.

"I love you." Suzaku says, softly. 'I love you.' Sweetly, as he leans down. "Forever." Lowering his lips towards Lelouch's. 'And ever.' Breathing against them—

Lelouch seals the gap between them with an upward lunge of his lips, his tongue doing all the talking in Suzaku's mouth while his fingers don't forget their priorities. They twist and tug quickly at fastens, feeling a stiffening growth against them and hearing Suzaku's satisfied moan hum inside his throat. They busily lap at each other's mouths with lips and tongues lost in a deep tangle while Lelouch's fingers tease the line between cloth and skin by skimming around Suzaku's hips. He slinks his hands inside loosened pants and over the bare curves of his husband's firm bum, squeezing another pleased mew from Suzaku that seeps from between their mouths. Lelouch pulls with a tighter grip to grind their hips, together and it sprouts a louder moan from Suzaku's mouth that nearly breaks their kiss. He chases after the taste of pleasure instead by roughly pushing Lelouch against the bed with his mouth and his hips down harder on the pair beneath him to match the directing of groping hands. Lelouch likes the eager sounds that purr over Suzaku's tongue and the more ardent his jutting hips become as he's pressed down more firmly.

Once Lelouch decides he's done lying passively on his back he shifts and rolls them onto  _Suzaku's_  back, never stopping their kisses. They're lips are fluid and savoring like Lelouch's hips that set a calm pace grinding over the eastern prince who pushes and pulls the tuxedo jacket from Lelouch's shoulders, tossing it aside. His hands then take a seeking stroll over a white shirt, sliding up and down Lelouch's back while said man rubs their crotches together with more pressure in slower motions while their lips slurp. But needing too much air and feeling all his excited blood catch up with him, Lelouch breaks the kiss with a quick inhale and hooks into Suzaku's pants and underwear. He stares down at fogged evergreen eyes and pink-painted cheeks through his panting before pulling clothes down and off – aside from one pant-leg that  _somehow_  turns itself inside-out around Suzaku's ankle. The brunet quietly snickers as Lelouch wrenches the  _un_ cooperative apparel away with a furrowed brow and proceeds to tug off a pair of black socks.

The reward for his efforts makes itself known.

"…See something you like?" Suzaku quips at Lelouch's long and silent stare settled between his bent legs.

A cool smirk pools in a corner of Lelouch's lips as he lies his hand flat on Suzaku's stomach, flicking a fleeting glance at the pair of eyes watching him before pecking kisses down the center of Suzaku's chest. His hand sails upward as his lips speckle downward, feeling Suzaku's body curve into his touch and listening to the soft, contented breaths when his fingers find a nipple. The tips of his first two fingers lightly circle over the small, hard nub and his lips reach a tight bellybutton. Suzaku's slightly undulating stomach tenses when Lelouch traces his tongue around the edge of the opening in a leisurely ring while his fingers begin pinching. The pink peak stiffens even more under his tweaking as his other hand skates along Suzaku's side and over an antsy hip to the growing hardness where his tongue joins. Lelouch lips are barely closing around the top when—

"Wait." Suzaku murmurs with a discouraging push on Lelouch's head. "I don't want my  _first_  as your husband to be like this."

Lelouch looks up with a smirk. "You're that close already?"

"…My heart is… very full." Suzaku's eyes are coated with a solemn sense of sentiment and it deflates Lelouch's sly lips.

Very well.

Lelouch upheaves himself from Suzaku and the bed, takes off his tie and unbuttons his shirt as he steps closer to the night table for the lotion Suzaku keeps in the—

But Lelouch is affronted by a gift basket wrapped in a pale pink plastic and topped by a  _very_  familiar red, dangling hearts bow, that's sitting proudly on the nightstand.  _Too_  proudly. Lelouch drops his shirt on the floor and inspects the little tag with scrutiny, a frown appearing when he reads looping scrawls, and then his frown  _deepens_  when he peers through the plastic. Oils, lotions, gels, soaps and a couple of oddly-shaped objects that Lelouch never,  _ever_ , wants to learn what their purpose is.

Goddamn _Clovis._

He sighs tiredly at his childish  _older_  brother and takes their usual –  _safe_  – bottle from the drawer, turning to find Suzaku lying on his side under the blankets with a frisky little smile. Lelouch feels it mirror across his own lips in rather tight pinches as he rests the lotion on the bed to remove the rest of his clothes. Suzaku pulls the quilt aside for Lelouch when he climbs into bed but more or less forgets it as the violet-eyed man settles on folded legs back between his bare thighs.

'And here I was thinking you'd like something  _special_  for our consummation.' Lelouch says with a cocky grin, spreading and warming a squirt of lotion on his fingertips.

"I get to spend the rest of my life with you…" Suzaku's back arches in a light twist after Lelouch's hand dips down between them, a whispery sound sliding through his nose. He shuts his eyes briefly while a ruby-ringed hand locked in his messy copper curls clenches and tugs.

'…So you don't need anything else?' Lelouch asks assuming the usual tag to that declaration.

Suzaku's lips quirk with a taste of deviousness. "That means there will be plenty of opportunity for special later. Right now, I just…" Suzaku pulls Lelouch down flush against him, sliding one hand down a bumpy spine and the other into the tassels of ebony hair. They kiss slowly, lips melting into each as he tightly folds his steely legs over Lelouch. "I just  _need_  you."

Well, shit.

_Sometimes_  Suzaku can be unpredictable and sometimes it flips Lelouch like an on-switch.

He enters Suzaku in a strong but careful push and watches the way it bends his husband's back with a feasting moan that burns in his ears and throbs in their connection. It stirs a carnal sound in his throat and he nibbles at the side edge of Suzaku's upturned chin in the beginning thrusts, swallowing the growl curdling in his throat. Lelouch feels it fall all the way to his hips where it belongs, swinging them harder against Suzaku's squiggly body and pushing hardier moans from his open mouth. They're nearing the end of their wedding night that has a lifetime together promised with following dawn, but acting as though they're only seeing the end.

Maybe that's not incorrect.

This is the end of all the time they've had to wait.

It's a celebration of a beginning and a farewell to an end.

Lelouch is beginning to understand what Suzaku meant when he said his heart is full…

Even so, this isn't the slow-burn that Lelouch had been expecting –  _hoping_  – for this evening. This isn't rushed or frantic or even desperate – just a culmination of  _everything_. He ful _fills_  Suzaku's wish but maintains a more reasonable pace to keep himself from inevitably burning out too quickly – and to cherish a night that can never be repeated… And to relish the sight, sounds and sensations of Suzaku swimming in ecstasy thanks to his own  _efforts_.

Since their beginning, Lelouch has been enchanted by the effect he has on Suzaku; how all the right touches in all the right places can make his body come alive for Lelouch and Lelouch alone – and then how all of that is  _magnified_  when he's  _inside_  Suzaku. It was a mysterious splendor at first, something new and enticing that Lelouch wanted to understand – and then he needed to understand until he just  _needed_. It became less like programming a computer and more like creating a lavished, delectable feast for both of them to enjoy, together. Almost four years later and Lelouch is still hungry; hungry for the known and even whatever that is still unknown of Suzaku's body, his being. He never tires of watching Suzaku's flushed skin and his lean muscles tense and crease as his body quirks to the rhythm and will of his lover. Suzaku is already panting and grasping at the rumpled sheets in a way that washes away everything else, except the two of them together at this moment like they were always destined to be. All empty lungs, beating hearts and writhing bodies—

But Lelouch notices a glitter of something budding in the corners of Suzaku's eyes… and he feels himself, everything – the world – stop moving. Suddenly, he remembers the journey is still here with them – or at least still with Suzaku. Lelouch is over it. He was over it before he moved to Japan. But Suzaku… his emotions are closer to the surface and linger longer and sometimes overflow.

He cries not in misery, but in joy.

And as much as Lelouch doesn't really understand how it's possible for happiness to bring tears, he  _understands_   _Suzaku_. He would call his partner's name but his breath is somewhere else, and it feels like an unnecessary sound, so he just wipes tears like he's done in the past; gently, tenderly and with a few kisses. Suzaku's arms wrap around him, one over his neck and another under his arm and over his shoulder as he sobs quietly and briefly.

Stopping when Lelouch's lips press against his.

When Lelouch begins moving his hips again.

This time Lelouch does it  _right_.

He sets his knees firmly on the bed and lets his hips build up like they wanted in a slower start as Suzaku clings to him. His bent legs squeeze against Lelouch's sides and his eyes dry as the two of them fall back under the waves of pleasure. Lelouch steadily rocks his body as they sink deeper and he remembers what it  _means_  to be buried in his first and only best friend as more of Suzaku's voice sails up to his ears. It pours softly into his head – his chest – and clouds like cotton until it unspools into his blood as boiled oil and spurs him to heave his hips even faster. Faster until Suzaku's body doesn't know up from down and his eyes get lost in a dazed luster…

This is far from their first time together but it almost feels like it could be their first time – and this is another moment Lelouch will remember for the rest of his life. Suzaku's form is a lyrical writhe under him with embracing limbs that fit around him like they've been missing pieces. Suzaku's accepting body and open mouth are a searing velvet under an almost vindicated desire polishing his face with pleasure – with a purity that glows on his cheeks like never before. All of this, all of Suzaku, is carving into Lelouch's skull. He can feel it like a red-hot brand sizzling through his nose as he inhales Suzaku's scent when he nuzzles into the curve between neck and shoulder, losing himself in everything that is his only love.

Everything that's been twisting in their bodies is close to snapping and a sharp warning pops from Suzaku's throat as his back tightly arcs. Lelouch can feel it in both of them and he digs into the sheets with a gripping hand as he races against their pulsing pleasure, feeling Suzaku's hand grapple at his wrist soon after. His other arm clingingly constricts around Lelouch's neck as his body stiffens from bent neck all the way to curling toes as their ascension reaches its peak. Lelouch lifts his head to watch it spear through Suzaku's eyes in beautiful bliss as his short breaths sharpen and their eyes meet a second before it breaks.

Suzaku falls first with a cry, chest bowing almost like a firing slingshot trying to launch his thrashing heart from his chest.

When the rush overwhelms Lelouch seconds later, it lingers in a wade of his hips against Suzaku's body that has already gone loose and soft…

Their resting bodies are coated in a light sheen of sweat that's warmed under the glow of lanterns while their heavy pants fill the air. Lelouch is a boneless, brainless puddle pooling over Suzaku, and he's quite content to stay that way.

"Hey, Lelouch, don't fall asleep." Suzaku gently shakes his husband's limp shoulder with a small fidget.

Suzaku, it seems, is not content with such.

'I'm not ready to go again, Suzaku.' Lelouch is barely able to grunt and weakly swats at the general direction of Suzaku's intrusion. '…Save some for the honeymoon.'

' _Charming_.' Suzaku grins and rolls Lelouch over with care—"But no. I just want you to stay awake."—but the western prince splats on his back like a cracked egg regardless.

Sleep sounds like a much better idea… than staying… awake.

"I know!" Suzaku suddenly springs upright in a fashion  _much_  too perky. "Want to take a bath?"

•-•

The water in the outdoor bath is warm and calming under the August night sky that cooled more than expected. The full moon is lonely because the stars can't be seen through the palace lights, the lampposts of this garden and the city shine, but Lelouch's attention isn't on the heavens or the weather. His heliotrope eyes are transfixed on the way his water-dipped fingers stream drops down Suzaku's skin as he runs them over a shoulder when the brunet settles against his chest in the bath. Lelouch loops his arms around Suzaku and just enjoys holding him here, now, for a long, quiet moment until Suzaku weaves their left hands together.

"We did it." Suzaku says with a cotton candy voice as he admires the fine couple their ringed hands make and Lelouch can distinctly hear the smile in his voice. "We're really married." He clenches his grip on Lelouch's hand. " _Married_."

Lelouch's expression softens with a placid smile and he hums in the positive as he nuzzles his nose in Suzaku's frizzy curls. The Japanese man leans into the kisses Lelouch garnishes on his head, bringing their woven hands up to his mouth and pressing his lips against the ring on Lelouch's finger. A soft, snowy hand slips down Suzaku's stomach and underwater, fingertips lightly threading through the little brown hairs bellow his naval leading to the un-pruned thicket below his hips. Water ripples rock around them when Lelouch's arm slowly pumps up and down, oozing Suzaku's voice through his nose in a smooth and delicate sound. His head lolls back on Lelouch's shoulder and he clenches their conjoined hands to his chest while his empty one rakes into and clasps the stalks of the Britannian's black hair as if to keep the bones in his body solid. His neck is left ripe for the picking in Lelouch's eyes and he licks dilatorily under a jawbone corner, tonguing succulent skin and sinking his teeth in before sucking. Something of a gratified gasp ghosts from Suzaku's lips as his body bows a bit, his rigid nipples pushing outward while Lelouch's arm churns a little a faster in front of them.

"Thought you wanted to save some for the honeymoon…" Suzaku tries to tease, but it floats softly on a calm current of building pleasure and it only makes Lelouch smirk.

'Maybe you can't wait that long.' Lelouch's lips are a hot whisper on the back of Suzaku's ear that tremors down his body.

"You're right." Suzaku says with a dark drape over his voice that isn't heard very often and spins himself around in a whirl of water to straddle Lelouch's lap. To look into his eyes. "I've waited long enough." He holds Lelouch's head with both hands as he fires up their lips with a roasting kiss, dipping his tongue into Lelouch's mouth and moaning when the hand that touched him before continues stroking.

Suzaku doesn't seem to have much desire for foreplay this evening.

His hips begin  _rutting_  Lelouch's hand almost immediately and his kisses are sloppy. Tame, but sloppy. He swivels his head side to side, breath spilling from the corners of Lelouch's mouth and teeth occasionally knocking together and although it isn't the sexiest smooch-fest they've ever had, Lelouch is  _feeling_  it. Kind of  _hard_  not to with Suzaku's enthusiastic erection in his hand; but it isn't just Suzaku's  _liveliness_ , it his honest need. The way his body has a craving only Lelouch can satisfy and how much of a drug it has become for both of them. When Suzaku's hand grabs at Lelouch under the water, he groans and bites the bottom lip plumping against his and feels the delighted shudder that scuttles down Suzaku's spine. Lelouch grasps a clump of moist, earthy brown hair with his free hand and yanks Suzaku's head back in a way that pulls a quick, sharp moan from the brunet's throat. He pants heavily up at the inky night sky, grasping a shoulder to distill dizziness as his lower body grinds closely against Lelouch's when their hands unite their rigid flesh under the wavy water. They slide and squeeze themselves together as the water splashes uproariously between them to Suzaku's spirited thrusting that rubs him as closely to Lelouch as he can. The western prince can feel the bumpy, somewhat jagged edges of the rock border of the bath digging into his back as Suzaku pushes against him, but he doesn't complain. He takes the discomfort and tightly twists Suzaku's hair as he bites an open neck in places he would typically avoid because they would show later – but the time for such prudence has died. A mewl wisps from Suzaku's nose and he claws into Lelouch's shoulder as his hair is roughly tugged, hips faltering when a mouth seals around one of his nipples. Lelouch teases the nub with his tongue and teeth the way Suzaku likes, listening to his husband's scattered sounds of pleasure nasally dripping into the sloshing of water.

"Lelouch…" Suzaku's hand reels up from between them to grasp ebony tresses and he suddenly falls into stillness.

Said Britannian prince looks to the breathy beckoning of his name. Their eyes lock.

"I…" Suzaku murmurs, voice sounding heavy and winded with a hot, sultry glaze in his eyes, and he doesn't need to say any more.

Soon enough Suzaku is bent over the edge of the bath and half-kneeling on the seat, moaning against Lelouch's hips as water leaps up around them. It swashes loudly in Lelouch's ears, but not nearly as pleasantly as the erotic chop of Suzaku's voice that shamelessly flops on the stone slates under his bracing arms. His sounds morph in and out of words and they're like chunks of coal fueling Lelouch as he brings them closer to the edge with hardy, direct thrusts that don't waste a single second of his energy. Lelouch watches Suzaku's body snake in front of him through the rolls of pleasure that ripple all the way from their connection and out of his mouth louder and louder. Then Lelouch realizes they've never done  _this_. They've had sex in the shower, in a bathtub, but not  _outside_  with nothing but the sky and the plants watching them. It's… exhilarating. Almost like a literal manifestation of what they've become – out and proud… so to speak. The fresh air is a soothing cascade over his swampy skin as he listens to the unhindered, uninhibited croons Suzaku has always kept so tightly contained.

They're going fast and hard, although not in haste or desperate impatience. This is enjoying the moment simply as it is – something that Lelouch isn't sure they've ever been able to do. Always a worry tethering them or a concern cemented around them. In bed some hours ago it was a rush of emotions and now all that shackling has broken and fallen away. Not to be forgotten. Only sweeten what's to come.

Suzaku blindly reaches behind at Lelouch's right arm and clasps with slippery fingers as he pushes back against the body filling him with a gutted instruction because he's  _close_.  _Harder_.  _Faster_. Then his voice melts into the slurring slopes of his lusting, low cries as Lelouch heeds his pleas. He tosses himself more heavily against Suzaku's round rear that braces more firmly; his violet eyes sinking into the infinite streams of solid muscle that shift and tense over a brawny body. Lelouch watches the silver on his finger glint as he slides it up Suzaku's bowing back before it's nearly lost in still-damp tousles of chocolate hair where he shovels his gripping fingers… but relaxes. He decides against indulging Suzaku's craving to have pain scattered over his pleasure like shrapnel and swoops his hand under and along Suzaku's belly until he's jerking his arm complimentary to his fast thrusts. It bursts a sudden, nasally bliss from the eastern prince and his body worms happily at the attention it had been craving. Suzaku shifts, pushing up from the stone and towards Lelouch who slides his free arm around the shorter man, kissing a rising shoulder as a hand reaches backwards to the back of his head and locks in his ebony hair. Lelouch is able to hold Suzaku closer as he moves, mouthing all along his husband's shoulder to his neck as a brown-haired head is thrown back and panting through beautiful, wordless sounds of ecstasy. Suzaku is alive and thriving in Lelouch's hands, around his own flesh, just where he was always meant to be and always  _will_  be.

When heaven hits them, it doesn't fall from the sky like a crack of lightning. It blooms brightly, cleanses the darkness, and sparkles on their wet skin through a warm tingle that hugs them as they dissolve into the deeper center of the bath. Together. They kiss in a wrapping embrace and a full moon shimmers on the water calmly lapping at their chests…

•-•

Tonight, tucked in snugly with Suzaku in his bed, is the best night's sleep Lelouch has ever had.

•-

-•

"This is so exciting!" Suzaku says, bouncing on his feet like a child on Christmas morning as servants hustle by to load luggage into one of two black luxury sedans parked at the inner entrance of the palace. "I didn't think I'd ever get to  _see_  Europe! I can't believe it! And can't wait to get there! There's so much to see, I hope we have enough time…"

They'll roughly have two months, which isn't a lot of time to  _thoroughly_  tour Europe or even just some of the places they've – Suzaku – decided to visit, but he has every right to be excited. It isn't Lelouch's first trip to this country cluster of the world, and even though he is looking forward to traveling and experience this with Suzaku, his excitement just isn't at the same level. His interests… lie elsewhere.

Lelouch sharply smirks. "Assuming you can walk after what I do to you, there might be time to sight-see."

"Assuming you tire as quickly as you usually do, I think I'll have plenty of time." Suzaku grins.

Lelouch doesn't think that's very funny – it's quality,  _not_  quantity.

But he takes it in stride—as in, with a few steps he lassos an arm around Suzaku's waist and closes the gap between their bodies.

"Then maybe I'll just have to tie you down to make sure you don't escape." He deviously purrs in a low murmur with his lips pressing against Suzaku's ear like a dangerous temptation.

Suzaku's body bubbles in a low and throaty laugh that's awkwardly giddy as he pats Lelouch's shoulder as if to say "Oh, you!" A thin, smug line carves into Lelouch's lips and he nibbles lightly at Suzaku's earlobe as he holds the eastern prince snugly in his arms. Suzaku squirms to look into amethyst eyes and a smile spreads across his mouth before he stands up on his toes for a kiss. Lelouch's holds him with both arms and fully enjoys this open-mouth kiss under the bright shine of midday sun.

"…Suzaku."

Spoiled only by the gruff man that has become Lelouch's father in-law.

They split like bowling pins even though Suzaku is still smiling contently and he leaves Lelouch for a moment alone with his father. Lelouch can't hear their words, but he can feel everything the Emperor doesn't say like slime seeping into his pores.

Suzaku's father hasn't been welcoming to Lelouch – not that he's ever gone out of his way to be friendly in the past – and while he can understand a paternal protectiveness, Lelouch knows it's more than that. Most obvious displays of affection between him and Suzaku are silently spurned and the smaller ones are just barely tolerated. If they were a straight couple, the Emperor wouldn't be nearly this rigid. Even though he's come a ways in terms of acceptance it's clearly still something he's learning to adjust to. Hell, there's probably still a part of him that thinks this whole marriage is just a ploy to gain Britannian control over Japan, but that's just healthy paranoia Lelouch can understand and doesn't condemn. He also gets the sense that his father in-law  _simply doesn't like him_. So, there's that.

Lelouch figures the Emperor's distaste is personal, because he'd be willing to bet that if Suzaku wanted to marry a  _Japanese_  man there wouldn't have been as big a stink as there was. Never mind that the Japanese Prime Minister  _Kaname_   _Ohgi_  married a Britannian woman and had a child with her.

Suzaku hasn't seemed to notice it, yet, and Lelouch certainly isn't going to be the person to tell him. Lelouch keeps his distance and remains as respectful as he needs to maintain the peace. Lelouch doesn't honestly care one way or another how the Emperor feels about him but he owes it to his  _husband_  to at least not rock the boat and accidentally toss Suzaku overboard.

Because if anyone is hurt through discord, it will be  _Suzaku_.

Lelouch stays where he is as stoically possibly under a beating summer sun in the height of day while Suzaku chats with his father. The Emperor seems to leave their parting to a shoulder pat and warning glower at Lelouch. The western prince smiles amiable and waves at the threat that's already been uttered – to not do anything damaging to Suzaku and/or the Japanese throne – as Suzaku joins his side like he never left.

"They're done with our luggage," Suzaku says as he doesn't waste any more time under the Japanese sun than he needs to by pulling Lelouch towards the cars. "Let's get this show on the road!"

"You mean into the sky." Lelouch murmurs.

"First things first." He retorts as they climb into the car and watch the Emperor get smaller and smaller as they depart down the road covered in a bushy canopy of trees curving over them. "We even get to take the private jet." Suzaku notes with enthusiasm not befitting royalty.

"Of course. What's mine is yours, right?"

Suzaku laughs. 'I should probably speak English from now on, huh? Better to practice more.'

'Don't worry. I've got you covered in English, French, Spanish, Italian and a little bit of German.' Lelouch nonchalantly says.

Suzaku  _gapes_.

'…What?'

"I'm just jealous." He simpers. 'You know so many languages – I only learned English because I had to. But, I guess now's my chance to learn a little of the other languages.'

But Lelouch didn't learn exactly learn them as a form of  _recreation_.

They drive through the palace front gates, and promptly leave them behind.

'You  _do_  already know a little bit of French.' Lelouch smiles and teases the tips of his fingers into the side of Suzaku's hair. Suzaku looks away from the car window with a questioning blink. So Lelouch leans in and kisses him. With his tongue.

When he pulls back with a thick, complacent smirk Suzaku's eyes are slightly narrowed.

'You really do think you're funny, don't you?'

'Yep.' Lelouch's lips soften into a less cheeky grin. 'But you love that about me, don't you?'

'I wonder…' Suzaku mumbles, but he doesn't resist the kisses that peck his cheek and he certainly doesn't stop Lelouch from taking his lips once more.

•-

-•

Mornings later as Lelouch sips an espresso on the balcony of a hotel suite with Suzaku who's admiring the view of the  _Eiffel Tower_ , he'll learn that their wedding was the most viewed event in television history,  _ever_. He'll smile lightly to himself, leave his phone on the table to join his husband leaning on the black iron railing and kiss the euphoric smile on Suzaku's lips.

Like the rising of the sun, this is only the  _beginning_ …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “The end!” :O This didn’t exactly turn out the way I wanted, and it’s entirely Lelouch’s fault. ;p
> 
> Last but not least: **thanks everyone** for reading/leaving kudos/subscribing/bookmarking!  <3 This is my first completed _multi-chap_ fic, which is pretty damn amazing since I’ve been writing fanfiction for like 6 years. ^^; I hope you’ve enjoyed the story and that I’ll see you in the continuation! (Or even in future fics!)
> 
> Update: **Extra Land** is the continuation, as seen in the  Land series. =]


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